Safe To Remember
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Unresolved Issues"Writing for healing
8 total reviews
Comment from scongrove
First, thank you for opening your heart and sharing personal moments and feelings here. I know it has to take a lot of courage to open up like this and tell your story. But, I'm glad you are. Hearing you express your feelings brings out my own. I know your hurting, and I feel your pain. I wish I could fix everything for you, I truly do. If only I had supernatural powers, I would take away all your pain. Sadly, I don't. We all go through so much with family. It's hard to just put it aside and forget. Those hurt feelings will always be there. But I think talking about it will help you heal on some level. I tend to sweep my hurt under the rug, but somehow it always comes back no matter how hard I try to put it out of the way. Through all our pain, I know we will end up standing tall with strength. I pray everyday for God's help and He never fails even when I think He's not listening. He's always listening. Please keep writing. It's your GIFT.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
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First, thank you for opening your heart and sharing personal moments and feelings here. I know it has to take a lot of courage to open up like this and tell your story. But, I'm glad you are. Hearing you express your feelings brings out my own. I know your hurting, and I feel your pain. I wish I could fix everything for you, I truly do. If only I had supernatural powers, I would take away all your pain. Sadly, I don't. We all go through so much with family. It's hard to just put it aside and forget. Those hurt feelings will always be there. But I think talking about it will help you heal on some level. I tend to sweep my hurt under the rug, but somehow it always comes back no matter how hard I try to put it out of the way. Through all our pain, I know we will end up standing tall with strength. I pray everyday for God's help and He never fails even when I think He's not listening. He's always listening. Please keep writing. It's your GIFT.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
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OH my word, You are sweeping me off of my feet! I feel like I can do this after reading your last two reviews! You DO have supernatural powers! Thank you!! :-D Thanks for the six stars. You are too generous. Hugs XX
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You are truly deserving, my friend :)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I can understand how hard that must be for you. I lost both my parents within three years of each other, my mother just couldn't go on without my dad and she just gave up. When we look back and our memories start flooding in, then the pain starts, the, why's, encroach our dreams, and the, what ifs, all these keep me awake at night, even after seven years of my mum's passing. I admire you for writing this all down, and I can understand your saying you are having a hard time writing this. I still can't do it because my tears blind me. Reading your story, though, is such a help to me. Even though this is the first part I've read. I'll be continuing from now one. Sending you a big hug, my friend. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
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I can understand how hard that must be for you. I lost both my parents within three years of each other, my mother just couldn't go on without my dad and she just gave up. When we look back and our memories start flooding in, then the pain starts, the, why's, encroach our dreams, and the, what ifs, all these keep me awake at night, even after seven years of my mum's passing. I admire you for writing this all down, and I can understand your saying you are having a hard time writing this. I still can't do it because my tears blind me. Reading your story, though, is such a help to me. Even though this is the first part I've read. I'll be continuing from now one. Sending you a big hug, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
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OhSandra, I'm so encouraged to hear how this is helping you. That makes me feel better. I wasn't sure how'd this 'go over'. I've never been this vulnerable or honest about myself, but this pain has driven me to write. There are times when the pain is so bad that I felt like it's coming our of my hands. When I write it releases it. Thank you for the review and 5 stars. I appreciate you.
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I think you are helping more people on here than you realise, Rebekka. :))) (Rebecca ?) xxx
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Oh that makes me happy to hear. I spell it Rebecca. :))
Comment from Bill Pinder
You did a great with the story about the complexity of having unresolved feelings about your father and then it becomes much more complicated if he dies and still unresolved. Your story is well expressed with the wording and the relationships that you discussed.
Bill
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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You did a great with the story about the complexity of having unresolved feelings about your father and then it becomes much more complicated if he dies and still unresolved. Your story is well expressed with the wording and the relationships that you discussed.
Bill
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much. I am happy that you are enjoying the chapters. I am so glad I"m expressing myself well...that's been a worry of mine. Thanks also, for the 5 stars! Blessings
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I'm coming in in the middle of this but I couldn't help but read it. My uncle just passed from cancer in October. I never really knew him, despite his being there everyday when I was growing up, but I was the one he chose to take him to his chemo. I was a mess when I came home the last time he was admitted into the hospital. Once I walked out I had a meltdown. I knew he wasn't getting out of this alive. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to come to terms with. We just had his celebration of life a couple of weeks ago. I've been all over since September really with my emotions. On Sunday last week I got a bunch of notices, turns out I stopped opening up mail, but I never paid one of our bills. The whole thing made me just stop functioning. I wish I had words of wisdom but instead I just have tears in my eyes. I wish you had some memories to remember. I know he loved you even if he didn't share it. My heart breaks that the others have good stories and you struggle to find even one. If you ever need to talk I'm here. Really, I didn't read the first chapters but I'm always here even if I don't know everything. Big, big hugs!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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I'm coming in in the middle of this but I couldn't help but read it. My uncle just passed from cancer in October. I never really knew him, despite his being there everyday when I was growing up, but I was the one he chose to take him to his chemo. I was a mess when I came home the last time he was admitted into the hospital. Once I walked out I had a meltdown. I knew he wasn't getting out of this alive. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to come to terms with. We just had his celebration of life a couple of weeks ago. I've been all over since September really with my emotions. On Sunday last week I got a bunch of notices, turns out I stopped opening up mail, but I never paid one of our bills. The whole thing made me just stop functioning. I wish I had words of wisdom but instead I just have tears in my eyes. I wish you had some memories to remember. I know he loved you even if he didn't share it. My heart breaks that the others have good stories and you struggle to find even one. If you ever need to talk I'm here. Really, I didn't read the first chapters but I'm always here even if I don't know everything. Big, big hugs!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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WOW, 6 shiny stars! I thank you profusely! :-))
I'm so sorry for your loss and I am happy that by my sharing, it is giving you permission to share as well. Thank you for being available for me to talk to you. That means so much!
I have good memories of Daddy, but not so much in my older years when I really needed them. Thanks again for the six! it means the world to me! Blessings & Hugs
Comment from Teri7
This is another very good, heartfelt post you have done. I can so relate to your feelings about the jealousy and your father. I had to deal with that type of thing with our mother. My mother seemed to always do for the boys and kind of leave me and my sister out. It took a very long time to get over it, but by the help and grace of God I did. I realized I had a wonderful mother that loved my sister and I very much. She felt like our brothers need her more. After many years without my mother, I realize she was so right. I guess I am taking up where she left off trying to help them. Hope this makes sense to you my friend. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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This is another very good, heartfelt post you have done. I can so relate to your feelings about the jealousy and your father. I had to deal with that type of thing with our mother. My mother seemed to always do for the boys and kind of leave me and my sister out. It took a very long time to get over it, but by the help and grace of God I did. I realized I had a wonderful mother that loved my sister and I very much. She felt like our brothers need her more. After many years without my mother, I realize she was so right. I guess I am taking up where she left off trying to help them. Hope this makes sense to you my friend. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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It does make sense. Thank you very much for sharing that with me. Thank you for the review and five stars as well! I really, really appreciate it!
Comment from Ricky1024
"Unsolved Issues"
Speaks with your dad's fight with cancer.
It was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
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It also, read well and Flowed well with No Grammar Issues to speak.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks and good luck with this.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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"Unsolved Issues"
Speaks with your dad's fight with cancer.
It was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
It also, read well and Flowed well with No Grammar Issues to speak.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks and good luck with this.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much! I appreciate the review and five stars.:)
Comment from Carl DeVere
A heartfelt effort to resolve a difficult issue. I've heard it said that as the parent starts to pass--just forgive and forget, so both of you can move on in peace. This piece begs the question of birth order and brother's relations with Dad because of the photo in support. Family relationships are complex and few make it through without some misgivings. At least you got it out. Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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A heartfelt effort to resolve a difficult issue. I've heard it said that as the parent starts to pass--just forgive and forget, so both of you can move on in peace. This piece begs the question of birth order and brother's relations with Dad because of the photo in support. Family relationships are complex and few make it through without some misgivings. At least you got it out. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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Thank you, Carl. I am choosing to 'let it out' with my husband or close friends...and fanstory :), but not with my parents. Too much water under the bridge and I don't see any reason at this point to continue a dialogue on it. I just have to come to terms, grieve and with God's help, let it go. I appreciate your review and five stars so much. Thank you.
Comment from susand3022
Hello R. I'm so sorry to hear that you're losing your dad.
I recall feeling so alone when I was a teenager... I was very frustrated that I had no attention from my parents who paid plenty to my 2 older sisters and my little brother. Why not me? I'm a good girl... what have I done wrong? Why don't they like me? Well, one day, I wrote them a letter. (I guess I was a writer even then... lol) I pretty much asked them all that and left it on their bed. Nothing was ever said about it, there was no face-to-face... but little things changed. I was asked about my day, just generally not so overlooked. It really made all the difference. Looking back I think it was probably just a case of "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" in the case of my sisters, and "only boy syndrome" in the case of my brother.
It's now my oldest sister and me who mainly look after my parents, 88 and 91 now, they're starting to get there I'm afraid. They won't leave the house (I mean to go to a home or something) and I don't blame them, they will stay where they are. The other day a neighbor told someone we had doing some plumbing that he didn't have to worry about fixing anything in that house because my parents were old and they'd be going to a home soon anyway. I texted his wife and told her she could tell him... over my dead body... I'll move in first, and so will my sister! Made me angrier than a wet hen!
It's hard to have parents of that age, to see them get older and more fragile. I wish you the best moving forward. Keep light in your heart. Hugs, Susan
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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Hello R. I'm so sorry to hear that you're losing your dad.
I recall feeling so alone when I was a teenager... I was very frustrated that I had no attention from my parents who paid plenty to my 2 older sisters and my little brother. Why not me? I'm a good girl... what have I done wrong? Why don't they like me? Well, one day, I wrote them a letter. (I guess I was a writer even then... lol) I pretty much asked them all that and left it on their bed. Nothing was ever said about it, there was no face-to-face... but little things changed. I was asked about my day, just generally not so overlooked. It really made all the difference. Looking back I think it was probably just a case of "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" in the case of my sisters, and "only boy syndrome" in the case of my brother.
It's now my oldest sister and me who mainly look after my parents, 88 and 91 now, they're starting to get there I'm afraid. They won't leave the house (I mean to go to a home or something) and I don't blame them, they will stay where they are. The other day a neighbor told someone we had doing some plumbing that he didn't have to worry about fixing anything in that house because my parents were old and they'd be going to a home soon anyway. I texted his wife and told her she could tell him... over my dead body... I'll move in first, and so will my sister! Made me angrier than a wet hen!
It's hard to have parents of that age, to see them get older and more fragile. I wish you the best moving forward. Keep light in your heart. Hugs, Susan
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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Oh Susan, I can tell you can relate. I'm so happy you saw some change. I know my dad loves me. I adore him, I guess being the. oldest you get practiced on and it's hard to see your younger siblings getting what you were dying for.
Thank you for taking time to read and review. I truly appreciate it!! Thanks for the five stars too! :))
