Twenty ways to die
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "High versus cold"Is about twenty ways to die stupidly
8 total reviews
Comment from Mistydawn
A heart attack of all things. After she was so careful too. I guess it goes to show you when it's time to go, it's your time to go no matter how careful you are. The story is well-written, interesting, believable. On to the next.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
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A heart attack of all things. After she was so careful too. I guess it goes to show you when it's time to go, it's your time to go no matter how careful you are. The story is well-written, interesting, believable. On to the next.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
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Or panic can kill you:) if a germ will not...
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Iza, a very clever way to kill some one off ! Bravo !
You did ask for typos not yet corrected. I found 2 in the first paragraph. . . I am sure you intended to say She was the life OF the party. ( first sentence)
Her name was Joanna, SHE loved to smoke marijuana
( second sentence )
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Dear Iza, a very clever way to kill some one off ! Bravo !
You did ask for typos not yet corrected. I found 2 in the first paragraph. . . I am sure you intended to say She was the life OF the party. ( first sentence)
Her name was Joanna, SHE loved to smoke marijuana
( second sentence )
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Hi Suzanna, thank you so much for your review and for correcting the grammar errors.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Iza Deleanu
I like the title of your humorous story. And the sounds of click-click-click- now and then in your story about this gal who hasn't been outside for years.
Will be waiting for chapter two.
By the way I'm not good for picking up errors in punctuation and and grammar. I leave that to the one who know how.
Gert
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Hello Iza Deleanu
I like the title of your humorous story. And the sounds of click-click-click- now and then in your story about this gal who hasn't been outside for years.
Will be waiting for chapter two.
By the way I'm not good for picking up errors in punctuation and and grammar. I leave that to the one who know how.
Gert
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much Gert, you are too kind:)
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You are welcome Iza Deleanu
Gert
Comment from Alchera
I did like the downward quick steps towards your last killing process condemnation of the protagonist and its dropping loved junk and clicking internet buying idems without go out. These kind of people exist and are really ill. Your next characterisation could be an old greedy woman gathering newspapers and heaping them in her house until she bury herself under the loads of paper. I do love the usage of update vocabulary and style. A Good work indeed!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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I did like the downward quick steps towards your last killing process condemnation of the protagonist and its dropping loved junk and clicking internet buying idems without go out. These kind of people exist and are really ill. Your next characterisation could be an old greedy woman gathering newspapers and heaping them in her house until she bury herself under the loads of paper. I do love the usage of update vocabulary and style. A Good work indeed!
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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That sounds like an awesome idea:) Thank you kindly for your review
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Always welcome, dearest friend of mine. Have a nice day!
Comment from Ulla
Hi Iza, I liked your story but it has far too many mistakes. I've been generous giving you a five star. You really have to look into your grammar. It ruins the otherwise good write, which is a shame. I have pointed out a few things below but there's so many more.
Her name was Joana, that loved to smoke marijuana and jump up to the skies. = Her name was Joana, who loved to smoke ... Always 'who' when referring to a person.
The moment she arrived she expected for the desert= comma after 'arrived'
Under the torrid sun one minutes seems infinite.= Under the torrid sun one minute seemed infinite
She rolled up a joint and start puffing:= She rolled up a joint and started puffing
Make sure you write in tha same tense all way through. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Hi Iza, I liked your story but it has far too many mistakes. I've been generous giving you a five star. You really have to look into your grammar. It ruins the otherwise good write, which is a shame. I have pointed out a few things below but there's so many more.
Her name was Joana, that loved to smoke marijuana and jump up to the skies. = Her name was Joana, who loved to smoke ... Always 'who' when referring to a person.
The moment she arrived she expected for the desert= comma after 'arrived'
Under the torrid sun one minutes seems infinite.= Under the torrid sun one minute seemed infinite
She rolled up a joint and start puffing:= She rolled up a joint and started puffing
Make sure you write in tha same tense all way through. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Dear Ulla, please feel free to take the stars away, I am not chasing them:) I am more interested in correcting the grammar errors. English is my third language, and so far I have not mastered:(
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I wouldn't dream of taking away a star. English is my second language, and I've learned so much from this site. So my advise is keep writing and learn from your mistakes. Trust me, I still make mistakes and probably always will, but I know I've improved a lot over the last four years. I will keep reading. xx
Comment from Bill Pinder
That is an interesting phrase that I have never heard before, "snaked up." Where are you from?
It would help to keep your stories all in the same tense. For example, with the Susie story, it seems it would be better in the past tense. Bill
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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That is an interesting phrase that I have never heard before, "snaked up." Where are you from?
It would help to keep your stories all in the same tense. For example, with the Susie story, it seems it would be better in the past tense. Bill
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Hi Bill, I am from Romania and I have a bad habit of making up words for satiric effect. Thank you so much for your suggestions.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Iza, a terrific Tuesday to you. I hope this finds you well, in good health and spirit. I enjoyed your story it was humorous and well-written, if I had to choose one I would have to pic High. LOL Have a good day!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Hello Iza, a terrific Tuesday to you. I hope this finds you well, in good health and spirit. I enjoyed your story it was humorous and well-written, if I had to choose one I would have to pic High. LOL Have a good day!
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much Mr. Poet:) High-five:)
Comment from estory
I really liked the second story, of the girl Suzie. You created a great caricature there are the person obsessed with fears of contamination, relying on mouse clicks for social interaction, for living life, and ending up losing health from simple inactivity. There's a nice moral to this modern day proverb and you told it with wit and personality, which is important to make it interesting. I think it's very relevant and a good read. estory
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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I really liked the second story, of the girl Suzie. You created a great caricature there are the person obsessed with fears of contamination, relying on mouse clicks for social interaction, for living life, and ending up losing health from simple inactivity. There's a nice moral to this modern day proverb and you told it with wit and personality, which is important to make it interesting. I think it's very relevant and a good read. estory
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for your encouraging review
