Last Call
A final drink before you go...53 total reviews
Comment from damommy
So he took Charles' last coin for passage. That just why I don't carry any kind of currency on me. They'd have to leave me without my fare.
Good descriptions of characters and surroundings. You kept me suspense all the way through. Then wham! Great story.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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So he took Charles' last coin for passage. That just why I don't carry any kind of currency on me. They'd have to leave me without my fare.
Good descriptions of characters and surroundings. You kept me suspense all the way through. Then wham! Great story.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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LOL!! But then you'd be cursed to wander the banks of Styx forever... ;) :) wink, wink!! :) I do so enjoy playing with a presence of mythology in the present, Yvonne -- kindof an easy escape when you don't have a lot of time on your hands! And who doesn't like the 'quick escape' without chemical assistance?! LOL! ;) :) :) Take care and have an awesome weekend out there!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Tpa
I enjoyed your story for many reasons such as the descriptions of your characters and the setting that made the reader imagine that they were sitting at the bar. The beginning was strong, grabbed my interest until the very end. May you scoop up one of the prizes, if not, you're a winner on my list.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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I enjoyed your story for many reasons such as the descriptions of your characters and the setting that made the reader imagine that they were sitting at the bar. The beginning was strong, grabbed my interest until the very end. May you scoop up one of the prizes, if not, you're a winner on my list.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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I do so enjoy playing with a presence of mythology in the present, Tpa -- kindof an easy escape when you don't have a lot of time on your hands! And who doesn't like the 'quick escape' without chemical assistance?! LOL! ;) :) :) Take care and have an awesome weekend out there!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, what a story and you maintained the suspense until the end. I like the visual description of the main character, you can actually feel it like a real person with needs and wants. The end is like a cold shower:" - he strode to the door, retrieved his large cloak and ferryman pole, and turned - "it's mine" - his hideous face lit with amusement as he donned his cape - "for your river passage."
So is all about death... Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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Wow, what a story and you maintained the suspense until the end. I like the visual description of the main character, you can actually feel it like a real person with needs and wants. The end is like a cold shower:" - he strode to the door, retrieved his large cloak and ferryman pole, and turned - "it's mine" - his hideous face lit with amusement as he donned his cape - "for your river passage."
So is all about death... Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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I do so enjoy playing with a presence of mythology in the present, Iza -- kindof an easy escape when you don't have a lot of time on your hands! And who doesn't like the 'quick escape' without chemical assistance?! LOL! ;) :) :) Take care and have an awesome weekend out there!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Natalie Goodwin
I liked that you began the story with Charles struggling to remember what happened. It added to the suspense of the story. The descriptions are excellent, especially when he remembers a bang or pop sound. Also I liked the line, "He grabbed the hem of his shirt and wiped his tongue with it, wrinkling his nose at the metallic taste that would not go away." The metallic taste comes from the gun, although readers don't know it at that point in the story. But this sets the story up for the surprise ending. Excellent story.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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I liked that you began the story with Charles struggling to remember what happened. It added to the suspense of the story. The descriptions are excellent, especially when he remembers a bang or pop sound. Also I liked the line, "He grabbed the hem of his shirt and wiped his tongue with it, wrinkling his nose at the metallic taste that would not go away." The metallic taste comes from the gun, although readers don't know it at that point in the story. But this sets the story up for the surprise ending. Excellent story.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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Thanx so much for stopping by for this ?Mythology in the Real World?, Natalie? LOL! So glad you were entertained! Have a wonderful weekend! ;) ;) Yvette
Comment from susand3022
I never saw that one coming, BLOTS! heading across the River Styx? Now that's a boat trip I can pass up. I think I'll take the escalator (up) instead! LOL ;)
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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I never saw that one coming, BLOTS! heading across the River Styx? Now that's a boat trip I can pass up. I think I'll take the escalator (up) instead! LOL ;)
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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Gotta watch me BLOTN!! ;) I do so enjoy playing with a presence of mythology in the present -- kindof an easy escape when you don't have a lot of time on your hands! And who doesn't like the 'quick escape' without chemical assistance?! LOL! ;) :) :) Take care and have an awesome weekend out there!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Minglement
I wish I had a six this marvelous write. Beautifully mysterious, but I cheated and read your author note first :) I love the feel of this, the flashes of memory, the dark feel of it. Skillfully done. One line that puzzled me:
'Charles downed a swal' - Is this line complete? punctuation? Also wondered if he spat for the second time, why didn't the coin come out the first time. That was a genius bit, introducing that tidbit as you did. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest. This one's a winner in my book.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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I wish I had a six this marvelous write. Beautifully mysterious, but I cheated and read your author note first :) I love the feel of this, the flashes of memory, the dark feel of it. Skillfully done. One line that puzzled me:
'Charles downed a swal' - Is this line complete? punctuation? Also wondered if he spat for the second time, why didn't the coin come out the first time. That was a genius bit, introducing that tidbit as you did. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest. This one's a winner in my book.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thanx Marcia -- appreciate the wonderful review, ma'am. But my screens on both my phone and on my computer have that sentence as 'complete' with no cut off... it is "Charles downed a swallow for courage." Thanx for the heads up on the 'misunderstanding' of the coin bit ... will look at that. :) :) Take care! ;) Yvette
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Hey, there! If you get a chance, could you take another look at that coin part...? Thanx so much!!
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I re-read it a couple of times, but I'll take another look :)
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That works. Great read :) Stiff competition.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That fills me with confidence, Yvette! S'possin' I don't have a coin on me? Hmm, it might be better if I don't and then I can go around haunting everyone, LOL. That was a great twist at the end. I enjoyed reading your author's notes, too. Well done, my friend! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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That fills me with confidence, Yvette! S'possin' I don't have a coin on me? Hmm, it might be better if I don't and then I can go around haunting everyone, LOL. That was a great twist at the end. I enjoyed reading your author's notes, too. Well done, my friend! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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LOL! Naaah, don't wanna be without your coin -- you would be doomed to wander the banks of Styx forever (and I'm pretty sure they don't have my 'imagine tavern' there!!) ;) I do so enjoy playing with a presence of mythology in the present, Sandra -- kindof an easy escape when you don't have a lot of time on your hands! And who doesn't like the 'quick escape' without chemical assistance?! LOL! ;) :) :) Take care and have an awesome weekend, my friend!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Ricky1024
"Last Call"
Or your trip to Hell
Icing recall when the grim reaper accept you aboard he takes and requires two gold coins with two places over your eyes so that you cannot die from sexual see along the way?
...
This was well written and rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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"Last Call"
Or your trip to Hell
Icing recall when the grim reaper accept you aboard he takes and requires two gold coins with two places over your eyes so that you cannot die from sexual see along the way?
...
This was well written and rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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I do so enjoy playing with a presence of mythology in the present, Ricky -- kindof an easy escape when you don't have a lot of time on your hands! And who doesn't like the 'quick escape' without chemical assistance?! LOL! ;) :) :) Take care and have an awesome weekend out there!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Y.M. Thank you for not only a wonderful and well written script, but also for the Authors Notes that you included in this post.
I had some knowledge of the river Styx, but was unaware that the Greeks had a different name for the river and the same mythology.
Thank you for educating us all!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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Dear Y.M. Thank you for not only a wonderful and well written script, but also for the Authors Notes that you included in this post.
I had some knowledge of the river Styx, but was unaware that the Greeks had a different name for the river and the same mythology.
Thank you for educating us all!
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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I do so enjoy playing with a presence of mythology in the present, Suzanna -- kindof an easy escape when you don't have a lot of time on your hands! And who doesn't like the 'quick escape' without chemical assistance?! LOL! ;) :) :) Take care and have an awesome weekend out there!! ;) Yvette
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Dear Y.M. glad to know your name is Yvette. bet you could write a story about how you got that name. It is not a usual one, out here west of the Rocky Mountains.
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LOL! Or at least about the MANY different ways folks pronounce it!! ;) :) :) Good to hear back from you, ma'am -- be sure to stop in again sometime! ;)
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Will Do!
Comment from royowen
One can't help but see these Greek ancient gods as being more human than human, some of their antics were far more hedonistic than humans could ever be. Completely Righteous gods are hard to find in old religio/mythology. We created gods we could understand and control the "common people". This was a wonderful story Yvette, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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One can't help but see these Greek ancient gods as being more human than human, some of their antics were far more hedonistic than humans could ever be. Completely Righteous gods are hard to find in old religio/mythology. We created gods we could understand and control the "common people". This was a wonderful story Yvette, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
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I do so enjoy playing with a presence of mythology in the present, Roy -- kindof an easy escape when you don't have a lot of time on your hands! And who doesn't like the 'quick escape' without chemical assistance?! LOL! ;) :) :) Take care and have an awesome weekend out there!! ;) Yvette
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Well done
