These Eyes of Mine
A rhymed poem34 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
So glad your eyes are improving, my friend. This is an expressive free verse with a random rhyme scheme. I love the unique rhymes and alliteration. Good flow too.
Favorite lines:
Creative ideas were seen
through my psyche's senses, keen
on promoting a vivid dream.
I also enjoyed reading the alliteraiton and consonance aloud in these lines:
a virtual view of mine--
a special spectacular kind
that enables me to be able to see
at my fingertips' tactile accuracy.
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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So glad your eyes are improving, my friend. This is an expressive free verse with a random rhyme scheme. I love the unique rhymes and alliteration. Good flow too.
Favorite lines:
Creative ideas were seen
through my psyche's senses, keen
on promoting a vivid dream.
I also enjoyed reading the alliteraiton and consonance aloud in these lines:
a virtual view of mine--
a special spectacular kind
that enables me to be able to see
at my fingertips' tactile accuracy.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 03-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for your positive review. I appreciate you choosing the parts you enjoyed most. I, also felt, it was one to read aloud. Your in-depth review helps me to see what works and stands out to readers. Thank you for your kind comments, and for the excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
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:-))))
Comment from karenina
Very compelling read! I think all of us can relate to how we would feel if our vision were failing...but you capture with an eloquent and pensive undertone what you are grieving from this diminishing of your eyesight and ALSO how it has caused you to treasure that which you have seen and can still see. I sincerely hope this is, in fact, a temporary infirmity and you will be back at full speed writing and living life to the fullest! My very best wishes to you!--Karenina
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Very compelling read! I think all of us can relate to how we would feel if our vision were failing...but you capture with an eloquent and pensive undertone what you are grieving from this diminishing of your eyesight and ALSO how it has caused you to treasure that which you have seen and can still see. I sincerely hope this is, in fact, a temporary infirmity and you will be back at full speed writing and living life to the fullest! My very best wishes to you!--Karenina
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much for your insightful and caring review. I am glad that this resonated with you, imaging how you would feel to lose some or all of your vision. I think it is especially tough for us who write and read extensively. I am steadily improving, so I hope it is just a temporary setback. I look forward to many more years of living life to the fullest. Thank you for your kindness and well wishes for me. And, thanks for the thoughtful review and excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
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You take care as well. I wish nothing but the best for you!--Karenina
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Thanks. This is good to hear.
Best wishes, Jesse
Comment from judester
A glimpse into your life. So glad that you are improving. I want to congratulate you for the honorable mention in the reviewing contest. You do present wonderful, genuine reviews, cheers, judester
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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A glimpse into your life. So glad that you are improving. I want to congratulate you for the honorable mention in the reviewing contest. You do present wonderful, genuine reviews, cheers, judester
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your kind comments. It feels great to have my eyesight improving, and, to receive an honorable mention in the reviewing contest. Thanks for your caring and the excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from estory
Great echoing effects ring all through this fine little poem, especially in the opening stanzas. There is all this interplay of light and shadow and abstract shapes glimmering and shimmering as well. I really liked how you built up the rhythm in the last stanza and there's a real nice ending to the poem on a fine musical note. It's like all the abstractions coming into focus and you finding your vision again. estory
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Great echoing effects ring all through this fine little poem, especially in the opening stanzas. There is all this interplay of light and shadow and abstract shapes glimmering and shimmering as well. I really liked how you built up the rhythm in the last stanza and there's a real nice ending to the poem on a fine musical note. It's like all the abstractions coming into focus and you finding your vision again. estory
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Wow. I love your audio/musical way of seeing this poem. Echoes and rhythms and musical notes. Your perspective sees the depth of the abstractions coming into focus as I find my vision, though slightly altered, again, Thank you for pointing out the building toward the ending of this. You see this like no other as seen. Thank you so much for this spectacular review that warms my heart. I appreciate the excellent rating, as well.
Take care, Jesse
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I studied literature and poetry for four years at Hofstra, and then spent the last four decades reading and writing, so that's where it comes from estory
Comment from Gail Denham
Sorry to hear about your eyes. Mine are real tired this morning - and one is blurry - I had an infection just below the eyes that plagued me for weeks - finally, thankfully, it's gone. It is hard when the eyes dim. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Sorry to hear about your eyes. Mine are real tired this morning - and one is blurry - I had an infection just below the eyes that plagued me for weeks - finally, thankfully, it's gone. It is hard when the eyes dim. Best wishes.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Thank you, Gail, for relating to my experience of sight growing dim. I am glad your infection is gone now. Eyes have a way of taking their sweet time recovering. Rest your eyes when you need to. That's my best advice for you and for me. Thanks for the excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from susand3022
Oh, Jesse, What happened??? Whatever it is, it doesn't sound good... I am glad to hear that it's getting better, whatever it was, and that you're back on FS. However, know that you wouldn't have had to give it up... My aunt taught blind children when I was young. She even wrote a beginner's book on Braille. I've been looking for it, I really need to go up to Boston. Where there's a will... there's always a way. :)
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Oh, Jesse, What happened??? Whatever it is, it doesn't sound good... I am glad to hear that it's getting better, whatever it was, and that you're back on FS. However, know that you wouldn't have had to give it up... My aunt taught blind children when I was young. She even wrote a beginner's book on Braille. I've been looking for it, I really need to go up to Boston. Where there's a will... there's always a way. :)
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Thanks, Susan, for your encouragement. I am, if need be, prepared to learn Braille, and use other partially sighted materials, which thankfully are available locally through a place called the Lighthouse. I have eye muscle problems, where I see double without the use of thick high powered lenses with multiple prisms in them. Through the stress in my life, my eye doctor told me my eye muscles are having spasms. So, my eyes grow tired quickly and I need to rest them often. I do appreciate the sight I do have and thank you for your advice and supportive caring. Thanks for the excellent rating, too.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Susan Larson
I'm sorry to hear of your visual problems. However, you have remarkable vision for who you are, what you ARE able to do, as you wrote with "Creative ideas were seen through my psyche's senses, keen on promoting a vivid dream. " May your eyes continue to improve and help you fulfill your vivid dream.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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I'm sorry to hear of your visual problems. However, you have remarkable vision for who you are, what you ARE able to do, as you wrote with "Creative ideas were seen through my psyche's senses, keen on promoting a vivid dream. " May your eyes continue to improve and help you fulfill your vivid dream.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Thank you, Susan, for your very kind and thoughtful comments about my vision and my piece. I appreciate you choosing the lines you like the most. Thank you for your wishes that I improve. Thanks, also, for your excellent review and rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Bichon
I really like the describe tactics you have used in this poem, it really flowed well and made for an excellent read. I'm sorry to hear about your sight troubles.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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I really like the describe tactics you have used in this poem, it really flowed well and made for an excellent read. I'm sorry to hear about your sight troubles.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Thank you for reviewing, positively, my poem first. I appreciate your kind comments. It helps to know what you, the reader, like best about this piece. I thank you for your caring, and happy belated birthday. Thanks for the encouraging review and excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Fonda Little
Your rhyme scheme was on point! I also really enjoyed the picture and the colors you used! God bless you In Jesus's Almighty, All Powerful, Divine, Holy, Majestic Name, The Name Above All Names I pray, amen, Amen, AMEN!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Your rhyme scheme was on point! I also really enjoyed the picture and the colors you used! God bless you In Jesus's Almighty, All Powerful, Divine, Holy, Majestic Name, The Name Above All Names I pray, amen, Amen, AMEN!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you enjoyed the presentation part. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and thank you for the excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from rspoet
Hello Jesse,
You've written an excellent poem on sight, whether physical sight or insight.
Few consider the importance of sight until it fades or disappears.
I had a problem last year, AVD, abnormal vitreous detachment, Fortunately, it was not a retinal detachment which would have required immediate surgery.
As it was, my vision was obscured for a number of months, and looking a computer screen accentuated the problem.
I'm glad to hear your eyes are improving. Sometimes, the lost of a sense will stimulate other senses or inner vision. The mind can adapt and find new ways to appreciate the world and transfer that vision to a writer's fingertips.
I enjoyed your rhymes and glimmering imagery, then the final elevation of creativity.
Well done, my friend
Robert
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Hello Jesse,
You've written an excellent poem on sight, whether physical sight or insight.
Few consider the importance of sight until it fades or disappears.
I had a problem last year, AVD, abnormal vitreous detachment, Fortunately, it was not a retinal detachment which would have required immediate surgery.
As it was, my vision was obscured for a number of months, and looking a computer screen accentuated the problem.
I'm glad to hear your eyes are improving. Sometimes, the lost of a sense will stimulate other senses or inner vision. The mind can adapt and find new ways to appreciate the world and transfer that vision to a writer's fingertips.
I enjoyed your rhymes and glimmering imagery, then the final elevation of creativity.
Well done, my friend
Robert
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2020
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Hello Robert.
I am sorry to hear that you had AVD, and had your vision obscured for months. You mentioned the stimulation of other senses--my hearing is way above normal. I can hear traffic or a bird sing, way off in the distance. Sometimes it's not so great. I live in a Senior building complex with five floors. I can hear the neighbors comments much too much, and at times it becomes annoying. I put in a white noise machine, with the sound of waves turning, a week ago, and it has helped make me calmer and feel less infringed upon. Inner vision is another thing I feel getting stronger. I know my vision will fade someday, and I will hopefully be ready when the time comes. Now, I have very strong lenses with many prisms in them to keep me from seeing double. I've had this problem since I was a kid. As I grow older my eyes are growing dimmer. The eye doctor said it was stress that caused my eye muscles to spasm. I am doing all I can to reduce stress, and it is helping.
I am happy you enjoyed the rhymes and imagery, as well as the ending. Thank you for your kindness and kind thoughts, my friend. I always appreciate it when I receive a review from you. Always special.
Take care, Jesse
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I've used white sounds to help with noise pollution, also. My favorite sounds are of nature, but I also love all types of music, like acoustic guitar, piano sonatas, concertos, and songs. Noise cancelling headphones might be helpful, with or without music.
Quiet is an important aspect of
life.
Have a peaceful evening.
Robert
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Thank you for that sound advice, Robert. I, too, have noise cancelling headphones, which I listen to soothing Jazz or other types of music. You are definitely right about the importance of silence. Fortunately, I live right near wooded forests where I go on nature walks and listen to the peaceful sounds of nature. Sometimes, it is so quiet out there. It is marvelous. Getting outside for fresh air and to take walks, is part of my daily routine. I'd go crazy spending all of my time inside where I live. Losing myself in reading a book or on FS is a life saver for me. It is quiet this evening, and it is nice...
Jesse
