Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Not so ordinary Gold"Musings of an old man -2020
28 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I enjoyed the verse comparing the 'gold spun by the honey bee'.
You've given some great examples of the many different forms of gold and turned it into a lovely free verse read. Nicely done JLR
cheers.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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I enjoyed the verse comparing the 'gold spun by the honey bee'.
You've given some great examples of the many different forms of gold and turned it into a lovely free verse read. Nicely done JLR
cheers.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
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Pearl, thank you.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Well, hallelujah, finally a poem that contains more than just a handful of words. I really liked your theme and you did a good job exploring it. Yes, we're all attracted to gold, but when it's coveted too much, that's when corruption begins. I loved your last stanza - an inspiring way to end this poem. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Well, hallelujah, finally a poem that contains more than just a handful of words. I really liked your theme and you did a good job exploring it. Yes, we're all attracted to gold, but when it's coveted too much, that's when corruption begins. I loved your last stanza - an inspiring way to end this poem. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Luii, thank you for diving into my poem and for your validation.
Comment from Gail Denham
Yes, a good luck at "gold" - it's in unexpected places, not always the precious metal, but the bee's honey, etc. Nicely told. Gold as "savings" is going up in price. But to buy it, you'd never get its value back I think.
Nice poem.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Yes, a good luck at "gold" - it's in unexpected places, not always the precious metal, but the bee's honey, etc. Nicely told. Gold as "savings" is going up in price. But to buy it, you'd never get its value back I think.
Nice poem.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Gail, thank you for your review and validation for my poem.
Comment from A. Willow Bends
I am so incredibly sorry to be out of sixes. This should be showered in gold stars! I am in the free verse club and due to LIFE have literally had no time to write. I review as I can and I am PROMISING myself to write SOMETHING tonight, even if a 5-7-5. THIS piece is astounding. Absolute perfection. Change nothing about it. If anyone recommends changes, ignore them. My favorite verse may be the one about the athlete (my husband does triathlons!), but it is very difficult to even choose a favorite part. The whole bit is my favorite part. I always try to review the 21st poem on the list as that is my husband's birthday and I am so glad I landed on this! PERFECTION.
Wendy
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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I am so incredibly sorry to be out of sixes. This should be showered in gold stars! I am in the free verse club and due to LIFE have literally had no time to write. I review as I can and I am PROMISING myself to write SOMETHING tonight, even if a 5-7-5. THIS piece is astounding. Absolute perfection. Change nothing about it. If anyone recommends changes, ignore them. My favorite verse may be the one about the athlete (my husband does triathlons!), but it is very difficult to even choose a favorite part. The whole bit is my favorite part. I always try to review the 21st poem on the list as that is my husband's birthday and I am so glad I landed on this! PERFECTION.
Wendy
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Wendy, I am humbled by your enthusiastic and validating review. I read your work and do hopeto see your next addition.
Comment from estory
This has a lot of elements that I have explored myself in my own poetry. I like this idea of using a central image, a central subject, in this case gold, and depicting all the various ways this one image can articulate elements of our own life experience. Here we see gold as a symbol of ambition, of the measure of worth, as the wealth of nature, and as a symbol of the purity of the heaven we aspire to. There's a nice personal style to the narrative and the images are colorful and that's very necessary for this kind of poetry. estory
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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This has a lot of elements that I have explored myself in my own poetry. I like this idea of using a central image, a central subject, in this case gold, and depicting all the various ways this one image can articulate elements of our own life experience. Here we see gold as a symbol of ambition, of the measure of worth, as the wealth of nature, and as a symbol of the purity of the heaven we aspire to. There's a nice personal style to the narrative and the images are colorful and that's very necessary for this kind of poetry. estory
Comment Written 04-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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estory, thank you for your review and comments , I always value your thoughts very much.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Jim. The one thing I point out is to pay attention to punctuation. There are many punctuation errors throughout that need correction. Otherwise, this is a well written piece with good word choices and theme. Marilyn
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Hi Jim. The one thing I point out is to pay attention to punctuation. There are many punctuation errors throughout that need correction. Otherwise, this is a well written piece with good word choices and theme. Marilyn
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Marilyn, thank you for informing me about this these knats.
Comment from Bicpen
Excellent ... much enthused with wisdom and pertinence which drives a perfect piece with an exuberant with an enthusiasm to teach and even scowl at the fool such enlightenment portrays a pen and quill of great distinction and yet its brevity seeks to indulge in the spiritual delivering a quiet unseen but yet apparent and loud crescendo of a conclusion.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Excellent ... much enthused with wisdom and pertinence which drives a perfect piece with an exuberant with an enthusiasm to teach and even scowl at the fool such enlightenment portrays a pen and quill of great distinction and yet its brevity seeks to indulge in the spiritual delivering a quiet unseen but yet apparent and loud crescendo of a conclusion.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Bicpen, I truly do appreciate your review, comments and validation on this work.
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anytime ...
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
You encorperated every aspect of gold and it is absolutely done wonderfully in free verse as I cant picture it done any other way. Nice response to the challenge
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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You encorperated every aspect of gold and it is absolutely done wonderfully in free verse as I cant picture it done any other way. Nice response to the challenge
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Barb, thank you for your time to read, review and comment on my free verse submission.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello JLR, this is a lovely, and very interesting entry to the contest. I love all the aspects of gold, real and otherwise, that you cover in this poem. I love the final stanza regarding the golden stairway to Heaven. Regarding the gold medals of athletes - the symbol is more valuable than the gold content which is only 1% LOL! A good and very interesting poem. Regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Hello JLR, this is a lovely, and very interesting entry to the contest. I love all the aspects of gold, real and otherwise, that you cover in this poem. I love the final stanza regarding the golden stairway to Heaven. Regarding the gold medals of athletes - the symbol is more valuable than the gold content which is only 1% LOL! A good and very interesting poem. Regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Hi Dorothy, thank you! Yes it is true that the gold content in the Olympics medal is quite minimal the effort of every athlete to compete at peak performance is invaluable.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse poem about gold and its many forms and meanings spiritually and naturally. Shine things that seems like by old is not always pure gold but mostly fake.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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A very well-written free verse poem about gold and its many forms and meanings spiritually and naturally. Shine things that seems like by old is not always pure gold but mostly fake.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Sandra. thank you!
