Clarifying Crux
a poem35 total reviews
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Jesse, being eccentric is no problem really, you are not alone LOL. But being off kilter, well what can I say? LOL! An interesting, unusual poem, well rhymed and an interesting read. I particularly found the following interesting -
The first thing I notice is lack of thought,
loss of energy -- feeling overwrought.
The causes are what I have sought--
hard to know, as I never was taught..... Well, I should not worry if I were you - you can still write good poetry. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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Hello Jesse, being eccentric is no problem really, you are not alone LOL. But being off kilter, well what can I say? LOL! An interesting, unusual poem, well rhymed and an interesting read. I particularly found the following interesting -
The first thing I notice is lack of thought,
loss of energy -- feeling overwrought.
The causes are what I have sought--
hard to know, as I never was taught..... Well, I should not worry if I were you - you can still write good poetry. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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Hello Dorothy.
Thank you for your interesting and unique perspective of my life, as well as, my writing skills. I appreciate your kind comment. Thank you for pointing out the part that you found interesting. Thank you for your honest appraisal and the excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from June Sargent
I can see how this can be such a constant challenge and struggle in your daily life. But you've done well and will continue to manage it with a positive attitude. Writing helps, I'm sure.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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I can see how this can be such a constant challenge and struggle in your daily life. But you've done well and will continue to manage it with a positive attitude. Writing helps, I'm sure.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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Thank you for your supportive encouragement. Yes, writing and sharing on FS helps a lot to confirm my development in the best direction possible. I receive much positive support from folks here at FS. I appreciate your insights and the excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good Morning, Jesse!
Your poem, "Clarifying Crux" is one of my favorite offerings that you have penned for its form and content. But most of all, it resonates with deep introspection and honesty, which to me, are the key hallmarks of meaningful poetry. I wish I had six stars to affix on your exceptionally well-crafted poem.
I appreciate the phrase: "Hard-facing memories that hurt." Where do I begin? ...
But you end the poem by sharing with the reader that you are "Full-centered" with your feet on the ground and a sound cranium! That you are, Jesse!
Thank you for sharing, Jesse!
diane
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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Good Morning, Jesse!
Your poem, "Clarifying Crux" is one of my favorite offerings that you have penned for its form and content. But most of all, it resonates with deep introspection and honesty, which to me, are the key hallmarks of meaningful poetry. I wish I had six stars to affix on your exceptionally well-crafted poem.
I appreciate the phrase: "Hard-facing memories that hurt." Where do I begin? ...
But you end the poem by sharing with the reader that you are "Full-centered" with your feet on the ground and a sound cranium! That you are, Jesse!
Thank you for sharing, Jesse!
diane
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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Hello Diane. Your wonderful review is a great start to my day. I am glad it is one of your favorites of mine. I love your perspective and insights. I appreciate you choosing a phrase that resonates best with you. Your extremely kind words are pleasing to my sight. Thank you for your encouragement and empathy. A 'virtual' six means just as much to me as the real thing. All that you've said means a lot to me. Thank you so much, Diane!
Take care, Jesse
Comment from lyenochka
Great resolution in this poem which began with lots of self-doubt and painful memories and discomfort with "eccentricity" (personally, I like eccentricity!) But in learning about self and being centered, the poet sees that he is perfectly sound.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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Great resolution in this poem which began with lots of self-doubt and painful memories and discomfort with "eccentricity" (personally, I like eccentricity!) But in learning about self and being centered, the poet sees that he is perfectly sound.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
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Thank you for your positive perspective on the resolution of this poem. It is a personal journey I am on, and have reached a summit for an unknown amount of time, but I will enjoy being centered for as long as it lasts. I appreciate your insightful review and excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Dawn Munro
Jesse, this rhyme works well for the subject matter. Although I usually don't like when a poem changes from one to another scheme (just personal taste), some topics call for it, and this one I do like.
Nicely done!
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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Jesse, this rhyme works well for the subject matter. Although I usually don't like when a poem changes from one to another scheme (just personal taste), some topics call for it, and this one I do like.
Nicely done!
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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Thanks, Dawn. It's funny, I thought everyone would notice and mention it yet, you are the first. While I was writing it, it just seemed to fit. I am glad you made an exception for this one. Thank you for your honest review, and the excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
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It was my pleasure. :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, Jesse, with your poem. The rhymes are good, the flow is there, and readers feel a sense of who you are. I believe this is such a personal endeavor and that only good will come of it. We all want to be appreciated for who we are and not what someone else wants us to be for them. We need to be true to ourselves. I hope that writing your feelings out helps you. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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You did a great job, Jesse, with your poem. The rhymes are good, the flow is there, and readers feel a sense of who you are. I believe this is such a personal endeavor and that only good will come of it. We all want to be appreciated for who we are and not what someone else wants us to be for them. We need to be true to ourselves. I hope that writing your feelings out helps you. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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Thanks so much, Jan, for this in depth and insightful review. I appreciate your kind comments about the rhymes and flow of the piece. Yes, it does help to write and share my experiences by reflecting on my personal journey. Thank you for the excellent review and rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from rama devi
This is one of your best poems. The emotional pitch is high. The rhymes are good, especially in all the middle stanzas. The flow is good too. Excellent reflective work.
I'm not sure, but I think maybe off-kilter is meant to be hyphenated. I forgot to mention that on our first edit.
This does make a strong opening stanza;
Being off kilter from the start,
it's hard to know when I'm centered.
You know I'm eccentric at heart;
my cadence is only one part. LOVE THIS LINE
Love the internal rhyme here:
They wound -- sever -- forever cut
FAVORITE STANZA FOR RHYMES:
My consciousness needs time to adjust
to the realness of what's taken place.
Sometimes, it leaves me out to rust;
other times, I'm smothered in dust.
Perfect closing note:
the crux of my cranium is sound.
I love the raw honesty coupled with balance, integrity and 'feet on the ground' energy.
Well done! A six! Good job on initial edits too! Whee!~
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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This is one of your best poems. The emotional pitch is high. The rhymes are good, especially in all the middle stanzas. The flow is good too. Excellent reflective work.
I'm not sure, but I think maybe off-kilter is meant to be hyphenated. I forgot to mention that on our first edit.
This does make a strong opening stanza;
Being off kilter from the start,
it's hard to know when I'm centered.
You know I'm eccentric at heart;
my cadence is only one part. LOVE THIS LINE
Love the internal rhyme here:
They wound -- sever -- forever cut
FAVORITE STANZA FOR RHYMES:
My consciousness needs time to adjust
to the realness of what's taken place.
Sometimes, it leaves me out to rust;
other times, I'm smothered in dust.
Perfect closing note:
the crux of my cranium is sound.
I love the raw honesty coupled with balance, integrity and 'feet on the ground' energy.
Well done! A six! Good job on initial edits too! Whee!~
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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Whoa! I'm so glad you thought this is one of my best poems. I love all the examples you give of favorites, as well as giving me very kind comments about the energy of this, as well as the rhymes, and raw honesty. I value your integrity very much, and am thrilled to receive an exceptional rating from you! You have made my whole week special!
Take care, Jesse
P. S. Windows 10 says "off kilter" does not need a hyphen, whereas Grammarly says, I need one. So I went with what I liked better. JJD
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Yes...I also found mixed ideas when searching about it! I think either way goes, so your off-kilter cannot be off kilter. Ha ha!
Warmly, rd
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Hi Rama.
Ha ha...I love your play on words. It's funny when different sources say opposite opinions. Have a good evening.
Take care, Jesse
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Thanks. you too. :)
Comment from Tina Crute
What I see clearly is the imagery of how you feel about yourself
as you recall painful
memories. It makes your experience relevant to us, who may have painful memories and concur with your descriptive wording. The picture is a winner as it looks like a page of a medical book.
I liked this for lots of reasons. Well done!
Tina
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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What I see clearly is the imagery of how you feel about yourself
as you recall painful
memories. It makes your experience relevant to us, who may have painful memories and concur with your descriptive wording. The picture is a winner as it looks like a page of a medical book.
I liked this for lots of reasons. Well done!
Tina
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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Thank you, Tina, for your adept analysis of how I feel, and how others may relate to this piece. It makes me happy that you like the choice of the picture to represent this poem. I appreciate your kind comments, and excellent review and rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Jesse James Doty
My how well you told us in your poem how you want to center yourself and find who you really are. I kike the rhyming pattern of abab all through your poem. Gert
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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Hello Jesse James Doty
My how well you told us in your poem how you want to center yourself and find who you really are. I kike the rhyming pattern of abab all through your poem. Gert
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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Hi Gert Sherwood.
Thank you for this interesting perspective on what I was trying to convey. I am glad you like the rhyme scheme. Thank you for the excellent review and rating.
Take care, Jesse
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You are welcome Jesse James Doty
Gert
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A catchy title,
interesting image,
and good presentation, Jesse.
-I like the poem very much.
-It flows very well with
good meter and rhyme.
-The last line is great
with the alliteration, the
title included, and conclusion
to all the situations you mentioned.
-You did a good job of giving
background information that
outlined "Hard-facing memories that hurt."
-I also like the image about
being left out to rust.
-A very good poem that I
enjoyed and is deserving of
the stars and review!
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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-A catchy title,
interesting image,
and good presentation, Jesse.
-I like the poem very much.
-It flows very well with
good meter and rhyme.
-The last line is great
with the alliteration, the
title included, and conclusion
to all the situations you mentioned.
-You did a good job of giving
background information that
outlined "Hard-facing memories that hurt."
-I also like the image about
being left out to rust.
-A very good poem that I
enjoyed and is deserving of
the stars and review!
Comment Written 17-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
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Wow, Pam! You covered nearly everything, so well. This is purely an excellent review, to go along with the exceptional rating! Thank you much for the details, and choice of info, and lines you liked best. I am glad you liked the title, and the return to the title, in the end. I am thrilled to receive such a comprehensive review! And once again, thank you for the super six star rating! You have made this day special for me.
Take care, Jesse
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You are very welcome, Jesse, and I am so appreciative of your reply. I was just thinking about that last line; it was so good. You are really stepping up with your poetry and doing a great job.
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Thanks, Pam. Your compliment about "stepping up" with my poetry is exciting to hear. Fan Story has helped me to shape and sharpen my skills applied to my poetry as of late. For you to reflect this back to me is really special and means so much to me. Thanks for your encouragement and support. With you, and others like you, it makes all the difference.
Take care, Jesse
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You are very welcome, Jesse, and I appreciate your reply. I think most of us benefit from FS; it is how we learn and grow. Have a good weekend!
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Have a wonderful weekend, Pam!
Jesse
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Thanks, Jesse.
