Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Wonder!"Experiences of living
132 total reviews
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Definitely a plus "A" to be living in a life where its either damned if you do and damned if you don't. You capture this well in your chapter here. Cheers.
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Definitely a plus "A" to be living in a life where its either damned if you do and damned if you don't. You capture this well in your chapter here. Cheers.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
Comment from Harlequin
Very good! Strong imagery in this thought-provoking short poem. Your unique ways of presenting your thoughts made reading it an interesting experience.
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Very good! Strong imagery in this thought-provoking short poem. Your unique ways of presenting your thoughts made reading it an interesting experience.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2013
Comment from Bill Schott
I can see the writhing reaction to criticism that seems to surround all of us. I sometimes catch myself correcting the behavior of my son who has begun doing the opposite of what I told him was wrong earlier. There's no pleasing me.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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I can see the writhing reaction to criticism that seems to surround all of us. I sometimes catch myself correcting the behavior of my son who has begun doing the opposite of what I told him was wrong earlier. There's no pleasing me.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for good professional review
Comment from JoAnna Lee
short and sweet... this could be me! I liked this poem... BRAVO! I have felt most of these thoughts, especially lately. A bit of the "danged if you do and danged if you don't" Thank-you...
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short and sweet... this could be me! I liked this poem... BRAVO! I have felt most of these thoughts, especially lately. A bit of the "danged if you do and danged if you don't" Thank-you...
Comment Written 27-Jun-2006
Comment from pbearse
This is the best poem I have read all day..25 words, perfect,,and with a message in it too. Now I have to figure out what to say about it...good, good, good..The review is now longer than the poem
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This is the best poem I have read all day..25 words, perfect,,and with a message in it too. Now I have to figure out what to say about it...good, good, good..The review is now longer than the poem
Comment Written 27-Jun-2006
Comment from lovebear641
I advance, you warn
If faster, you too caution
Open heart, look at
If I write simply, you jeer
If hard or complex point
you always gonn find this no matter what ya do or try,,tx for letting me read
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I advance, you warn
If faster, you too caution
Open heart, look at
If I write simply, you jeer
If hard or complex point
you always gonn find this no matter what ya do or try,,tx for letting me read
Comment Written 27-Jun-2006
Comment from BellasTales
Hi Al,
Interesting Tanka-by the way I do love this form. You did well keeping within the guidelines, but more importantly it moved well in thought.
Good work
Bella
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Hi Al,
Interesting Tanka-by the way I do love this form. You did well keeping within the guidelines, but more importantly it moved well in thought.
Good work
Bella
Comment Written 27-Jun-2006
Comment from Writer for Hire
This was quite the poem, and I don't normally like free verse. I saw only one problem, and that was it was a little bit hard on the eyes. If you bold the text, it will easily become reader to read. Without the bold, it's just a bit of trouble to read.
I liked this poem quite a bit, because of your language. You crammed a lot into those 4 lines, and it was mostly because of your good choice of language.
Also, due to your language, you conveyed a lot of feelings that drew on my emotions quite a bit. I felt as though I was in your position, or whomever's position you wrote the story in. You did an excellent job on that part.
I would recommend this poem to someone else, good job.
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This was quite the poem, and I don't normally like free verse. I saw only one problem, and that was it was a little bit hard on the eyes. If you bold the text, it will easily become reader to read. Without the bold, it's just a bit of trouble to read.
I liked this poem quite a bit, because of your language. You crammed a lot into those 4 lines, and it was mostly because of your good choice of language.
Also, due to your language, you conveyed a lot of feelings that drew on my emotions quite a bit. I felt as though I was in your position, or whomever's position you wrote the story in. You did an excellent job on that part.
I would recommend this poem to someone else, good job.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2006
Comment from BeautysMessenger
The style of this work has some charm to it. If the reader forgives what appears to be broken English, then the reward of meaning lies underneath in a powerful way. I think that there would be clearer communication if some of the words were more in line with the accepted rules of basic English grammar, ie singular nouns require singular verbs, action verbs require a subject, prepositions have objects. One example:
If write simply, you jeer at
If hard or complex, point at would be more grammatically correct written like this:
If I write simply, you jeer
If hard or complex, you point still fits the tanka form but is grammatically correct, fits with the fact that the writer started the poem with the first person singular pronoun, and retains the intended meaning.
I congratulate the writer's humility, a quality of character he seems to believe in judging from his other poems, if he is willing to revise for clarity and correct English grammar despite the great ratings.
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The style of this work has some charm to it. If the reader forgives what appears to be broken English, then the reward of meaning lies underneath in a powerful way. I think that there would be clearer communication if some of the words were more in line with the accepted rules of basic English grammar, ie singular nouns require singular verbs, action verbs require a subject, prepositions have objects. One example:
If write simply, you jeer at
If hard or complex, point at would be more grammatically correct written like this:
If I write simply, you jeer
If hard or complex, you point still fits the tanka form but is grammatically correct, fits with the fact that the writer started the poem with the first person singular pronoun, and retains the intended meaning.
I congratulate the writer's humility, a quality of character he seems to believe in judging from his other poems, if he is willing to revise for clarity and correct English grammar despite the great ratings.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2006
Comment from starkat
I've heard it said you can't please all the people all the time, but you should at least try to please some of the people some of the time. I've read this Tanka several times and do like it's complexity and deeper meanings. At first I thought it was a fencing match between writer and reader. There is a relationship and an observation. Do we always jeer at a piece that's written simply, or point at stuff that's complex? Stuff to contemplate. Not a simple piece to digest. Thanks for making me think. Best of luck in trying to satisfy everyone always. Cheers.
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I've heard it said you can't please all the people all the time, but you should at least try to please some of the people some of the time. I've read this Tanka several times and do like it's complexity and deeper meanings. At first I thought it was a fencing match between writer and reader. There is a relationship and an observation. Do we always jeer at a piece that's written simply, or point at stuff that's complex? Stuff to contemplate. Not a simple piece to digest. Thanks for making me think. Best of luck in trying to satisfy everyone always. Cheers.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2006
