Reviews from

life has many avenues to explore

5-7-5(lost in the canyon)

18 total reviews 
Comment from Aiona
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

There's a name for how the middle line joins the first and third line in topic. I can't remember. Anyway, this poem follows the 5-7-5 format, and also has a deeper meaning within - can be a metaphor.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2020

reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Aiona,

    So pleased you found me through this post. My typical style is the English version of Haiku with its 5-7-5 syllable count. The more traditional Japanese style Haiku has three elements: nature, a seasonal reference, and an 'aha moment' (or satori line). I aspire to increase my writing in the more traditional vein, but it is more difficult to consistently accomplish.

    So I am unaware if there is a poetry style that combines lines one and three. In the more traditional mode, the first two lines are connected.

    I will reply separately to your high rating.

    Mark
reply by Aiona on 23-Jan-2020
    Satori!!!!!! Yes, that was the word I was looking for!
Comment from Patty Palmer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Decisions, decisions! LOL Which one to choose. It would make it too easy to take the path that's worn because evidently, that's the way everybody must go. Take the long way home!
God bless!
Patty

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2020

reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Patty,

    Where's the excitement if we always take the well worn path. Taking the long way home may open up new experiences, but possibly the anger for being late for the family meal. LOL

    So pleased you enjoyed this walk with me. 5-7-5 is my main writing style. Longer verses are not in my poetry wheelhouse.

    Mark
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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I felt the adventure here in your words and this presentation reminds us to grab life whilst we can and explore by taking a chance, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2020

reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Dolly,

    The fun in life is exploring new vistas. My poetry writing in the last 15 months has been an opportunity to explore and take a chance.

    Thanks, as always, for your support of my FS posts.

    Mark
Comment from Dancemom
Excellent
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This is a wonderful 575 poem that tells a story about lost hikers. Which way should they go? Hopefully, they choose wisely. Your syllable count is correct. Great job and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2020

reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    My pleasure Heather that you enjoyed my 5-7-5 post. Fortunately, I have never been lost in the forest or mountains, but I know I have in my car without a GPS...LOL

    Mark
Comment from Janetsue
Excellent
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I really like the open end you've allowed here, Mark. Life is a series of decisions and you've presented one amidst towering glory of natural beauty. You are a word artist, for sure!

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2020

reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
    Thanks Janet,

    With my limited syllable poem count style, I must be judicious with my word choice. LOL

    I do appreciate your comments!

    Mark
Comment from Jerome Goldberg
Excellent
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Oh how true in so many points in life. Well said. I know that you are a man of few words; but, I have a feeling that you have a lot to say. Perhaps, like the animals, you might consider getting chatty - Jerry

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2020

reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
    Jerry,

    Since my main style is 5-7-5 syllable lines, I must choose words judiciously.

    I doubt my poetry wheelhouse will ever evolve into longer verses.

    Maybe with your animal chatty reference, you may have previewed my ebook. If so, do you think I should spend my money to make it a hard cover? The illustrations need a facing page to explore the various nuances AND identify for the reader my unusual animals, e.g. caracal, meerkat, zebu, etc. that are not typically found in animal picture books.

    Mark

    P.S. If you really want to chat, we can exchange personal emails.
reply by Jerome Goldberg on 21-Jan-2020
    I only know of your book from your FS profile; but, I would like to take a look. How do I get to it?
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Jerry,

    Just go to Amazon books and insert my title, or google search the title. You can preview/see the cover and back pages from that view. Publishing it was a bucket list moment for me.

    If you have children or grandchildren under 10, they may like to explore the full version on an iPad or Kindle reader.

    Mark
reply by Jerome Goldberg on 21-Jan-2020
    Looks like a fun way to teach the alphabet and enhance bonding. Our kids learned the ABCs back in the 60s - 70s from Sesame Street, I have no advice about your hardcover question. But I would guess the answer would be based on both a business case and personal satisfaction. I'm impressed - Jerry
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Thanks. The business case is the real nut.. But to satisfy my ego, I looked into the cost of the redo as a hardcover with a local printer - still considering (-;
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Excellent
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Mark, this is REALLY good--thought-provoking, conveying a message about life. We will encounter those "forks in the road" till we die, np matter where we are!

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 Comment Written 20-Jan-2020

reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
    Yes Janice, Robert Frost's famous poem, The Road Not Taken, applies to my poem attempt (-;

    Mark
Comment from phill doran
Excellent
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Hello Mark
It is nice to see someone writing a small poem in a 5/7/5 beacuse they want to and not because of a competition where they are obliged to. good for you.
You've also come up with a neat philosophical angle.
Maybe the last line could be expressed "...and we..." rather than "...yet we..." but that is a minor personal preference (like using "...a trail fork" rather than "...the trail fork" - the canyon of life has many forks!) and I mean no disrespect to your works or words here - it is just a thought.
A very compact and apt piece and worth dwelling upon.
I wish you the best with your continued writing.
cheers
phill

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 Comment Written 20-Jan-2020

reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
    Phill,

    Thanks for your in-depth comments and your wishes. I will rethink your 'and we ...' suggestion. Robert Frost's poem, The Road Not Taken, says it much better and is longer than anything I will ever write. LOL

    Because I want to, I try to compose a 5-7-5 daily for my own brain exercise. So, entering a contest or getting a review is not why I post.

    Best to you too.

    Mark

    BTW ... my canyon imagery was because I could not find artwork for a deep mountain forest at FanArt, which was my original concept (-;