Reviews from

Love Long Distance

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Moonshine and Muscadine Wine "
A Wartime Romance

23 total reviews 
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Wow! You certainly do keep it coming! I love the sly banter re rolling in the hay...she's the demanding sort but I can handle it, doc...nine months after the last time I had my way with her...hot date in the barn coming up. Re finer than a frog's hair split three ways: did you come up with that? Funny and poignant--nice job on both counts. Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
    Hi Liz! Sorry for the delay in responding. It's been crazy busy, and we've been writing (4 books currently in the works)! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. So glad you enjoyed it. We love your awesome comments! We've since published Chapter 21 and Chapter 22 has just been written and is coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful upcoming weekend. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Excellent
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Commando and Tootie: great storytelling of the past family times. I know people loved their moonshine. One can buy this in the liquor store in different flavors. I like your southr'n charrrm, fixin' to do, and you al' slang. I appreciate you sharing your talent with us. I'll be flying in more ofter. It's cold up here in Minnesota. We have casseroles, jello salads, church sandwiches, and egg coffee. Each area is unique. flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2020
    Hi Nancy! So happy you stopped by to read and review Chapter 20 of Love Long Distance. Thank you! Glad you liked the southr'n charm. Thank you also for sharing about what it's like in Minnesota. Brrr... Chapter 21 has been posted and Chapter 22 is in the works and coming soon. We hope you continue to follow along. Wishing you all the best. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Excellent
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Hello Tootie. You got grandpa's medical results back and as long as he minds his manners he's going to do just fine. The baby is coming right along and will be born soon. These are good things.

They are evidently too good so now bill got thrown into the crick. The poor family just can't seem to get a break.

I'm still reading.

Robert

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
    Hi Robert, Sorry for the delay. Thank you for reading and reviewing this chapter. As we've said before, we both are very appreciative of your continued suport. Glad you are still reading. Yes, the family sure does get into a lot of situations! Chapter 22 is now in the works and coming soon. Wishing you all the best. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Tpa
Excellent
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I continue enjoying your saga and your lighthearted characters. I also wait for your next chapter because of the conflicts you etched out in previous chapters

I also noticed dialogue with Cathy&Bill talking in hallway Should OF C0URSE be in quotations followed by Bill's thoughts As always good writing.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
    Hi Tpa, We really appreciate you following along. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Thank you also for the edit. We're so happy you are enjoying this novel. Chapter 21 has been posted, and Chapter 22 is in the works. Wishing you a great week. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi to both of you. Another well written chapter and the story continues nicely. Grandpa has come home and he's in high spirits, but won't be allowed anywhere near an alcoholic drink. But now a car accident is happening. I'll have to wait and see what that is about. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Hi Ulla! Again, we really appreciate your continued support. Glad you found this chapter well written. Thanks for reading and reviewing it. Chapter 21 has been posted, and Chapter 22 will be coming soon! Wishing you a great week. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Bravo! You've written this piece so beautifully and executed your thoughts in a witty way. I completely enjoyed reading it and tried to get the meanings that you conveyed. I hope you'll go miles in this contest. Keep it up and best of luck.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Hi Aaquib, Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Your support and comments are greatly appreciated. Chapter 21 has recently been posted, and Chapter 22 is coming soon. Wishing you all the best. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This chapter is AWESOME, Cathy and Bill. Each chapter gets better and better from the last, but retains the 'feel' of the theme throughout. There's no doubt in readers' minds about the focus, the characters, and how well readers know it will be presented.

The dialogue, a central part, of the story is natural and always fun to read or written in a way that sets the mood. The Tennessee talk, such as the 'frog hair split three ways,' was hilarious--but in keeping with the dialect Bill speaks. The same is true about Grandpa's comment about the hospital food and his wanting 'Tennessee Country Pride Sausage' along with the other sides of a true country breakfast that he has fond memories of.

The dialogue of the characters in the hospital makes readers (me) feel as I'm right there listening. Not only does it sound real, but it gives more insight into each character. Grandpa's comment about the names Grandma has called him shows how they are comfortable with each other and have a deep, true love for each other.

The presenting Grandpa with the special gift of that rifle was well-expressed and touching. His response shows how touched he was. I could easily see him standing proud with the rifle, giving a salute, and the falling tears of not only gratitude but of deep love and respect for family and country.

The train station section emphasizes Cathy's and Bill's love and commitment to each other. Readers see a softer side of Bill and Cathy's unwavering support of him, both as 'her man' and how dedicated Bill is to his country and service.

The last two paragraphs lead up to the cliff hanger well. One minute, readers see the poignant parting of Bill and Cathy. Then soon after the train sets out, the unexpected derailing and fire jumps at readers. That is a great way to entice readers to return for the next chapter.

As always, the research andvideos add so much to anchor the references to them in the story. It is evident that much time was spent before including each.
I look forward to the next chapter. Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Jan.




 Comment Written 31-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
    Hi Jan! Thank you SO MUCH for the AWESOME six star rating and review! We both "SALUTE" you! Your comments here are detailed and thorough. Thank you, also, for pointing out the research and videos. Your continued support and help means so much to us. God bless you! Chapter 21 is now posted, and Chapter 22 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you all the best, dear friend. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Love and Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from rwilliam
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Love the title for this chapter!

Oh my, now I gotta hide all that Moonshine and Muscadine wine that I make so Grandma don't find it!" ~ I think you meant: 'made' not make.

Cathy was finding it hard to be humorous. She knew Grandpa had a bad liver, so she started crying and hurried out of the room.~ Try: Cathy found it hard to be humorous. She knew Grandpa had a bad liver. She hurried from the room, crying.

"Darlin', where've you been? I've been looking all over for you," Bill called as Cathy was walking back to the hospital room.~ Try:...as Cathy 'walked' back to the hospital room.

My bladder can only hold for so long with our baby in me."--The end of this makes it sound cheesy, not real. I'd remove the 'in me' part. Just a thought.

Although Grandpa was joking around, like he always does, I knew he was probably worried inside and so was Grandma.~ Remove the word 'inside'. Being worried implies that and it's not a necessary word.

After kissing Cathy deeply, I held her close to me, with her head snuggled into my chest.~Try: Kissing Cathy, deeply, I held her close. Her head snuggled into my chest.

I say, that he'd let you go home first thing tomorrow morning. Therefore, do you promise me you'll do so?"~~ You seem to write Grandpa and ma, with a southern slang but then throw in words like 'therefore' and it doesn't flow well. I 'd remove that word and try to keep the language cohesive.

Golly Geez! I promise you . . . and soon enough, remember, we got a hot date in the barn!"~ I noticed you use exclamation marks to emphasize words. Maybe try what I do. Put the word in italics instead.

After eating the breakfast he'd been wanting, Cathy and I presented our hero with a Winchester lever-action rifle like the one he used in the trenches of WWI.~ This needs work. Um Try:~ After breakfast, Grandpa wanted Cathy and I to present our hero with a Winchester, lever-action rifle. It was like the one he'd used in the trenches of WWI.

Nice chapter. I look forward to reading the next one.


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
    Hi Rebecca! Sorry it took so long to respond. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. We are both happy you are following along. Thank you, also, for your editing suggestions. So glad you enjoyed the read. We currently have Chapter 21 featured, and Chapter 22 is being worked on now. It will be posted soon. Wishing you a wonderful week ahead. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
Comment from Sasha
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is another terrific chapter to this book. I thoroughly enjoyed the bouncing back and forth with humor mixed with the bad news. As always, you have won an other 6 stars with your detailed and vivid descriptions of the fascinating characters in this awesome story. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
    Greetings, Sasha! Thank you SO MUCH for the AWESOME six star rating and review. We both give you a big "SALUTE!" and thank you once more for your continued support. So glad you are enjoying these characters (and that they are!), along with this story. Chapter 21 is now up, and Chapter 22 is in the works. HURRAH! Wishing you all the best. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy
reply by Sasha on 09-Feb-2020
    You are both welcome.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I hope the ending will be alright. Loud noise, possibly a crash to read about in the next chapter...I sure like the suspense and the cliff hanging of each chapter. You have us in deep thought always. Good reading!

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
    Hi Rosemary, Thank you for reading and reviewing this chapter. As we've said before, your support means so much to both of us! So glad you are enjoying the cliff hangers. By now (sorry for the delay), you know what has happened in Chapter 21. But...yet, another catastrophe . . . Shee! Stayed tuned--Chapter 22 is in the works and coming soon! Wishing you all the best. God Bless.
    Respectfully with Admiration,
    Bill & Cathy