Reviews from

Code Blue

Another day in the hospital & in the wrong place.

3 total reviews 
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Okay, sir, so I don't know whether to laugh or cry: laugh because the nurse has no idea it's you outside the room and you're asking the doctor about yourself and it doesn't seem to register... and cry for the same damn reasons!! :) ;) So, okay, your attitude of 'oh, well, must be Tom' was pretty darn humorous as was 'lumbering chick' - no two ways about it, but Holy Toledo, Lobber! There's so much said and not said here that it could be taken and made into a comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live! ;) So, thank you for the laughter after a long day of students and such and best of luck in the contest, my friend!! ;) :) Yvette

appears and I try --> appears, and I try

Suddenly everything --> Suddenly, everything

Tom, my roommate is --> Tom, my roommate, is

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
    Hi Yvette,
    Glad you got more than a smile with the read .... I used to have students... lots of them! I buried most of them in my garden ... you have my sympathy. Also, thank you for finding the 3 well-spirited (floating ghost?) commas. Studying ?Punctuation? escaped me after I mastered the Period at graduate school. Never really figured out why people vertically stack periods ):( when horizontal )...( works just fine ... smoother, too ... the way God ... (a very bright woman) ... intended.
    Question: When writing it?s OK to omit the word ?you? if it?s ?understood? in the sentence. Why can?t the same rule apply to ?commas?. Now this is serious question being asked by an English major who?s read e e cummings and is prepared to omit precious Periods.
    - Lobber
reply by Y. M. Roger on 15-Feb-2020
    Lol! Guess you'd have to consult with the Englush Language deities on that one... as a Physics major, I'm afraid I would have to say that the laws must be followed or things get really messed up.... you know like law of gravity, inertia,... little things like that! LOL!! ;) ;)
Comment from Rikki66
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good luck in the contest. It must have been eerie hearing your room number and bed number called a Code Blue. I hope this was not an out of body experience. I hope you are doing well.
Rikki

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
    Hi Rikki,
    ...much better, thank you..sometimes I think my whole life is an out of body experience ... - Lobber
reply by Rikki66 on 13-Feb-2020
    Glad you are better,I am in the wrong time.
    Rikki
Comment from RodG
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really like how you set the scene as Code Blue blares in a hospital ward. I also like how your narrator is both a patient and an observer of what's going on. We see and hear everything through his eyes. His indifference toward his missing roommate gives the story a satirical tone.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
    Hi there,
    Thank you for your very pointed and perceptive comments and review.
    - Lobber