Reviews from

Blended Reality

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Branching Points"
A collection of stories: Some True, some not

34 total reviews 
Comment from bhogg
Excellent
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I liked your post a lot. I saw a few things that could be corrected, but I never worry about those. Instead, I look for folks who can tell a story. You can. Well written. Good luck in your contest. Forgive your mother. In the scheme of things...not so bad. Bill

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
    Bill, thanks. I do hope to depend on an editor someday to perfect my composition. I did forgive both parents, it is some Higher Divinity that judges, not me. I had great mentors and I am at Peace.
Comment from damommy
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What a horrific childhood. Very emotional to read. Obviously, you came out of it well if scarred a bit. I like the advice of your teacher. I'm wondering if you made it to West Point.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
    Thank you, I had many good mentors and I decided to go Army Medical Corp instead of West Point.
reply by damommy on 08-Feb-2020
    Oh, good for you!
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I start therapy, actual therapy, on Wednesday for the stuff I went through. I'm terrified, excited, I hope they forgot to actually schedule me, or do I just want to get it over with and begin this process. It's so crazy to me. I'm so thankful you shared your story.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
    I lift you up in the highest regard! To take that first step into therapy is a huge leap of conviction. Take it from some one who has been through it, if you want to find peace, to learn to Love yourself, to develop the areas where there maybe linger wounds - GO FOR IT! Never look back, lean your shoulder against the boulder and free yourself from the chains of the past--Remember that you are not the first -nor will you be the last one taken control of your life's journey, I wish you great success! You are never alone in this quest....
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent
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All I can say is, WOW! It was tough reading through all of those memories. A couple of them made me cringe. Great writing about some hard things. Shirley

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
    Shirley,, thank you for toughing through my story. We all have life hurdles, some are low hurdles others are high hurdles. If we stay in the race we all arrive at the finish line.
Comment from BethShelby
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Wow! this is some story. I think it win the contest because it is indeed a true secret that affected your life greatly. I think it must have taken a great deal of courage to put this in writing, but seems to be this is was the best way to rid yourself of the thing that happened to. It is sad to know you have no reason to have good feeling about your past other than the one bright spot that took place with a teacher that cared. I can't imagine you ever forgiving your mother but her life was no bed of roses either. I'd give you six stars but I've used mine up this week.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
    Beth, I am grateful fro your validation and each of us carries the burdens of the past and while life can throw some very bad things int ones path, God always is there to intervene and put very good mentors in ones life to help one thrive in life.
reply by BethShelby on 08-Feb-2020
    God had to intervene in your life to make you what you are today in spite of growing up with such challenges.
Comment from Mrs. KT
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Hello Mystery Writer,
My god! What a moving biographical piece of writing. I was captivated from the very beginning. You write with such vividness. Yet, you are straightforward in how you share the instances that shaped your life.

Two suggestions/notes:
1. Avoid "you" in first section/paragraph two: The lake is calm; you (I) cannot see a wisp of a wave
2. I am wondering about the following as a fifth-grader would be 10 or even 11 years old: I am a child of eight -- Ms. Benner, my fifth-grade teacher

I hope I have helped and not offended.
I thoroughly enjoyed your offering.

Best Wishes,
diane

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
    Hi Diana when I came to the states, when tested for grade school they advanced me and I started two grade classes ahead of my age group. that would be another whole story of challenges. Ii welcome every comment always with open arms and full acceptance.
Comment from Debbie Pope
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This piece leaves me speechless. I cannot even imagine the horrors that you faced as a child. I have no forgiveness in my heart for either your mother or your father. Such people should never have children and yet so many children have stories that are as horrible as yours. I am glad that you are writing a memoir. This chapter is well told. My only suggestion would be to be more explicit in the second to last paragraph. Because incest is such an awful act, my mind did not want to go there until I read your notes.
Good luck with your book. Stay brave.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
    Debbie, I am so concerned to offend people about the incident. Therefore my footnotes I hope will allow a glimmer of what did transpire unfold to the reader. I have often said the stork that was delivering babies on my birthday dropped me off at the wrong address. each of us survives with God and good mentors in our lives.
reply by Debbie Pope on 08-Feb-2020
    I understand. I could not be explicit either. If you publish it though, I would be more graphic and omit the footnotes.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
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I think this is a good entry for the A Deep Secret writing prompt.
This short story of a young man's life and secret is clear and well told.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
    Sharon, thank your for bearing through the reading and commenting.
Comment from Ulla
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Hi there, Traumatic doesn't even begin to cover this. I'm so sorry for what you had to live through and for what you've carried throughout your life. I really don't know what else to say other than I'm so sorry. It's very well written. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
    Ulla, I wrote singularly for others who may have not had the opportunity to find there voice to similar life events. I found my voice and I was fortunate that I never accepted life in a victim mindset. I had many mentors and God always in the wings, thank you !
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
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I'm out of sixes. This was a heartbreaking story of your growing up. It seems many poor people end up this way, especially when they can find no way out. You learnt this at a very young age. Why they turn to drink when they haven't the money to feed their family, I don't know. Escapism? What happened between you and your mother was probably not remembered by her the next morning after she sobered up. Not that it's any excuse. I do hope you did manage to move on after talking it over. Good luck in the contest, this is a really strong entry. Sandra xx

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
    Sandra, I have found Peace through Grace and I learned life through observation not expectations. In other words go with the flow. Doing things this way there are far fewer let downs in life. Thank you for the supportive validations.