Comment from TillMcCauley

Excellent

Sorry I am not that versed in "structured" verse types so I can't really comment on that form, but I did enjoy it and found it well written and an enjoyable read.

Till

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2006

Comment from MaddyB

Excellent

Alcreator

I do love the challenge of the Tanka structure -
creating something, not only intelligible, but
meaningful. You've done a good job with that.

Then you compounded with a rhyming acrostic.

Good fun
Maddy

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2006

Comment from mslink1

Excellent

Escape, wink are things one does sometimes to over shadow the truth. This type person is void of speaking out truth for many different reasons. What do I know. I am not a poet but love poetry.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2006

Comment from nancybear

Excellent

Your Tanka poem is a challenge to read. Hiding the truth is always easier than telling. This is especially true if the person being told will get hurt. We always hate hurting people's feelings unless we really don't like them. Then we tell the truth just to watch the hurt look come over their face.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2006

Comment from ishta

Good

Did you mean "what a joy to hide"? That's the part that really threw me. I speak in confidence that although working with a certain count one should be clear. Is that not part of the plan? or am I just totally out of the loop on that? That's my truth, and my question. Thanks.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2006

Comment from fastdigits

Excellent

Clever little play on words in your special confined type of poetry. Your ending verse, "so I lie, what a joy hide," encapsulates your clever use of words, lie, hide the truth

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2006

Comment from edb

Good

There is definitely some good stuff here. The flow was a little hard to follow. I read it over and over to finally get, what I hope was the meaning. Short is always great! I think this has a lot to offer.

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2006

Comment from L K Pinaire

Excellent

This is nice. It's not what I expected, but the imagery, while odd, was clear. Nice work. Best of luck to you. *************************************************************

Good writing,

Larry

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2006

Comment from ShadowKatmandu

Excellent

Truth can be rare
Sometimes hard to find
When lies are common
Hearts are left behind

You said it right
To the last verse
Joy is kept hidden
When truth goes unrehearsed! :s

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2006

Comment from Mrs Jones

Average

Escape, wink, avoid in self-pride 8 syllables. es cape wink a void in self pride

I am sorry but I can't make any sense of this.

Cheers
Rose

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2006