Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Wonder!"Experiences of living
132 total reviews
Comment from L K Pinaire
This was okay, but I really didn't grab me. The imagery went over my head. The flow was nice. Best of luck to you.****************************************************
Good writing,
Larry
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This was okay, but I really didn't grab me. The imagery went over my head. The flow was nice. Best of luck to you.****************************************************
Good writing,
Larry
Comment Written 29-Mar-2006
Comment from Montyjuke
I like anything that can get people to think and yes this little number made me think, excellent.
p.s. I like your courage at placing this small poem up on this site, I written something similar but did not have your courage maybe I will now, Thanks.
Good Fortune and Vidi Well
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I like anything that can get people to think and yes this little number made me think, excellent.
p.s. I like your courage at placing this small poem up on this site, I written something similar but did not have your courage maybe I will now, Thanks.
Good Fortune and Vidi Well
Comment Written 29-Mar-2006
Comment from Zenbud
I liked this - its one of your more approachable pieces. The only 'nit' being the word caution, maybe cautious would be a better choice for the tense . . . enjoyed it! Zen
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I liked this - its one of your more approachable pieces. The only 'nit' being the word caution, maybe cautious would be a better choice for the tense . . . enjoyed it! Zen
Comment Written 29-Mar-2006
Comment from Mrs Jones
"I advance, you warn 5
If faster, you too caution 7
Open heart, you look at 6
If write simply, you jeer at 7
If hard or complex, point at" 7
I kinda got stuck on the last 2 lines. Line 3 is 6 syllables.
Cheers
Rose
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"I advance, you warn 5
If faster, you too caution 7
Open heart, you look at 6
If write simply, you jeer at 7
If hard or complex, point at" 7
I kinda got stuck on the last 2 lines. Line 3 is 6 syllables.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 29-Mar-2006
Comment from Margokatt
oh. .. very nice little jab here AC. . .what truth beholden by your pen is conveyed within the four little lines you styled in red. . .oooooh someone's venting, i dare say. good job. [though, i am not a fan of the short and sweet. . ironically (spelling intentional I am not a fan of haiku's, go figure.]
mk
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oh. .. very nice little jab here AC. . .what truth beholden by your pen is conveyed within the four little lines you styled in red. . .oooooh someone's venting, i dare say. good job. [though, i am not a fan of the short and sweet. . ironically (spelling intentional I am not a fan of haiku's, go figure.]
mk
Comment Written 29-Mar-2006
Comment from timesmistress
There are six syllables in line three. How about "wide" or "free" or "raw?"
I think you've done a great job of conveying the message withing the confines of the TANKA. The poem speaks to the reader and I don't know anybody who would disagree with your message.
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There are six syllables in line three. How about "wide" or "free" or "raw?"
I think you've done a great job of conveying the message withing the confines of the TANKA. The poem speaks to the reader and I don't know anybody who would disagree with your message.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2006
Comment from ShadowKatmandu
It's all your fault
Or perhaps it's his
Doesn't really matter
It's none of my biz
I like this little bit
With its message so clear
Must take responsibility
No matter our fear. :)
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It's all your fault
Or perhaps it's his
Doesn't really matter
It's none of my biz
I like this little bit
With its message so clear
Must take responsibility
No matter our fear. :)
Comment Written 29-Mar-2006
Comment from VICTIMEYES
the writer of this small story of sorts just explains i think the fact that he just can't seem to come to terms with someone, can't get close. i come close-you say step back, if i move fast-you say take it slow. seems as though he just can't progress.
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the writer of this small story of sorts just explains i think the fact that he just can't seem to come to terms with someone, can't get close. i come close-you say step back, if i move fast-you say take it slow. seems as though he just can't progress.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
Comment from trailblazer101
If write simply, you jeer at
If hard or complex, point at
Hard to please everyone. Somtimes the most inane piece gets the priase.
I think your footnote summed it well.
Few words but a clear message.
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If write simply, you jeer at
If hard or complex, point at
Hard to please everyone. Somtimes the most inane piece gets the priase.
I think your footnote summed it well.
Few words but a clear message.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
Comment from mslink1
It seems to be saying that you are damned if you do and damned if you don't but that is only my view. I hope I have not over looked a deeper meaning. This one is hard for me to understand, I guess. Afterall, I am not a poet.
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It seems to be saying that you are damned if you do and damned if you don't but that is only my view. I hope I have not over looked a deeper meaning. This one is hard for me to understand, I guess. Afterall, I am not a poet.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2006
