Reviews from

Aaron's Dragons

Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Dragons Come Home"
An aging knight finds a clutch of dragon eggs

14 total reviews 
Comment from Contests

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A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
    Awesome. I didn't know there was such a thing till now. Thanks!
Comment from Sylvia Page
Excellent
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Loved this story, Cindy and especially how the dragons were welcomed and honoured by the children. That boy had it coming but he is a bad apple and needs to be watched. Never know how he will react.
Look forward to more of the story especially when the chickens have hatched.
Best wishes
Sylvia

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
    Thanks. Yep, he's a bad apple. I don't know if I want him to be part of the story, tho. I just thought this chapter needed a little action.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
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I like the fact the dragons were so well received. I know as always, their is usually one person, sometimes two in such a gathering that push the envelope. That boy got what he deserved. Fortunately, they weren't trying to hurt him. I think that he still needs to be watched. I've enjoyed reading this well written saga. Well done!

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
    Thanks. I don't know if the bully boy will really be part of the story. I just thought this chapter needed a little action. But he does need watching. Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from JudyE
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I enjoyed this, thanks.

Just a couple of points:

After that all the children wanted to feed him - comma needed after 'that'

"He thinks you were brave," she told him. He likes brave. Pushing you was not brave. He didn't like it." - speech marks needed before 'He likes brave'

In the meantime we'll keep the fire going - comma after 'meantime'

"It's going to make some people pretty happy once they start laying their own eggs," said Duane. - this might need rearranging as it sounds as the people are going to start laying their own eggs.

Best wishes
Judy





 Comment Written 12-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
    Thanks. I'll fix that right away.
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Love this chapter, Cindy. Shitting on one's foe - the perfect answer!
Nice the way you've used the children as an ice-breaker.
Dragons may be creatures to marvel at, but chickens are, too. We tend to discredit the former and take the latter for granted.
We could have done with a friendly dragon or two when old man fox came visiting last year.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
    Thanks! Yep, foxes and coyotes can be a problem when you have chickens. My daughter has them. She also has two Great Pyrenees. They do a pretty good job of keeping coyotes away. A couple of dragons would come in handy too. The dragons couldn't hurt the kid without scaring people, so they did the next best thing. He's just a homegrown bully.
Comment from juliaSjames
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This was a good chapter. You've led up to this moment of the dragons meeting the people so that it works quite neatly. I smiled at the image of Black politely accepting titbits, remembering his feisty behaviour as a baby.

Since I'm squeamish, I would have preferred less graphic punishment for the bully.

The chicken eggs provided a comic interlude.

I'll be sorry when this book ends, Cindy. I've grown to love Aaron and his dragons.

Blessings Julia

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
    Thanks. I hope I didn't totally gross people out. I wanted the dragons to let the kid know he couldn't throw rocks at them without hurting him. It had to be something dragons could do. I'm open to suggestions if you thought that was to graphic.
Comment from damommy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Delightful story! I'm so glad everyone loved the dragons. How could they not? I'm glad the boy got punished, but I think they need to watch out for him. The chicken part is so cute. I can't wait to see how they react to a chicken.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thanks! I'm afraid Pink is going to be a little disappointed when she sees what a chicken is. The boy isn't really part of the story, I just thought this chapter needed a little more action.
reply by damommy on 11-Feb-2020
    Good. I don't have to worry about him hurting the dragons.
Comment from Shirley McLain
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Excellent chapter, fast-moving, with a surprise added, phew! Your characters are excellent and the dialogue fit the storyline without difficulty. You did a great job. Shirley

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thanks. I thought it needed a little more action, so I added the scene with the bully. Glad it worked.
Comment from BeasPeas
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Cindy,
This is a well written chapter to your story. You've given personification (names and personalities) to the dragons to endear them to your reader.

It's interesting that the dragons are inquisitive about the chicken eggs and the cycle of chickens. I like chickens.

Eliminate (1) "stuffed" in this sentence:
"They had been sitting and allowing themselves to be stuffed with bugs all afternoon, and their bellies were stuffed."
Marilyn

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thanks! I think you're right. One 'stuffed' has been eliminated.
reply by BeasPeas on 10-Feb-2020
    Hi Cindy. Glad to have helped. Sometimes in our own writing, we don't see things. :) Marilyn
reply by Anonymous Member on 10-Feb-2020
    Hi Cindy. Glad to have helped. Sometimes in our own writing, we don't see things. :) Marilyn
Comment from Mistydawn
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I'm so glad the villagers took to the dragons. The children seemed to adore them, well all but one. He got what he deserved, lol. The chapter is very well-written, interesting, believable and your character's actions, their dialogue really brings them to life.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thanks. There's always one, isn't there? Yep, he got what he deserved.