Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Truths!"Experiences of living
240 total reviews
Comment from Pseudoname
T
R
U
E
S
!
!
!
I was just about to give up when there it was! I was afraid I was going to have to confess my inadequacy, but now I think it's safely hidden for another day!
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T
R
U
E
S
!
!
!
I was just about to give up when there it was! I was afraid I was going to have to confess my inadequacy, but now I think it's safely hidden for another day!
Comment Written 03-Jun-2006
Comment from GRSaine
Hi ALCREATOR WRITER,
Your poem,"Truths!" is certainly very apropros for the modern generation where the word seems to be missing from most everyone's vocabulary. Especially that of politicians and corporation executives.
GRSaine
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Hi ALCREATOR WRITER,
Your poem,"Truths!" is certainly very apropros for the modern generation where the word seems to be missing from most everyone's vocabulary. Especially that of politicians and corporation executives.
GRSaine
Comment Written 03-Jun-2006
Comment from Gresenle
They and you speak truths.
Right! God knows I suppress truths
Under new rule ride
Escape, wink, void in self-pride.
So I lie! What a joy hide!
Do you mean "joy ride" in the last line? I don't understand that sentence otherwise.
What a joy to hide?
With your author's notes, I understand this poem. Without them, I think I'd be floundering to understand the 4th line.
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They and you speak truths.
Right! God knows I suppress truths
Under new rule ride
Escape, wink, void in self-pride.
So I lie! What a joy hide!
Do you mean "joy ride" in the last line? I don't understand that sentence otherwise.
What a joy to hide?
With your author's notes, I understand this poem. Without them, I think I'd be floundering to understand the 4th line.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2006
Comment from proudgranny
Really nice poem that flows well and is exciting to read and reread. I guess we all find pleasure in hiding our truths. Exposure can be a difficult ride! Great Job!
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Really nice poem that flows well and is exciting to read and reread. I guess we all find pleasure in hiding our truths. Exposure can be a difficult ride! Great Job!
Comment Written 03-Jun-2006
Comment from cheyennewy
A very thought provoking write. The only thing I can see that is hiding is it spells the word "trues" like an acrostic...very clever. I like the play on words of "trues" and "truths"...this tanka must have been difficult to write...staying the message while staying within the confines of the rules. Well done...I enjoyed this one a lot...cheyenne
p.s. do I get a prize if I am right about what is hiding??
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A very thought provoking write. The only thing I can see that is hiding is it spells the word "trues" like an acrostic...very clever. I like the play on words of "trues" and "truths"...this tanka must have been difficult to write...staying the message while staying within the confines of the rules. Well done...I enjoyed this one a lot...cheyenne
p.s. do I get a prize if I am right about what is hiding??
Comment Written 03-Jun-2006
Comment from skatermom - Robbi
Your clue is referring to the style and not the message, so I have looked closely at how this was technically crafted.
Not only do I see a tanka, which is a form I do like better than most of the Japanese poetry forms, but also an acrostic.
(Sidenote: Didn't a poet named Kelly get credit for this form after expanding upon Japanese influence?)
Since the word revealed is "trues," and is not really a word, but a close approximation of "truths," it leads me to wonder if you meant this word to be also some form of a "untruth."
I like the subtext in this, which is not normally found in some of the tankas I have read here.
Nice change form one with less syllables.
Rob~
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Your clue is referring to the style and not the message, so I have looked closely at how this was technically crafted.
Not only do I see a tanka, which is a form I do like better than most of the Japanese poetry forms, but also an acrostic.
(Sidenote: Didn't a poet named Kelly get credit for this form after expanding upon Japanese influence?)
Since the word revealed is "trues," and is not really a word, but a close approximation of "truths," it leads me to wonder if you meant this word to be also some form of a "untruth."
I like the subtext in this, which is not normally found in some of the tankas I have read here.
Nice change form one with less syllables.
Rob~
Comment Written 03-Jun-2006
Comment from rivki1111
Hello...this is a very good Tanka and you have put a great deal of thought into its construction...short but very dense.
I enjoyed your careful word choices and found nothing to improve here...thanks for sharing your poem with me...rivki
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Hello...this is a very good Tanka and you have put a great deal of thought into its construction...short but very dense.
I enjoyed your careful word choices and found nothing to improve here...thanks for sharing your poem with me...rivki
Comment Written 03-Jun-2006
Comment from Mzhurst
They and you speak truths.
Right! God knows I suppress truths
Under new rule ride
Escape, wink, void in self-pride.
So I lie! What a joy hide!
Tanka looks so easy. Wrong! It is one of the most difficult forms to write. You have done it well.
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They and you speak truths.
Right! God knows I suppress truths
Under new rule ride
Escape, wink, void in self-pride.
So I lie! What a joy hide!
Tanka looks so easy. Wrong! It is one of the most difficult forms to write. You have done it well.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2006
Comment from joboofoo
This is a pretty nice poem.
You kept to your predefined sylable requirement nicely, and even manage to throw some rhyming in there, very nice.
The flow was a little lacking for me. Maybe I cant read it right or there's not supposed to be any but there just didn't seem to be any flow to the poem.
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This is a pretty nice poem.
You kept to your predefined sylable requirement nicely, and even manage to throw some rhyming in there, very nice.
The flow was a little lacking for me. Maybe I cant read it right or there's not supposed to be any but there just didn't seem to be any flow to the poem.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2006
Comment from ScarletAffliction
Oh but what a wicked chore to hide things!! Don't you agree? I'll bet you do. I liked the poem and thought it had a quirky comical feel as if to laugh at yourself and the rest of us mere mortals that think lying actually pulls something off. ;) good work
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Oh but what a wicked chore to hide things!! Don't you agree? I'll bet you do. I liked the poem and thought it had a quirky comical feel as if to laugh at yourself and the rest of us mere mortals that think lying actually pulls something off. ;) good work
Comment Written 02-Jun-2006
