Transition
Thoughts in twilight in 100 words15 total reviews
Comment from Janet Foor
I love twilight when the day changing into night. It's my quiet time.
This is a lovely piece. Very nicely done with very descriptive language.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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I love twilight when the day changing into night. It's my quiet time.
This is a lovely piece. Very nicely done with very descriptive language.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Janet, thank you very much for your dear comment.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow writer. Thank you for sharing your flash fiction, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Hello fellow writer. Thank you for sharing your flash fiction, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Thanks, once again, 13thpoet!
Comment from papa55mike
I like sunrises, but sunsets are beautiful too. What a wonderfully written story and I love the picture. I wish I had a six.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bles.
mike
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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I like sunrises, but sunsets are beautiful too. What a wonderfully written story and I love the picture. I wish I had a six.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bles.
mike
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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As you can imagine, I am very happy with your kind comment.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is really good and a well thought out way to describe the transition from late afternoon to evening. I like all of the beautiful, colorful, and descriptive wording you've used in this. I enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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This is really good and a well thought out way to describe the transition from late afternoon to evening. I like all of the beautiful, colorful, and descriptive wording you've used in this. I enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Jeffrey, so glad you liked it.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I have a feeling this piece may have been written by a poet. it has that feel to it. Unfortunately there is very little story here. As a descriptive piece it works well enough but nothing really occurs. Flash fiction is marked by terse taut language, description shorn away in favour of story/plot.
The distant sound of playing children vaguely rumors - may sound nice but means very little. Awkward phrasing.
With silent surrender, day slips off and night's black agent sets out his stall, claiming his percentage of the skies.
Light changes into deep indigo. - sequencing feels off here. Surely indigo would come before night's black agent?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Hi there,
I have a feeling this piece may have been written by a poet. it has that feel to it. Unfortunately there is very little story here. As a descriptive piece it works well enough but nothing really occurs. Flash fiction is marked by terse taut language, description shorn away in favour of story/plot.
The distant sound of playing children vaguely rumors - may sound nice but means very little. Awkward phrasing.
With silent surrender, day slips off and night's black agent sets out his stall, claiming his percentage of the skies.
Light changes into deep indigo. - sequencing feels off here. Surely indigo would come before night's black agent?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Giraffmang, thank you very much for your comment and suggestions. I am sincerely grateful that you took the time and effort to go into my piece with some useful critique. I will think it over and work with it, I promise. And, by the way, you are right, I am first of all a poet.
