Joined at the Hip
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "First Kiss!"Bill and Cathy's hearts beat as one!
21 total reviews
Comment from George Anderson
Great first chapter! It is different from the things i normally read, but I still enjoyed it.
The only suggestion I have is with an inner thought. Using quotes tells me it is said out loud. For example this sentence: "Beautiful smile and starting to bud out as well," I thought as we walked hand-in-hand together.
The inital thing I thought he said that out loud to Cathy, but the tag says it was a thought. This is what you could change it to to lessen confusion:
Beautiful smile and starting to bud out as well, a smile curled on my face as we walked hand-in-hand together.
Again great first chapter!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
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Great first chapter! It is different from the things i normally read, but I still enjoyed it.
The only suggestion I have is with an inner thought. Using quotes tells me it is said out loud. For example this sentence: "Beautiful smile and starting to bud out as well," I thought as we walked hand-in-hand together.
The inital thing I thought he said that out loud to Cathy, but the tag says it was a thought. This is what you could change it to to lessen confusion:
Beautiful smile and starting to bud out as well, a smile curled on my face as we walked hand-in-hand together.
Again great first chapter!
Comment Written 13-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
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A 2nd "Salute," George!
Cathy and I replied to your review of Chapter 2, "The Ol' Wood Bridge" first. Thanks for the kind words and taking the time to follow our work. All of which is an honor. We appreciate your thoughts and shall work toward less confusion in Chapter 3. Best wishes and God Bless. Respectfully with Admiration, Cathy and Bill
Comment from karenina
You two are a dynamic duo...one brings out the best in the other and it shines off the page. Wish I had a boatload...or a spoonful of meaningful suggestions for ya--but hey, if it ain't broke I'm not about to try to fix it! God Bless to you two (hug each other NOW!)---and keep on keepin' on!--Karenina
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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You two are a dynamic duo...one brings out the best in the other and it shines off the page. Wish I had a boatload...or a spoonful of meaningful suggestions for ya--but hey, if it ain't broke I'm not about to try to fix it! God Bless to you two (hug each other NOW!)---and keep on keepin' on!--Karenina
Comment Written 06-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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A "SALUTE," Karenina!
Thanks for the review, kind words and taking the time to read our work. All of which is an honor. Have a great weekend and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Cathy and Bill
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Good weekend to you two as well!--Karenina
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Bill & Cathy, The last sentence "to young too die" The "to and too" should be reversed. "too young to die".
The story is sharp. It's following in the footsteps of the last book only a younger cast and more of a beginning to the whole story. I think you could use this one as maybe a prelude to your other book together.
Enjoyed the story, plot and cast of characters. Good luck my friends.
xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
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Hi Bill & Cathy, The last sentence "to young too die" The "to and too" should be reversed. "too young to die".
The story is sharp. It's following in the footsteps of the last book only a younger cast and more of a beginning to the whole story. I think you could use this one as maybe a prelude to your other book together.
Enjoyed the story, plot and cast of characters. Good luck my friends.
xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 06-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
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A "SALUTE," Kiwi!
Great hearing from you. Thanks for the review, kind words and help. Happy to hear you enjoyed the story, plot and cast of characters. Thanks again for the "Good luck wish", our friend. Best wishes and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Cathy and Bill
Comment from Rikki66
It reminds me of my first kiss, but we were both eight. On a small knoll, at Hakata Air Base in Japan, A scrub pine with a faerie hole we were discussing if the faerie was really there. Then I ask her to meet me at the movie on Saturday, she said yes, said I was her boyfriend, then she kissed me. As much as two eight-year-olds knew how to kiss.
RikkiLXVI
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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It reminds me of my first kiss, but we were both eight. On a small knoll, at Hakata Air Base in Japan, A scrub pine with a faerie hole we were discussing if the faerie was really there. Then I ask her to meet me at the movie on Saturday, she said yes, said I was her boyfriend, then she kissed me. As much as two eight-year-olds knew how to kiss.
RikkiLXVI
Comment Written 06-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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A "SALUTE," Rikki!
Thanks for the review, kind words and taking time to read our work. All of which is an honor. Have a great weekend and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Cathy and Bill
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You are welcome,
Rikki
Comment from Janilou
A new book with a cliff-hanger ending to boot! EEEK! I do not care for snakes. My brother was bitten a brown snake when he was a kid, but luckily for him, it glanced off (barely scratched the skin) and didn't cause any injury.
Wonderful story. Can't wait to read on.
Jan
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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A new book with a cliff-hanger ending to boot! EEEK! I do not care for snakes. My brother was bitten a brown snake when he was a kid, but luckily for him, it glanced off (barely scratched the skin) and didn't cause any injury.
Wonderful story. Can't wait to read on.
Jan
Comment Written 06-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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A "SALUTE," Janilou!
Thanks for the "Exceptional" review, kind words and taking the time to read our work. All of which is an honor. Have a great weekend and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Cathy and Bill
Comment from Debbie Pope
I bet this is not the first six star rating that you have received for this piece, Bill. Your narrative style is so engaging, and I love the setting and plot. Robert Zimmerman is working on stories about growing up poor in Appalachia. Now I get coming of age stories in the Smokies. I love these kind of things. Good luck with your book.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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I bet this is not the first six star rating that you have received for this piece, Bill. Your narrative style is so engaging, and I love the setting and plot. Robert Zimmerman is working on stories about growing up poor in Appalachia. Now I get coming of age stories in the Smokies. I love these kind of things. Good luck with your book.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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A "SALUTE," Debbie!
Meeting you is an honor. Thanks for the "Exceptional" review, kind words and taking the time to read our work. FYI, Cathy and I have a book "Love Long Distance" posted that you might enjoy. Where did you attend Law School? Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Cathy and Bill
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I went to Cumberland in Birmingham.
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Another "SALUTE!"
Comment from GWHARGIS
I like your nostalgic love story. One suggestion is to show more of what is happening, not just narrate. Your characters are cute and I like how Bill thinks, mimicking his grandfather, who sounds like a card. Great beginning and looking forward to more. Gretchen
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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I like your nostalgic love story. One suggestion is to show more of what is happening, not just narrate. Your characters are cute and I like how Bill thinks, mimicking his grandfather, who sounds like a card. Great beginning and looking forward to more. Gretchen
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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A "SALUTE," Gretchen!
It's an honor meeting you. Thanks for the review, kind words and taking the time to read our work. FYI, Cathy and I have a book "Love Long Distance" posted that you might enjoy. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Cathy and Bill
Comment from Barbaraj1
I enjoyed reading your story. I will now have to wait until the next chapter to find out more about the rattlesnake. Your story definitely has a country fill.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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I enjoyed reading your story. I will now have to wait until the next chapter to find out more about the rattlesnake. Your story definitely has a country fill.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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A "SALUTE," Barbara!
Thanks for the review, kind words and taking the time to read our work. All of which is an honor. FYI, Cathy and I have a book "Love Long Distance" posted that you might enjoy. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Cathy and Bill
Comment from Shirley McLain
I liked reading this first chapter. I'm now anxiously waiting for Chapter 2 to find out about Bill. You did a great job and it looks perfect to me. Shirley
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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I liked reading this first chapter. I'm now anxiously waiting for Chapter 2 to find out about Bill. You did a great job and it looks perfect to me. Shirley
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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A "SALUTE," Shirley!
It's great hearing from you again. Thanks for the review, kind words and taking the time to read our work. All of which is an honor. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Cathy and Bill
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Cathy & Bill,
It's a fabulous piece of Romance Fiction starting with PLEASANT 'first kiss' and ending with UNPLESANT rattlesnake's 'hiss +'.
Impressive, and perfectly matching the theme phraseology.
Smooth, spontaneous, and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end which leads to another new beginning.
Interesting!
Superb!!
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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Hello Cathy & Bill,
It's a fabulous piece of Romance Fiction starting with PLEASANT 'first kiss' and ending with UNPLESANT rattlesnake's 'hiss +'.
Impressive, and perfectly matching the theme phraseology.
Smooth, spontaneous, and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end which leads to another new beginning.
Interesting!
Superb!!
Comment Written 05-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2020
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A "SALUTE," RP!
Thanks for the "Exceptional" review, kind words and taking the time to read our work. All of which is an honor. Great hearing from you, our dear friend. Best wishes for an awesome weekend and God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Cathy and Bill
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Cathy & Bill, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
