Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "The Assault"A collection of stories: Some True, some not
10 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
Nicely written flash fiction. This story sounds as thought it might not be fiction. I would imagine men in situations where this could be reality have a lot of nightmares. It could be the beginning of a horrible siege.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2020
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Nicely written flash fiction. This story sounds as thought it might not be fiction. I would imagine men in situations where this could be reality have a lot of nightmares. It could be the beginning of a horrible siege.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2020
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Beth, thank you.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 100 Word Flash Fiction writing prompt.
This short story tells of a surprise attack.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the 100 Word Flash Fiction writing prompt.
This short story tells of a surprise attack.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 16-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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Thank you Sharon, I appreciate the good wishes.
Comment from Janet Foor
I'm sure that it is every soldiers worst nightmare. You have told the story very succinctly and helped the reader come along with you.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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I'm sure that it is every soldiers worst nightmare. You have told the story very succinctly and helped the reader come along with you.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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Janet, thank you. I do believe that this scenario does task the calm of a veteran.
Comment from L. R. Jensen
This is definitely a worst nightmare. You did a great job of capturing the tension and suspense.
The mind-numbing scream was a great description that changed the pace of the piece and brought the tension to a head. Well done!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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This is definitely a worst nightmare. You did a great job of capturing the tension and suspense.
The mind-numbing scream was a great description that changed the pace of the piece and brought the tension to a head. Well done!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2020
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L.R. Thank you!
Comment from Tami Urbanek
I can see how this would be frightening! The simple absence of light just makes it worse! Nice piece of flash fiction! It flowed nicely-meaning it wasn't choppy.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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I can see how this would be frightening! The simple absence of light just makes it worse! Nice piece of flash fiction! It flowed nicely-meaning it wasn't choppy.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Tami, thank you!
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Yeah that would be a soldiers worst nightmare. The surprise attack is the worst because it's just that, a surprise. I'm sure that they thought that they were ready for anything. When the sentry or scouts are taken out and the enemy is upon you as you observe it through your scope, it's to late. I like the engaging and intriguing work you've penned here. Great job and well done!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Yeah that would be a soldiers worst nightmare. The surprise attack is the worst because it's just that, a surprise. I'm sure that they thought that they were ready for anything. When the sentry or scouts are taken out and the enemy is upon you as you observe it through your scope, it's to late. I like the engaging and intriguing work you've penned here. Great job and well done!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Jeffrey, thank you, I would hate to have been caught by surprise like this.
Comment from rspoet
You've written an excellent short story for the contest
with very good description of the scene.
War contains many horrors seen and unseen.
The only question is why the figures was so clear to you,
but not the sentries.
Still, an excellent entry for the contest
Best wishes
Robert
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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You've written an excellent short story for the contest
with very good description of the scene.
War contains many horrors seen and unseen.
The only question is why the figures was so clear to you,
but not the sentries.
Still, an excellent entry for the contest
Best wishes
Robert
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Robert, my guess is they were fast asleep...
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Author,
Wow. I cannot imagine what a scene like this might really feel like - nor the moments following. Hell on earth is the only thing that comes to mind. I hope you haven't really had to experience this - and if you have, I'm so glad you're alive and well to tell the story.
Unfortunately, this isn't really a ff piece. Flash fiction tells a whole story, with beginning, middle (climax) and satisfying conclusion. This is called more of a 'slice of life' story. It tells what is happening to someone in a moment in their life. It doesn't tell the whole thing - do you see what I mean? The reader is left wondering... well...???? WHAT HAPPENED????
Though this very well may pass inspection by readers, I just want to let you know - and I don't mean to sound rude at all. I promise. *smile* But for future posts, perhaps you could keep this in mind. (And if you want to revise this - that's a possibility, too.) That's why these 100-word pieces are sooooo hard. To tell a complete story in 100 words is not easy.
Anyway. I don't mean to offend. Thanks for your time and much luck to you!!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Dear Mystery Author,
Wow. I cannot imagine what a scene like this might really feel like - nor the moments following. Hell on earth is the only thing that comes to mind. I hope you haven't really had to experience this - and if you have, I'm so glad you're alive and well to tell the story.
Unfortunately, this isn't really a ff piece. Flash fiction tells a whole story, with beginning, middle (climax) and satisfying conclusion. This is called more of a 'slice of life' story. It tells what is happening to someone in a moment in their life. It doesn't tell the whole thing - do you see what I mean? The reader is left wondering... well...???? WHAT HAPPENED????
Though this very well may pass inspection by readers, I just want to let you know - and I don't mean to sound rude at all. I promise. *smile* But for future posts, perhaps you could keep this in mind. (And if you want to revise this - that's a possibility, too.) That's why these 100-word pieces are sooooo hard. To tell a complete story in 100 words is not easy.
Anyway. I don't mean to offend. Thanks for your time and much luck to you!!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Robyn, I did a quick rewrite, thank you again for your honest reflections.
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Thank you so much for taking this as intended. Good luck!
Comment from papa55mike
What a wonderfully written piece of flash and I love the picture! We need to write more stories on the horrors of war to keep it from happening again.I wish I had a six.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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What a wonderfully written piece of flash and I love the picture! We need to write more stories on the horrors of war to keep it from happening again.I wish I had a six.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Mike, thank you for the virtual six.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow writer. Thank you for sharing your flash fiction, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Hello fellow writer. Thank you for sharing your flash fiction, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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I can't thank you enough. I have had review that informed me my flash fiction was not a flash fiction piece. That is didn't comply with a set of rules. So I guess I need re-work it. Have an awesome weekend, my friend!
