Haiku ( a fierce thunderstorm)
contest entry53 total reviews
Comment from BigPoppaJrock
A very well written and descriptive Haiku you have penned. Your visual aid helps create the illusion of a fierce thunderstorm. Good luck in the contest thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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A very well written and descriptive Haiku you have penned. Your visual aid helps create the illusion of a fierce thunderstorm. Good luck in the contest thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Thanks so much for your review very kind comments and best wishes, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Those thunder storms hurt at times and we have had them often in England, it is almost like the heavens are angry, few words here letting go of a mighty storm, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Those thunder storms hurt at times and we have had them often in England, it is almost like the heavens are angry, few words here letting go of a mighty storm, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Dolly,
Thanks so much sweetie, for you review and comments, they are greatly appreciated.
Hugs...Portia
Comment from Natalie Goodwin
I can imagine the hailstones coming down. This is a great haiku. I like that the last line is only one word. Best of luck in the contest. Natalie.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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I can imagine the hailstones coming down. This is a great haiku. I like that the last line is only one word. Best of luck in the contest. Natalie.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Natalie,
Thanks so much for such an outstanding review, six star rating and best wishes, they are greatly appreciated. Have a wonderful day.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from Bicpen
It sounds good and speaks with its own voice I aint no expert but is this conforming to the format ... who really knows it grips the winter with a terror of emotion and enlightens the mind.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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It sounds good and speaks with its own voice I aint no expert but is this conforming to the format ... who really knows it grips the winter with a terror of emotion and enlightens the mind.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Bicpen,
Thanks so much for your review and kind comments, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
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anytime ... Like I say I aint no expert but I like to learn about the other formats ...
Comment from jenintorre
This is a very cleverly written Haiku poem with a double meaning. I think you have a winner here. I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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This is a very cleverly written Haiku poem with a double meaning. I think you have a winner here. I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Jen,
Thanks so much for your review very kind comments and best wishes, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku about the fierce thunderstorm that produces hail stones that can break everything in their way down to the ground. Always a devastating experience to have around you.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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A very well-written haiku about the fierce thunderstorm that produces hail stones that can break everything in their way down to the ground. Always a devastating experience to have around you.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Sandra,
Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Ooooo... I like you choice of topic here and great way to choose words to make that storm seem real! ;) I would, perhaps, make a couple of suggestions (and PLEASE feel free to ignore!!):
instead of the dash (-) at the end of your second line, use a tilde (~) as it blends the 2nd to 3rd lines rather than putting harsh break in there
although a haiku does not have to be 17 syllables (that's just a maximum), your first lines are so bold and strong that your last line - instead of leaving the reader with that same bold 'parting image' - seems almost 'cut-off' or 'lacking'.... because 'groundbreaking' is a really great word with not only strong but visual connotations, I think you should add to the visual to 'finish' strong with, perhaps, 'groundbreaking downpour'
Again, you are free to ignore one or both... yours is an awesome idea! ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Ooooo... I like you choice of topic here and great way to choose words to make that storm seem real! ;) I would, perhaps, make a couple of suggestions (and PLEASE feel free to ignore!!):
instead of the dash (-) at the end of your second line, use a tilde (~) as it blends the 2nd to 3rd lines rather than putting harsh break in there
although a haiku does not have to be 17 syllables (that's just a maximum), your first lines are so bold and strong that your last line - instead of leaving the reader with that same bold 'parting image' - seems almost 'cut-off' or 'lacking'.... because 'groundbreaking' is a really great word with not only strong but visual connotations, I think you should add to the visual to 'finish' strong with, perhaps, 'groundbreaking downpour'
Again, you are free to ignore one or both... yours is an awesome idea! ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 13-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Yvette,
Oh, how sweet and kind you are. Thanks so much for your review and suggestions, which I greatly appreciate. I have placed your suggestions in the haiku and wow! an amazing compliment to this
Haiku. Thanks and sending a a "BIG HUG" your way. lots of love Portia
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Just so very glad you did not take my suggestion in a negative way....whew! ;) ;) ;) Have a wonderful weekend out there!! ;)
Comment from Dancemom
This is a well-written poem for the haiku poetry contest. You have described this hailstorm very well and I love how you described it as pulverizing.
Great job! Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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This is a well-written poem for the haiku poetry contest. You have described this hailstorm very well and I love how you described it as pulverizing.
Great job! Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2020
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Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with your haiku contest entry, pharp. Your words paint a super picture for readers. Good job, too, with the syllable count. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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You did a great job with your haiku contest entry, pharp. Your words paint a super picture for readers. Good job, too, with the syllable count. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 13-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
Thanks so much for your review, very kind comments, and best wishes they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
Comment from Darlene Franklin
I love this one. I love the fierce words you use to describe the hail, and the last line is perfect. The hail is indeed breaking the ground and everything else it touches.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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I love this one. I love the fierce words you use to describe the hail, and the last line is perfect. The hail is indeed breaking the ground and everything else it touches.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
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Darlene,
Thanks so much for such an outstanding review, the six star rating and your very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated.
Blessings...Portia
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You are most welcome!
