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Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "A Happenstance Conclusion"
A series of like minded poems

55 total reviews 
Comment from Mackenzie Schmidt
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your poem A Happenstance Conclusion was very well written I'm having a hard time writing this review because it left me speechless. I don't have any critiques to give it was amazing.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
    Thank you very much, Mackenzie, for this honest and very kind review. Your response says all you need to say. That my writing left you speechless, shows me that I have been successful at communicating my thoughts. Thank you for this wonderful review and exceptional rating.
    Take care, Jesse
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Really enjoyed the musicality of your poem with all the internal rhymes. Your second stanza made me think of Heaven. For those who don't believe, they must view my hope for heaven as a kind of "happenstance delusion." And I don't believe in heaven because of any of my own worth but because of faith in Jesus' love which has "lifted my self-esteem."

One place that I stopped was at:
"My ears intently listen
to playful children sing."
Somehow I felt it would be more natural to say "children singing" or "even children's song" as that sound was the object of the verb listen. Could be just me!

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thank you for the kind comments, and sharing your belief system, and for the polite suggestion of a change in a line in this. I will take your suggestion under consideration. Thank you for your honest review and excellent rating.
    Take care, Jesse

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Definitely several cuts above! I like...psyche sliding onto...smear...
Nice bonus rhymes: steer clear fear hear. Nice alliteration: convoluted confession. (Aren't they often so!) Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thank you so much, Liz, for choosing the phrases that spoke to you the most. I appreciate your very kind comments, as well as your favorite rhymes. Thank you for this excellent review and rating.
    Take care, Jesse
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Amazing artwork Jesse that immediately draws the reader into the poem.
Strong rhymes and good use of alliteration throughout. Many possibilities is an excellent explanation for this piece.

Well done
Blessings
Janet


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 Comment Written 03-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thank you, Janet. I am happy the artwork and the line above the title drew you in to read this poem. I appreciate your kind comments. Thank you for your supportive review and excellent rating.
    Take care, Jesse
Comment from Zoe K.
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love the way this poem makes you feel something when you read it. You can understand it from so many perspectives it makes it a treat to read more than once.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thank you, Zoe, for your interpretative review. I am pleased to know that you read it more than once. Your kind comments are appreciated.
    Take care, Jesse