Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Truths!"Experiences of living
240 total reviews
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
Hmm... I'd like to start by saying this piece in entirety is confusing. It doesn't seem to make much sense.
First I'd like to ask, what does dimen even mean?
second - "Experiences of Life in Living" This seems to mean the same - eliminate one or the other.
third - "Fantasy pleasure of being uncaught ever!" It just doesn't sound smooth/ not proper. Perhaps "Never being caught in fantasy pleasure" Which by the way doesn't make much sense either in my opinion. Who really thinks of lying as a fantasy pleasure. It just seems odd and out of place.
Fourth - Your Acrostic is just full of fragmented words, not having any connection to one another.
I see you re-posted this after 12 years. I think this is in need of many improvements first. ~Kerry
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hmm... I'd like to start by saying this piece in entirety is confusing. It doesn't seem to make much sense.
First I'd like to ask, what does dimen even mean?
second - "Experiences of Life in Living" This seems to mean the same - eliminate one or the other.
third - "Fantasy pleasure of being uncaught ever!" It just doesn't sound smooth/ not proper. Perhaps "Never being caught in fantasy pleasure" Which by the way doesn't make much sense either in my opinion. Who really thinks of lying as a fantasy pleasure. It just seems odd and out of place.
Fourth - Your Acrostic is just full of fragmented words, not having any connection to one another.
I see you re-posted this after 12 years. I think this is in need of many improvements first. ~Kerry
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thanks.
Comment from cajunjoe
I see what is going on now, this chapter reads pretty good and Truths! , the picture really conveys what you are trying to say and doesn't nearly get as frustrated as the Skipper on Gilligan. So you suppress truths! No wonder, now I know your deep secret. Under new rule ride. That is very perplexing but not as much as So I lie! LOL, again. Thanks for hacking my mind
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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I see what is going on now, this chapter reads pretty good and Truths! , the picture really conveys what you are trying to say and doesn't nearly get as frustrated as the Skipper on Gilligan. So you suppress truths! No wonder, now I know your deep secret. Under new rule ride. That is very perplexing but not as much as So I lie! LOL, again. Thanks for hacking my mind
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thank you for this good literary comment I do appreciate.
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you're welcome
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello ... this is an original work. I enjoyed thinking about your poem and wish you every success with it. I also think that avoiding 'self-pride' is far from easy, some people have so attached themselves to their pride it exudes with every word they speak or write and they are continually honoring themselves, LOL. Good poem, and the picture suits it, cheers, Ana.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hello ... this is an original work. I enjoyed thinking about your poem and wish you every success with it. I also think that avoiding 'self-pride' is far from easy, some people have so attached themselves to their pride it exudes with every word they speak or write and they are continually honoring themselves, LOL. Good poem, and the picture suits it, cheers, Ana.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thank you for this wonderful review I appreciate.
Comment from Artasylum
Love the image... perfect... the message is hard hitting as it should be when truth is the subject. It is one of the hardest states to live in... truth leaves us naked. yours, diana
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Love the image... perfect... the message is hard hitting as it should be when truth is the subject. It is one of the hardest states to live in... truth leaves us naked. yours, diana
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thank you for this good review I appreciate.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I don't know how people feel good about lying. There are some things I think are okay to lie about you know like Santa, Tooth Fairy, etc. Let the kids have their fun but to lie about everyday stuff. To make stuff up just to try to make yourself look or feel better. That's not okay
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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I don't know how people feel good about lying. There are some things I think are okay to lie about you know like Santa, Tooth Fairy, etc. Let the kids have their fun but to lie about everyday stuff. To make stuff up just to try to make yourself look or feel better. That's not okay
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thank you for this nice comment.
Comment from Donka Kristeva
The author tells of two opposites: truth, one of the titles of God's Son ( "I am the way the truth and the life") and lie. Satan is called the deceiver , the father of lies. He fell from heaven because of pride, and love of self. The last line, I think has double meaning: Satan lies and it is joy for him; he also hides as do all who lie.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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The author tells of two opposites: truth, one of the titles of God's Son ( "I am the way the truth and the life") and lie. Satan is called the deceiver , the father of lies. He fell from heaven because of pride, and love of self. The last line, I think has double meaning: Satan lies and it is joy for him; he also hides as do all who lie.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thank you for this gracious review I appreciate.
Comment from phill doran
Hello to you
I have given this review 4-stars as I do not wish to corrupt your rating. Having read other reviews it is clear that I may be missing something and I wish to allow that it might be my reading and not your writing, which I battle to understand.
Even the line in your notes to reviewers such as myself "catch the hide in the style" is, of itself, difficult to interpret. ( Why use the third-person singular simple present indicative to communicate to the reader?)
I can see read the 'drift' of your sentiment - an amalgam of key words, your notes and the title/picture: but I regret that the subtly of the text remains obscure to me, despite repeated reading.
I will continue to endeavour to understand, and I wish you well.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Hello to you
I have given this review 4-stars as I do not wish to corrupt your rating. Having read other reviews it is clear that I may be missing something and I wish to allow that it might be my reading and not your writing, which I battle to understand.
Even the line in your notes to reviewers such as myself "catch the hide in the style" is, of itself, difficult to interpret. ( Why use the third-person singular simple present indicative to communicate to the reader?)
I can see read the 'drift' of your sentiment - an amalgam of key words, your notes and the title/picture: but I regret that the subtly of the text remains obscure to me, despite repeated reading.
I will continue to endeavour to understand, and I wish you well.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 08-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
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Thanks.
Comment from Caressa_08
Just showing who we really are & expressing this to others, is not easy...When pride gets involved, it seems lies can take over, sometimes, though..., If we look to God who knows us for who we really are..truth prevails.
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Just showing who we really are & expressing this to others, is not easy...When pride gets involved, it seems lies can take over, sometimes, though..., If we look to God who knows us for who we really are..truth prevails.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2013
Comment from Bobbi22
There are some who do get pleasure out of lying without getting caught. While your poem does have some good points, the words seem disconnected.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
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There are some who do get pleasure out of lying without getting caught. While your poem does have some good points, the words seem disconnected.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2013
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THANKS.
Comment from pattipac
Like how your poem speaks of two types of people. Those who seek and speak the Truth- no matter the cost- and those who deny and hide the truth for selfish reasons.
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Like how your poem speaks of two types of people. Those who seek and speak the Truth- no matter the cost- and those who deny and hide the truth for selfish reasons.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2013
