St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "St. Louis Chapter 21 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
18 total reviews
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Barbara, a wonderful Wednesday to you. Thank you for another chapter of this wonderful story. It was an enjoyable read as always, I just hope Mac's no quit attitude doesn't put her in anymore danger. I guess we will see. Good job and have a great day!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2020
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Hello Barbara, a wonderful Wednesday to you. Thank you for another chapter of this wonderful story. It was an enjoyable read as always, I just hope Mac's no quit attitude doesn't put her in anymore danger. I guess we will see. Good job and have a great day!
Comment Written 22-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2020
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It will put her into major danger and soon. Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
Woww!! It was such an amazing piece of writing. You're possessed with such a wonderful talent. I loved it and enjoyed reading it completely. I hope you'll go miles as a writer. Wishing you luck.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Woww!! It was such an amazing piece of writing. You're possessed with such a wonderful talent. I loved it and enjoyed reading it completely. I hope you'll go miles as a writer. Wishing you luck.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Tiny nit -- "...I'm doing the job I was hired to do..." I don't think you need to make 'job' plural. There are perhaps a lot of tasks within it, but it's one job -- to find the killer, yes?
Excellent!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Tiny nit -- "...I'm doing the job I was hired to do..." I don't think you need to make 'job' plural. There are perhaps a lot of tasks within it, but it's one job -- to find the killer, yes?
Excellent!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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She has other jobs. Mrs. Whitmore for example. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
Great chapter. Looks like this gal is in it for the long haul. The guys might complain but I'm sure they both know her well enough to know that's the way she is and they actually love her like that, too. A classic Catch 22 situation. *smile*
Only saw a tiny nit:
--> "True." Bill walked further inside and looked around. "Looks like you just finished eating."
--> when it's distances, use 'farther'
Thanks a bunch!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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Barbara,
Great chapter. Looks like this gal is in it for the long haul. The guys might complain but I'm sure they both know her well enough to know that's the way she is and they actually love her like that, too. A classic Catch 22 situation. *smile*
Only saw a tiny nit:
--> "True." Bill walked further inside and looked around. "Looks like you just finished eating."
--> when it's distances, use 'farther'
Thanks a bunch!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
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I can never keep those words straight the same with effect and affect. I think I got it correct and then mess up. Thank you for having my back.
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Barbara,
Here's how I remember:
distances = far = 'farther'
re - affect/effect:
BEFORE ='affect' - things AFFECT you
AFTER = 'effect' - things EFFECTED you
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OR what comes LATER is the 'EFFECT'
Comment from bhogg
Barbara - I haven't read every chapter, but it's always a pleasure to drop in. I've told you before that I learn from you. I love how you grab your reader, don't let go, and pull them through your story. Just technically perfect. Bill
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Barbara - I haven't read every chapter, but it's always a pleasure to drop in. I've told you before that I learn from you. I love how you grab your reader, don't let go, and pull them through your story. Just technically perfect. Bill
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Cozy little family scene or maybe a wish for family scene. Quite breakfast and then reality rushing in: recap of the events and a new lead for the next chapter. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Cozy little family scene or maybe a wish for family scene. Quite breakfast and then reality rushing in: recap of the events and a new lead for the next chapter. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I like Mac, she's not going to sit down and be bullied, even if it is for her own good. lol. This is another excellent part, Barbara. Just one thing, how do you make cake donuts??? I'd like to try some. I just found one nit below. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
McKenzie ran to him and (through) [threw] her arms around his neck
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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I like Mac, she's not going to sit down and be bullied, even if it is for her own good. lol. This is another excellent part, Barbara. Just one thing, how do you make cake donuts??? I'd like to try some. I just found one nit below. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
McKenzie ran to him and (through) [threw] her arms around his neck
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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I just make the change. Thank you for the catch and the kind review.
Comment from bob cullen
I've been away for a while. Have returned a week or so ago I was beginning to think all the good writer's had vanished from the site. Then I found this post.
You are writing as well as ever. Well done, Barbara.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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I've been away for a while. Have returned a week or so ago I was beginning to think all the good writer's had vanished from the site. Then I found this post.
You are writing as well as ever. Well done, Barbara.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. I hope you will stay around a while. I have missed your reviews and your writing.
Comment from tfawcus
Good chapter. The cooking helps break the dialogue and gives it a natural setting, and the suspense continues to build with Mac refusing to listen to reason.
A couple of minor things:
McKenzie ran to him and through (threw) her arms around his neck.
and I'd lose both these commas:
"They're pretty sure it was a car bomb(,) but no clear evidence(,) yet."
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Good chapter. The cooking helps break the dialogue and gives it a natural setting, and the suspense continues to build with Mac refusing to listen to reason.
A couple of minor things:
McKenzie ran to him and through (threw) her arms around his neck.
and I'd lose both these commas:
"They're pretty sure it was a car bomb(,) but no clear evidence(,) yet."
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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I sure will lose the commas. I hate them myself. LOL Commas always cause me trouble. I have corrected the misspelling.
Comment from susand3022
You know, Barbara... I'm not 100% sure I like Mitch. I know he was a friend of Mackenzie's dad and all, but he's also a career cop. He could be their inside man. He'd probably feel bad about it, but they could be doing any number of professional things to him to make him dance to their tune. Nope, not sure he's not the one planting the bugs in the first place.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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You know, Barbara... I'm not 100% sure I like Mitch. I know he was a friend of Mackenzie's dad and all, but he's also a career cop. He could be their inside man. He'd probably feel bad about it, but they could be doing any number of professional things to him to make him dance to their tune. Nope, not sure he's not the one planting the bugs in the first place.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. You bring an interesting insight to this. I have worried about him myself.
