The Book of Retirement
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Summer Bird"Short story about a fictive retirement
8 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
After five years? It sounds like a reasonable plan to be a "reverse snowbird" or I don't know what you'd call it. But it sounds like a wonderful plan to be in Romania part of the time.
"Yeah sure like those money" (can't use "those" with money which isn't a countable noun. )
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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After five years? It sounds like a reasonable plan to be a "reverse snowbird" or I don't know what you'd call it. But it sounds like a wonderful plan to be in Romania part of the time.
"Yeah sure like those money" (can't use "those" with money which isn't a countable noun. )
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much Helen for pointing this out:)
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Iza. This is another funny tory. I like your stories because they are clever and easy to read. That is a gift. Anyone can write stories, but not everyone can write stories others want to read. I like reading yours.
Robert
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Hello Iza. This is another funny tory. I like your stories because they are clever and easy to read. That is a gift. Anyone can write stories, but not everyone can write stories others want to read. I like reading yours.
Robert
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much Mr. Robert, this means a lot to me because I am always afraid that people don't have the patience to catch that humor.
Comment from Tami Urbanek
I can certainly understand wanting to leave a cold climate during the winter. Sometimes I wish I had a summer home somewhere to escape to for a couple of months from the Colorado winter/early spring. I can 'feel' your desire to visit Romania again and be in the area you seem to love.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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I can certainly understand wanting to leave a cold climate during the winter. Sometimes I wish I had a summer home somewhere to escape to for a couple of months from the Colorado winter/early spring. I can 'feel' your desire to visit Romania again and be in the area you seem to love.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much Tami
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This story mimics my personal situation concerning the six month rule if I am to receive my pension. So I can identify and sympathize with your situation. Some days I just say to myself "hell, it's not worth it" But then I'm not sure I can afford just to drop the pension, and anyway it's not fair after over thirty years of work. I found the tone of the story attractive, and you don't really notice the grammar problems, but they obviously bother you, so here goes:
SPAGs:
this not because I don't want,>this is not because I don't want to,
six months>six months a year
even you want to retire>even if you want to retire
what, is part >what, it is part
like those money is multiplying by themselves!>like that money is multiplying by itself!
be opposite>be the opposite
are leaving Canada> leave Canada
Tired now, I'll stop here for tonight maybe someone else will carry on with the SPAGs, or if you want you can contact me directly when you've dealt with these thoughts.
Bye for now
Katherine
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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This story mimics my personal situation concerning the six month rule if I am to receive my pension. So I can identify and sympathize with your situation. Some days I just say to myself "hell, it's not worth it" But then I'm not sure I can afford just to drop the pension, and anyway it's not fair after over thirty years of work. I found the tone of the story attractive, and you don't really notice the grammar problems, but they obviously bother you, so here goes:
SPAGs:
this not because I don't want,>this is not because I don't want to,
six months>six months a year
even you want to retire>even if you want to retire
what, is part >what, it is part
like those money is multiplying by themselves!>like that money is multiplying by itself!
be opposite>be the opposite
are leaving Canada> leave Canada
Tired now, I'll stop here for tonight maybe someone else will carry on with the SPAGs, or if you want you can contact me directly when you've dealt with these thoughts.
Bye for now
Katherine
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much Katherine, for catching up my grammar errors. I do apologize for this, I know my English is horrible, I let myself be carried away by the story and put the blinds on the errors:(
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Has someone else covered the other paragraphs for you in terms of grammar problems?
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Not really😊
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do you want me to carry on going through it for SPAGs this weekend? (especially Sunday, as Saturday I have my French writing club in the morning, then play scrabble in the afternoon, by which time my brain is a bit fried)
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Yes please if you have the time , I really appreciate the corrections:) You are the best
Comment from JLR
What fine writing about the struggles of yearning for the days of retirement. The obstacles that can tend to short circuit the best of plans. Have a heart in knowing that retirement will come and you can better prepare for it while you are younger make the plan what it is that you most want to do with all the time you will suddenly have to fill.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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What fine writing about the struggles of yearning for the days of retirement. The obstacles that can tend to short circuit the best of plans. Have a heart in knowing that retirement will come and you can better prepare for it while you are younger make the plan what it is that you most want to do with all the time you will suddenly have to fill.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thank you
Comment from royowen
Elaine and I had a fair bit of money once, but as they say, "a fool and his money are soon parted." Dolly, here on fanstory spends England's winters in the Canary Islands, warmer than England at that time year. You might have to revise this article Iza. But well done, blessings, Roy
Typo God(,) is there an : 2 : (again, to my mind comes my husband's belief. 3 the lottery and you're (save) for...safe? 4: if a pipe burst(s)...
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Elaine and I had a fair bit of money once, but as they say, "a fool and his money are soon parted." Dolly, here on fanstory spends England's winters in the Canary Islands, warmer than England at that time year. You might have to revise this article Iza. But well done, blessings, Roy
Typo God(,) is there an : 2 : (again, to my mind comes my husband's belief. 3 the lottery and you're (save) for...safe? 4: if a pipe burst(s)...
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much for the review and the corrections, as always I really appreciate your honest feedback
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My pleasure
Comment from Diana L Crawford
How cute is the commentary about your desires for retirement! I'm sure you do miss your home country! it sounds delicious basking in the beauty of the black sea or being in the mountains. I thought it was cold here, but you have me beat by miles being up in Canada! haha! thanks for sharing this humorous yet meaningful perspective. xoxo
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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How cute is the commentary about your desires for retirement! I'm sure you do miss your home country! it sounds delicious basking in the beauty of the black sea or being in the mountains. I thought it was cold here, but you have me beat by miles being up in Canada! haha! thanks for sharing this humorous yet meaningful perspective. xoxo
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thank you my friend, and right now is snowing so we go back to winter in full blast.
Comment from Bill Schott
This chapter of the The of Retirement, Summer Bird, has a funny take on those who can afford to winter south and return. The real life aspects of being gone when bad things happen to your property are not always considered. The slant of the narration that reflects the ESL is charming.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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This chapter of the The of Retirement, Summer Bird, has a funny take on those who can afford to winter south and return. The real life aspects of being gone when bad things happen to your property are not always considered. The slant of the narration that reflects the ESL is charming.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thank you Mr. Bill
