A Sinking Feeling
Never break up on Valentine's Day15 total reviews
Comment from Michele Harber
Roxanna, the last poem of yours that I read was about depression. I'm so glad to see that you've got your sense of humor back. This was very funny, in a macabre sort of way, which makes it a perfect entry for the "My Bloody Valentine" challenge. You have a real feel for rhymes, and you show it off beautifully in this poem. I particularly enjoyed the rhyme of "smelly" and "Bocelli."
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
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Roxanna, the last poem of yours that I read was about depression. I'm so glad to see that you've got your sense of humor back. This was very funny, in a macabre sort of way, which makes it a perfect entry for the "My Bloody Valentine" challenge. You have a real feel for rhymes, and you show it off beautifully in this poem. I particularly enjoyed the rhyme of "smelly" and "Bocelli."
Comment Written 12-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
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Thank you. Murder always seems to cheer me up. =} Just kidding. I am feeling better. Maybe the new meds are beginning to work. Thanks again. Rox
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I'm so happy to hear that, Roxanna (the meds part, not the murder part)!
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Oh yes! What a fantastic offering for this challenge! Geez, dudes! Look out for this Lady! She doesn't play around! Love this! Thanks so much for for this "Horrible" Valentine's Day poem!
xoxo
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
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Oh yes! What a fantastic offering for this challenge! Geez, dudes! Look out for this Lady! She doesn't play around! Love this! Thanks so much for for this "Horrible" Valentine's Day poem!
xoxo
Comment Written 11-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
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That's right. Never try to break up with me by text, though it seems to be common these days. Lots of bodies in trunks in smelly swamps out there. I'm so glad I live in FL. =] Thanks so much.
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Thank you for writing for the club! I?m working on mine and hope to post by V-Day!
Comment from Bicpen
Excellent ...
Classic stuff very chilling especially when we discover ones end in the refusal of a valentine break up ... it flows smooth with a few good lyrical lines of worth to mix the tempo but it tells me of a long forgotten feud that may well be better not addressed certainly not on here as it will make front page.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Excellent ...
Classic stuff very chilling especially when we discover ones end in the refusal of a valentine break up ... it flows smooth with a few good lyrical lines of worth to mix the tempo but it tells me of a long forgotten feud that may well be better not addressed certainly not on here as it will make front page.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Yes it would make a great Dateline episode. =] Thank you so much.
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anytime ...
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written bloody Valentine's poem. It is cruel to make a girl feel special just to break up on Valentine's Day. He deserved what came to him in that smelly lake.
Typo
But I'd be happy with (a) just a date.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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A very well-written bloody Valentine's poem. It is cruel to make a girl feel special just to break up on Valentine's Day. He deserved what came to him in that smelly lake.
Typo
But I'd be happy with (a) just a date.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Never break up on Valentines Day. Thank you for the help as well. Rox
Comment from Lu Saluna
Excellent poem for the "My Bloody Valentine" event. He has a few good times and some good laughs and thinks he break up with a text. Huh, you showed him, lol. Great story in a poem.
I hope you enjoy mine when I write it of course.
Lu
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Excellent poem for the "My Bloody Valentine" event. He has a few good times and some good laughs and thinks he break up with a text. Huh, you showed him, lol. Great story in a poem.
I hope you enjoy mine when I write it of course.
Lu
Comment Written 11-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Yeah, he was sorry. Won't have to worry about him anymore. =} My co-workers think I really did this. =] Thanks so much. Rox
Comment from w.j.debi
Valentine's Day has its ups and downs and for this relationship it was a downer two years in a row. It's certainly his last. Creepy revenge. Well written.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Valentine's Day has its ups and downs and for this relationship it was a downer two years in a row. It's certainly his last. Creepy revenge. Well written.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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I've learned to just make it a day to share with friends. I got tired of killing off all my boyfriends. =] I make everyone a Rice Krispy heart with peanut butter covered in choc. It's very popular. =] Thanks so much.
Comment from Teri7
This is very well written and it sounds like a psycho would write something like this and do this. There have been scary movies about this type of thing happening to. The imagery and words went together well. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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This is very well written and it sounds like a psycho would write something like this and do this. There have been scary movies about this type of thing happening to. The imagery and words went together well. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Thank you dear.
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you are so welcome! May God bless you! love Teri
Comment from CrystieCookie999
A dark satire with great poetic techniques here and here. I found 'd' alliteration in dinner, dancing, drives " but the poem takes that dark turn after the terse text: "Baby, I'm done." Here is the darkest part but more obvious satire/parody: Screams and pounding in a swamp so smelly,
I text him the words to that song by Andrea Bocelli.
'Time to Say Good-bye' but I retitled it,'Time to Die.
This would be great re-posted around Halloween.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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A dark satire with great poetic techniques here and here. I found 'd' alliteration in dinner, dancing, drives " but the poem takes that dark turn after the terse text: "Baby, I'm done." Here is the darkest part but more obvious satire/parody: Screams and pounding in a swamp so smelly,
I text him the words to that song by Andrea Bocelli.
'Time to Say Good-bye' but I retitled it,'Time to Die.
This would be great re-posted around Halloween.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Don't even try to dump me by text! =] My co-workers think I really did this. Keeps them in line. =] Thanks so much.
Comment from Stephanie Paige
I enjoyed reading this. I found myself thinking, "this would be a great episode of Dateline". The rhyming in this poem did not feel forced. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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I enjoyed reading this. I found myself thinking, "this would be a great episode of Dateline". The rhyming in this poem did not feel forced. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Yes, I love Dateline, can you tell? =] Thanks so much.
Comment from Mistydawn
I'm beginning to really worry about you. First, you write about a psychotic serial killer and now this. I'm thinking I should notify the police, lol. Your story poem is very well-written, interesting. What seems to be a great romance gone bad. What a jerk breaking up with her on Valentine's day with a text. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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I'm beginning to really worry about you. First, you write about a psychotic serial killer and now this. I'm thinking I should notify the police, lol. Your story poem is very well-written, interesting. What seems to be a great romance gone bad. What a jerk breaking up with her on Valentine's day with a text. Nicely done.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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I have always worried about myself. My co-workers think I really did this. =] I do have a dark side. Me and Darth. =] Thanks so much. Rox
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Lol. I sometimes worry about me too. Some of the things I write about, look up.
