Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Wonder!"Experiences of living
132 total reviews
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
This? I love! This should be on my profile...lol I was just discussing this point today and I can totally relate. Great job on the imagery and flow. Very nice work!
  |
This? I love! This should be on my profile...lol I was just discussing this point today and I can totally relate. Great job on the imagery and flow. Very nice work!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from mariejames
Geeze, you never quit. Another good piece of work here. I really like the title. Are you on a roll or something? lol. Thanks for sharing.
|
Geeze, you never quit. Another good piece of work here. I really like the title. Are you on a roll or something? lol. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from greeneyes
You stuck true to the form of a Tanka
your poem flows well and is very thought provoking
I didnt notice any SPAG errors--great job!
thank you for sharing this!
:)
|
You stuck true to the form of a Tanka
your poem flows well and is very thought provoking
I didnt notice any SPAG errors--great job!
thank you for sharing this!
:)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from Gert sherwood
Dear ALCREATOR,
Interesting I believe this is the first time I've read a Tanka Poem . I believe what you are saying," don't jeer or point at other poet's work. Makes one ponder for sure.
gert
|
Dear ALCREATOR,
Interesting I believe this is the first time I've read a Tanka Poem . I believe what you are saying," don't jeer or point at other poet's work. Makes one ponder for sure.
gert
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from KING SLATON
Although this is not my favorite form of poetry, you appear to maintain within the structured format required for this style of poetry as you should.
|
Although this is not my favorite form of poetry, you appear to maintain within the structured format required for this style of poetry as you should.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from Ballarina
I think it needs a little smoothing. It's a little jittery for the reader a kind of bumby ride. On that note it does what you are complaining about. I just thought it would benefit from a softer sound by adding longer syllables here and there.
 |
I think it needs a little smoothing. It's a little jittery for the reader a kind of bumby ride. On that note it does what you are complaining about. I just thought it would benefit from a softer sound by adding longer syllables here and there.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from bappjf
If you ever find a way to please everyone all the time -- I certainly hope you share it with the rest of us! First, I believe, you need to write for yourself -- and then take everyone's opinions for what they are -- opinions.
|
If you ever find a way to please everyone all the time -- I certainly hope you share it with the rest of us! First, I believe, you need to write for yourself -- and then take everyone's opinions for what they are -- opinions.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from Holle
Only a 4 because there is a pattern that needs cleaned up a little...consider the suggestions below and I think it would be perfect within that form for print! :-)
If advanced
You warn at it
If faster
You caution at it
If open hearted
You look at it
If written simply
You jeer at it
If hard or complex
You point at it
|
Only a 4 because there is a pattern that needs cleaned up a little...consider the suggestions below and I think it would be perfect within that form for print! :-)
If advanced
You warn at it
If faster
You caution at it
If open hearted
You look at it
If written simply
You jeer at it
If hard or complex
You point at it
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from luna
You're getting alot of awards for your poetry. This was another well-written tanka! I can't wait to try my hand at one. It was my pleasure, as always, to read and review your work. Keep writing and I'll keep reading!
Jenny *smile*
|
You're getting alot of awards for your poetry. This was another well-written tanka! I can't wait to try my hand at one. It was my pleasure, as always, to read and review your work. Keep writing and I'll keep reading!
Jenny *smile*
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from Wyld Mumsy
Aha! Very good message!
Just two things that bothered me (sorry)
1.) Ending with "at" twice
2.) The third line had six syllables and should've been five. Close! :)
|
Aha! Very good message!
Just two things that bothered me (sorry)
1.) Ending with "at" twice
2.) The third line had six syllables and should've been five. Close! :)
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
