The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 109 "A Thief in the Night"A Novel
27 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
We begin this chapter with a truly excellent description of traditional Afghani headdress, backed up by Bisto's light-hearted description. I can foresee problems ahead if the police there are capable of carrying out a blood test or worse a DNA test. I think they may be as you remind us of its significance in the final paragraph.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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We begin this chapter with a truly excellent description of traditional Afghani headdress, backed up by Bisto's light-hearted description. I can foresee problems ahead if the police there are capable of carrying out a blood test or worse a DNA test. I think they may be as you remind us of its significance in the final paragraph.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Yes, Charles could be in a spot of bother - we shall see. However, being the hero, he may hold a trump card.
Comment from Mistydawn
I'm afraid the wellness check he did on his friend might end up sending him to the slammer, his footprints in the dirt, his blood on the window. Your story is well-written, very interesting, realistic. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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I'm afraid the wellness check he did on his friend might end up sending him to the slammer, his footprints in the dirt, his blood on the window. Your story is well-written, very interesting, realistic. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Thanks for your review, Dawn. I appreciate your comments about this chapter. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
A pancake perched on a coil of rope or a dwarf hiding under a mushroom,
seems like Chaprasi may be a master of disguise (or a good diversion).
Charles is one of the clumsiest individuals in literature,
too bad Peter Sellers isn't around to play him (aka The Pink Panther)
or maybe Don Adams as Maxwell Smart.
"Your not quite such a fool as you appear," then again, you just provided a motive for robbery.
My guess is Kayla is off to help Helen, without the bumbling Brits.
Since the image of the markhor keeps reappearing, I suggest a new title:
The Mark of the Markhor
or The Markhor Incident
or Shadow of the Markhor
or Blood of the Markhor (I like this one best, as it relates to early descriptions). :)
This is one of your better chapters, deserves a six, but none available.
Well done
Robert
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Hello Tony,
A pancake perched on a coil of rope or a dwarf hiding under a mushroom,
seems like Chaprasi may be a master of disguise (or a good diversion).
Charles is one of the clumsiest individuals in literature,
too bad Peter Sellers isn't around to play him (aka The Pink Panther)
or maybe Don Adams as Maxwell Smart.
"Your not quite such a fool as you appear," then again, you just provided a motive for robbery.
My guess is Kayla is off to help Helen, without the bumbling Brits.
Since the image of the markhor keeps reappearing, I suggest a new title:
The Mark of the Markhor
or The Markhor Incident
or Shadow of the Markhor
or Blood of the Markhor (I like this one best, as it relates to early descriptions). :)
This is one of your better chapters, deserves a six, but none available.
Well done
Robert
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Some good suggestions for alternative titles. I?ll make a note of them.
You may be on the money with your comment about Kayla. It?s certainly beginning to look as if she?d be better off alone!
Comment from estory
I liked this chapter. Good scene setting, and good character delineation sets up this mysterious action between Charles and Chaprasi and Ash. I liked how Chaprasi at first appears so unassuming, so friendly, and then turns out to be the robber of the ransom money. All the starlight overhead helps set that mysterious mood. Good tension in the dialogue. Good foreshadowing in that dream of the pig. Well now they are in a pickle and they must recover that money. Helen's predicament hangs in the balance. estory
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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I liked this chapter. Good scene setting, and good character delineation sets up this mysterious action between Charles and Chaprasi and Ash. I liked how Chaprasi at first appears so unassuming, so friendly, and then turns out to be the robber of the ransom money. All the starlight overhead helps set that mysterious mood. Good tension in the dialogue. Good foreshadowing in that dream of the pig. Well now they are in a pickle and they must recover that money. Helen's predicament hangs in the balance. estory
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Thanks, estory. I appreciate your supportive comments and the sixer. Not sure at this stage who the thief is. Chaprasi is certainly a possibility.
Comment from Ricky1024
A thief in the night Great China by the way as I read this I thoroughly enjoyed it there's this will be one complete run in sentence by the way I'm talking into a cell phone while doing reviews in 20 degree temperature in New Jersey it read well flowed well no ground issues as well projective and objective contents were both excellent and exceptional while descriptive measures a lined up perfectly good luck with this and have a blessed day dr. Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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A thief in the night Great China by the way as I read this I thoroughly enjoyed it there's this will be one complete run in sentence by the way I'm talking into a cell phone while doing reviews in 20 degree temperature in New Jersey it read well flowed well no ground issues as well projective and objective contents were both excellent and exceptional while descriptive measures a lined up perfectly good luck with this and have a blessed day dr. Ricky 1024
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Thanks for your review, Ricky. I appreciate your comments about this chapter. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh dear, I can see Charles being charged with this. His blood, the footprints in the rose bed, how is he going to explain all that without it looking to suspicious to be a flook? And, he new what was in the bag, he'll have to explain that as well, because as far as Ash knew, Charles didn't! This is a great bit of story telling, Tony, and now I have to wait to see how he gets out of this! Well done! :)) Sandra xx
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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Oh dear, I can see Charles being charged with this. His blood, the footprints in the rose bed, how is he going to explain all that without it looking to suspicious to be a flook? And, he new what was in the bag, he'll have to explain that as well, because as far as Ash knew, Charles didn't! This is a great bit of story telling, Tony, and now I have to wait to see how he gets out of this! Well done! :)) Sandra xx
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Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
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Thanks, Sandra. He does seem to be in a spot of bother, but he's the hero! That doesn't come cheap! All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
Firstly, I like how you include the last lines from the previous chapter before starting a new one!
Markhor is our national animal and indigenous to Pakistan so you were on spot there. I liked reading your work again and things are getting interesting now.
Fun tid bits for you...Chaprasi, in Urdu, is what you may call a Peon or a low-grade assistant. Also, Kayla in Urdu is a banana! :-)
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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Firstly, I like how you include the last lines from the previous chapter before starting a new one!
Markhor is our national animal and indigenous to Pakistan so you were on spot there. I liked reading your work again and things are getting interesting now.
Fun tid bits for you...Chaprasi, in Urdu, is what you may call a Peon or a low-grade assistant. Also, Kayla in Urdu is a banana! :-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
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Thanks for your review, Aaqib. I appreciate your comments about this chapter. I knew about Chaprasi meaning a low-grade assistant but wasn't aware of Kayla's name in Urdu. I understand that the Kalash people have a reputation for some pretty strange names, though more of them are now choosing Urdu names.
All good wishes, Tony
All good wishes, Tony
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Well yes, the Kalashi people have their native Chitrali language as well and only a few can speak Urdu well enough and normally those people choose to be tour guides, shopkeepers and hotel owners, etc in the Kalash Valley! Keep writing, Sir! :-)
