St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "St. Louis Chapter 21 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
16 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
Great use of dialogue for character differentiation in this chapter and a good balance between domestic action and the unfolding of the larger plot. Nicely written. No spags that I can see.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Great use of dialogue for character differentiation in this chapter and a good balance between domestic action and the unfolding of the larger plot. Nicely written. No spags that I can see.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from SLMorrical
Another wonderful edition to your story. Mac is not going to give up the case, because of Logan. Besides Mac is not a quitter. I just love how she just takes charge of how the surveillance will be done. Very well done. This is a story that just keeps me intrigued. This flows well and even though I have been gone awhile I can still pick up the story and know what is happening. Well dome.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2020
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Another wonderful edition to your story. Mac is not going to give up the case, because of Logan. Besides Mac is not a quitter. I just love how she just takes charge of how the surveillance will be done. Very well done. This is a story that just keeps me intrigued. This flows well and even though I have been gone awhile I can still pick up the story and know what is happening. Well dome.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from padumachitta
Hello...all our of sixes for prose..a shame, I should have scanned the list and read yours first:-)
It's starting to get a little warm in the room, heating up as it were.
A thoughly enjoyable read on a dark, rainy morning with a snoring dog in the basket beside me...
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2020
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Hello...all our of sixes for prose..a shame, I should have scanned the list and read yours first:-)
It's starting to get a little warm in the room, heating up as it were.
A thoughly enjoyable read on a dark, rainy morning with a snoring dog in the basket beside me...
Comment Written 29-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2020
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Don't worry abou the sixes. I appreciate the kind reiew.
Comment from Writingfundimension
This chapter is very well-paced, Barbara. Though I am just getting into your novel and realize you're pretty well along, I did get a feel for the characters. McKenzie comes across as a sharp lady who knows how to get what she wants. Looking forward to reading more.
Bev
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2020
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This chapter is very well-paced, Barbara. Though I am just getting into your novel and realize you're pretty well along, I did get a feel for the characters. McKenzie comes across as a sharp lady who knows how to get what she wants. Looking forward to reading more.
Bev
Comment Written 28-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, Barbara. Good work!
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Barbara, a terrific Tuesday to you, I hope this review finds you well. Thank you for another entertaining and exciting chapter of your book. The action on both ends is heating up, let's just hope when the action of the investigation ends the other action doesn't. Good job and have a great day!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2020
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Hello Barbara, a terrific Tuesday to you, I hope this review finds you well. Thank you for another entertaining and exciting chapter of your book. The action on both ends is heating up, let's just hope when the action of the investigation ends the other action doesn't. Good job and have a great day!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2020
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Thank you for your continued encouragement.
Comment from Sefiros
Parks sounds like an antagonist. You should describe more of his skills: he's in the drug unit, he knows how they think. He's been hiding in the police as a good guy; he has to be pretty sharp. Make reminders of that instinct -- call up past incidents where he's got the upper hand, describe how deadly he is.
Otherwise good work. I look forward to future chapters.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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Parks sounds like an antagonist. You should describe more of his skills: he's in the drug unit, he knows how they think. He's been hiding in the police as a good guy; he has to be pretty sharp. Make reminders of that instinct -- call up past incidents where he's got the upper hand, describe how deadly he is.
Otherwise good work. I look forward to future chapters.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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All of that information will be coming out all in good time. They aren't possitive he's the bad guy, yet. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Things are hotting up in more ways than one, Barbara. They must get a lead soon, some of those ideas are very good. It also looks like Logan and Mac are getting really close, I'm thinking it won't be long before romance comes into the story. Well done, my friend, another excellent part. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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Things are hotting up in more ways than one, Barbara. They must get a lead soon, some of those ideas are very good. It also looks like Logan and Mac are getting really close, I'm thinking it won't be long before romance comes into the story. Well done, my friend, another excellent part. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from ciliverde
Being new to this story, I was confused at first as to whether MacKenzie was a man or woman (McKenzie searches for his sister's murderer). No big deal, I figured it out pretty quick. The dialogue is good and I can sense some real action coming up soon. Love is brewing as two people search for a murderer! Great plot idea,
Carol
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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Being new to this story, I was confused at first as to whether MacKenzie was a man or woman (McKenzie searches for his sister's murderer). No big deal, I figured it out pretty quick. The dialogue is good and I can sense some real action coming up soon. Love is brewing as two people search for a murderer! Great plot idea,
Carol
Comment Written 26-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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Welcome, and thank you for the kind review.
Comment from susand3022
Hi Barbara, something tells me that MacKenzie doesn't want snacks. Something tells me that she's got something else up her sleeve. I wonder, did she bug her own house? A nanny cam or two would be right up her alley to find out who's bugging the place. lol ;) I do love this story!
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2020
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Hi Barbara, something tells me that MacKenzie doesn't want snacks. Something tells me that she's got something else up her sleeve. I wonder, did she bug her own house? A nanny cam or two would be right up her alley to find out who's bugging the place. lol ;) I do love this story!
Comment Written 26-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2020
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You opened up something, I hadn't even thought of/ Wow, thank you for the ideas and the review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb
Good day or is it evening. What I like about your writing, as I'm reading, I feel that I'm present. The dialogue is so realistic, plus you kept my interest right to the end.
Gert
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2020
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Hello Barb
Good day or is it evening. What I like about your writing, as I'm reading, I feel that I'm present. The dialogue is so realistic, plus you kept my interest right to the end.
Gert
Comment Written 26-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome Barb Gert
