The Book of Retirement
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Les Boyz"Short story about a fictive retirement
4 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a fun story/chapter.
Well written and clear. It's nice to see things from the kitty's perspective.
Well written and well told.
Thank you for sharing this, I look forward to more.
Sharon
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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I think this is a fun story/chapter.
Well written and clear. It's nice to see things from the kitty's perspective.
Well written and well told.
Thank you for sharing this, I look forward to more.
Sharon
Comment Written 26-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much Sharon:) and I just posted a new chapter if you would like to check it out.
Comment from Ricky1024
This chapter entitled..
"Lez Boyz'
Was well written and rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly!
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
|
This chapter entitled..
"Lez Boyz'
Was well written and rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly!
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 25-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review this small kitty dream:)
Comment from royowen
Yes indeed, they say that people in nursing homes, or in any artificial social environment can help with their unconditional no nonsense love can bring a measure of comfort to others, beautifully written Iza, well done, good job, blessings, Roy
Typo : Come over here(,) mum is...2 : But He (send) two angels to...sent?
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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Yes indeed, they say that people in nursing homes, or in any artificial social environment can help with their unconditional no nonsense love can bring a measure of comfort to others, beautifully written Iza, well done, good job, blessings, Roy
Typo : Come over here(,) mum is...2 : But He (send) two angels to...sent?
Comment Written 24-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2020
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As always, thank you so much for reading and reviewing my small stories. Also the grammar corrections are much appreciate.
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My pleasure
Comment from Y. M. Roger
The Meow button - lol! Oh, yes, ours have definitely discovered that one! ;) Fun interaction here! ;) :) Thanx for sharing! ;)
Be sure to check on the consistency of the names...some have an 's' on them, some don't: Dove Doves Sparrow Sparrows Dovie
sand screaming:" Mine and mine, and this is mine too." --> sand, screaming, "Mine and mine, and this is mine, too."
the ocean...hm, come over here, mom --> the ocean...hmm, come over here. Mom
minister I will change --> minister, I would change
provinces they allow mom's and dad's to have --> provinces, they allow moms and dads to have
O.K.! Doves, I don't --> Okay, Dove(s), I don't
babies and I am --> babies, and I am
They come in a moment when I felt that my life ended, but he send me two angels to help me out. --> They came in a moment when I felt my life had ended, but he sent me two angels to help me.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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The Meow button - lol! Oh, yes, ours have definitely discovered that one! ;) Fun interaction here! ;) :) Thanx for sharing! ;)
Be sure to check on the consistency of the names...some have an 's' on them, some don't: Dove Doves Sparrow Sparrows Dovie
sand screaming:" Mine and mine, and this is mine too." --> sand, screaming, "Mine and mine, and this is mine, too."
the ocean...hm, come over here, mom --> the ocean...hmm, come over here. Mom
minister I will change --> minister, I would change
provinces they allow mom's and dad's to have --> provinces, they allow moms and dads to have
O.K.! Doves, I don't --> Okay, Dove(s), I don't
babies and I am --> babies, and I am
They come in a moment when I felt that my life ended, but he send me two angels to help me out. --> They came in a moment when I felt my life had ended, but he sent me two angels to help me.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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I used Doves intentionally to show a bond of affection and love. Thank you so much for the grammar corrections and for your honest opinion about this small piece. I wish you a wonderful week end.
