Twenty ways to die
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Kassandra"Is about twenty ways to die stupidly
5 total reviews
Comment from estory
I'd say that your grammar really improved in this piece and the writing was much smoother. I only spotted a couple of spots where there were some problems and misspellings. Overall I'd say it was an interesting, dark comedy piece. We see the girl longing for a cat and finally getting one after all the years, then picking up the respiratory disease that kills her from the cat. Sad. There's a little moral in it too; The things we love can be the worst things for us in the end. estory
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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I'd say that your grammar really improved in this piece and the writing was much smoother. I only spotted a couple of spots where there were some problems and misspellings. Overall I'd say it was an interesting, dark comedy piece. We see the girl longing for a cat and finally getting one after all the years, then picking up the respiratory disease that kills her from the cat. Sad. There's a little moral in it too; The things we love can be the worst things for us in the end. estory
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much and the story is based on something real, my cat that died last November because of a respiratory disease. She was an illegal, because I was not allowed to have pets, but she lived with me for 8 years.
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
Awww!! Cats are also my weakness and they are the most beautiful creature in earth I believe. I can literally feel and connect with the condition of Kassandra. Hopefully you'll win this contest. Best of luck!!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Awww!! Cats are also my weakness and they are the most beautiful creature in earth I believe. I can literally feel and connect with the condition of Kassandra. Hopefully you'll win this contest. Best of luck!!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Thank you cats are my favorites too. Thank you so much and the story is based on something real, my cat that died last November because of a respiratory disease. She was an illegal, because I was not allowed to have pets, but she lived with me for 8 years.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi
I tried to make the corrections in red. However, the copy and paste did not work.
Please read through and notice the changes. Most of the changes are about time tenses.
I have a tense time line, if I can figure out how to send it to you, I will do so. It really can help.
I hope this is okay. You have said you just want to learn. I am not an expert by any means, and hope this helps.
I really am so inspired by you. I even tried to write a short story in German:-)
Good luck and I hope you have a good week.
padumachitta
Kassandra loved cats. She waslived and breathed for them. This was one of the reasons she volunteered for the city Animal Shelter. Every time she got a free hour she ran to see those poor fur ball orphans.
She was dreaming about the day when she was going to be allowed to adopt a kitty. In Alberta, the rules are: the tenant shall not have pets if the landlord doesn't allow it! It is the LAW!
She heard from her coworkers that the legislation might change in her favour. And man, she was waiting... for more than ten years. On the eleventh year, Kassandra decided to get her "kitty fix" by volunteering. She was literally was living in the shelter and she was so happy.
Her favourite was a three year old boy named Mittens, a charming black ragdoll with white mittens. Every time somebody approached his cage she prayed that they would walk away and leave that sparkle boy alone. Mittens was hers. It's not like she didn't want him to be adopted, but she wanted to be his forever mummy and nobody else.
Today Mittens was very agitated, he looked sick, his pupils were dilated and his walk was funky. Kassandra called the vet on duty, and that guy didn't give a shit about Mittens; after all there were thousands of cats waiting to be rescued. Mittens was just an "unlucky" number.
That was the last straw! Kassandra took Mittens from his cage and ran out from of the animal shelter and started calling all her friends that had cats. She needed an excellent vet. Kassandra finally found one that was the best in town. He agreed to see Mittens immediately. After a long consultation he came back with a bad news that was devastating for Kassandra. Her boy, Mittens, was very sick; he had an upper respiratory disease which unfortunately was incurable. He had a few hours to live.
Kassandra decided to take Mittens home and finally give him a forever home, the home which he had always dreamt. She put Mittens in the bed and she lay next to him. She just wanted to die with Mittens, the cat she fell in love with at first sight. Somebody once told her, be careful what you wish for, because it might come true.
And her wish came true. Kassandra died holding Mittens close to her heart. In her last moments she thought she will not be missed. She was an orphan just like Mittens. In a way this was the best thing that ever happened to her. She finally was not alone ; Kassandra hoped that she would be allowed to go with Mittens over the rainbow bridge, into cat's Paradise.
The landlord discovered Kassandra and Mittens a couple of days later, the cause of death was respiratory disease caused by living in the proximity of cats. What an irony... too much love can kill you...
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
 |
Hi
I tried to make the corrections in red. However, the copy and paste did not work.
Please read through and notice the changes. Most of the changes are about time tenses.
I have a tense time line, if I can figure out how to send it to you, I will do so. It really can help.
I hope this is okay. You have said you just want to learn. I am not an expert by any means, and hope this helps.
I really am so inspired by you. I even tried to write a short story in German:-)
Good luck and I hope you have a good week.
padumachitta
Kassandra loved cats. She waslived and breathed for them. This was one of the reasons she volunteered for the city Animal Shelter. Every time she got a free hour she ran to see those poor fur ball orphans.
She was dreaming about the day when she was going to be allowed to adopt a kitty. In Alberta, the rules are: the tenant shall not have pets if the landlord doesn't allow it! It is the LAW!
She heard from her coworkers that the legislation might change in her favour. And man, she was waiting... for more than ten years. On the eleventh year, Kassandra decided to get her "kitty fix" by volunteering. She was literally was living in the shelter and she was so happy.
Her favourite was a three year old boy named Mittens, a charming black ragdoll with white mittens. Every time somebody approached his cage she prayed that they would walk away and leave that sparkle boy alone. Mittens was hers. It's not like she didn't want him to be adopted, but she wanted to be his forever mummy and nobody else.
Today Mittens was very agitated, he looked sick, his pupils were dilated and his walk was funky. Kassandra called the vet on duty, and that guy didn't give a shit about Mittens; after all there were thousands of cats waiting to be rescued. Mittens was just an "unlucky" number.
That was the last straw! Kassandra took Mittens from his cage and ran out from of the animal shelter and started calling all her friends that had cats. She needed an excellent vet. Kassandra finally found one that was the best in town. He agreed to see Mittens immediately. After a long consultation he came back with a bad news that was devastating for Kassandra. Her boy, Mittens, was very sick; he had an upper respiratory disease which unfortunately was incurable. He had a few hours to live.
Kassandra decided to take Mittens home and finally give him a forever home, the home which he had always dreamt. She put Mittens in the bed and she lay next to him. She just wanted to die with Mittens, the cat she fell in love with at first sight. Somebody once told her, be careful what you wish for, because it might come true.
And her wish came true. Kassandra died holding Mittens close to her heart. In her last moments she thought she will not be missed. She was an orphan just like Mittens. In a way this was the best thing that ever happened to her. She finally was not alone ; Kassandra hoped that she would be allowed to go with Mittens over the rainbow bridge, into cat's Paradise.
The landlord discovered Kassandra and Mittens a couple of days later, the cause of death was respiratory disease caused by living in the proximity of cats. What an irony... too much love can kill you...
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for the corrections and so sorry for my delay . Thank you so much and the story is based on something real, my cat that died last November because of a respiratory disease. She was an illegal, because I was not allowed to have pets, but she lived with me for 8 years.
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is really good. It reminds me of something we would see on The Twilight Zone! Her dying with the cat was a surprise. But then, someone had to die because that's what the rules said. LOL Good luck in your contest!
Patty
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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This is really good. It reminds me of something we would see on The Twilight Zone! Her dying with the cat was a surprise. But then, someone had to die because that's what the rules said. LOL Good luck in your contest!
Patty
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much and so sorry for the delay. The story is based on something real, my cat that died last November because of a respiratory disease. She was an illegal, because I was not allowed to have pets, but she lived with me for 8 years.
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You're welcome! I'm glad that your kitty had you for that long time!
Patty
Comment from royowen
This is such a classic story. How could you not cry at this wonderfully touching story, Mittens and Kassandra, both orphans die in each other's paws. Beautifully written Iza, and not a single typo I found, that is a super effort dear friend, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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This is such a classic story. How could you not cry at this wonderfully touching story, Mittens and Kassandra, both orphans die in each other's paws. Beautifully written Iza, and not a single typo I found, that is a super effort dear friend, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much and so sorry for the delay. The story is based on something real, my cat that died last November because of a respiratory disease. She was an illegal, because I was not allowed to have pets, but she lived with me for 8 years.
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They are beautiful creatures
