Clarifying Crux
a poem35 total reviews
Comment from Irish Rain
So wonderful that you begin, and end...sound.
To explore the past can be a painful
endeavor.
Excruciating excavations, only the
very brave dare.
I know I sure don't. Putting your feelings, yourself
into every line,
you are finding the treasure...
is you.
Beautiful,
Blessings...
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2020
  |
So wonderful that you begin, and end...sound.
To explore the past can be a painful
endeavor.
Excruciating excavations, only the
very brave dare.
I know I sure don't. Putting your feelings, yourself
into every line,
you are finding the treasure...
is you.
Beautiful,
Blessings...
Comment Written 26-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2020
-
What a wonderful surprise to find a beautiful review, and with six stars too! I do feel brave and proud to work as hard as I do on my personal development. It's very nice to be affirmed by you. I love your phrase, "you are finding the treasure...is you." Thank you so much for this exceptional review and rating! You have made my day complete.
Take care, Jesse
-
Your poem is a treasure too! You're welcome! Have a nice week!
-
Thanks so much! Have a great week as well!
Jesse
Comment from Patty Palmer
I enjoyed your poem. It's well written and the rhyme and rhythm give the poem some bounce to it. I'm rather drawn to rhyming poetry. It's a good idea once in a while to examine who we are, even if it is a bit scary! LOL
Patty
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
 |
I enjoyed your poem. It's well written and the rhyme and rhythm give the poem some bounce to it. I'm rather drawn to rhyming poetry. It's a good idea once in a while to examine who we are, even if it is a bit scary! LOL
Patty
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
-
Thank you, Patty. Sorry for the delay in response. My eyes have been bothering me lately. I appreciate your kind comments...I am glad you found some 'bounce to it'. Yes, it is scary to examine closely who I am, but it is a mission I feel passionate about. Thank you for your excellent review and rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Louise Michelle
It takes a poet to do self-examination in such an entertaining way. I enjoyed your choice of rhyming words - they really enhanced this reading. I particularly enjoyed your pairing of rust and dust. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
|
It takes a poet to do self-examination in such an entertaining way. I enjoyed your choice of rhyming words - they really enhanced this reading. I particularly enjoyed your pairing of rust and dust. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
-
Thanks so much, Lou, for your enjoyable review. I appreciate you choosing what you like best about my poem. I am glad you liked my choice of rhymes, especially, "rust" and "dust." Thank you for your fun review and excellent rating.
P. S. Sorry for the delay in response. My eyes have been hurting me lately.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this verse is an interesting description of "discoveries of what I've found while examining who I am".
I wonder what each of us would find if we really looked deeply at ourselves.
Well done. Very thought provoking.
Sharon
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
|
I think this verse is an interesting description of "discoveries of what I've found while examining who I am".
I wonder what each of us would find if we really looked deeply at ourselves.
Well done. Very thought provoking.
Sharon
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
-
Thank you, Sharon, for your interesting outlook on what we all might find if we each examined ourselves closely. Good thought-provoking question. Thank you for your kind comments and excellent rating.
I'm sorry for the delay in response. My eyes have been hurting me lately.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Hitcher
Off Kilter is where all the fun is James : )) A lot of my friends would definitely say similar about me. Our pasts do shape us and our memories, good and bad can propel us forward, onward and upwards or they can hold us back and shackle us to the floor.
I enjoyed your clever use of rhyme and the visuals offered up by your examination. Great write!
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
|
Off Kilter is where all the fun is James : )) A lot of my friends would definitely say similar about me. Our pasts do shape us and our memories, good and bad can propel us forward, onward and upwards or they can hold us back and shackle us to the floor.
I enjoyed your clever use of rhyme and the visuals offered up by your examination. Great write!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
-
Thanks so much, Hitch! I'm sorry for the delay in response. My eyes have been hurting me lately. Thank you for the exceptional rating! I appreciate your unique insights on whether it's fun to be off kilter, and whether the past holds us back or not. Thank you for your kind comments. I am glad you enjoyed the use of rhymes and visuals. You have made this day special for me with your super six stars!
Take care, Jesse
Comment from crzypnter
This is a well crafted poem with vivid imagining, I also enjoyed the varying rhymes scheme used which moves the poem along nicely. Credit must be given when due. Thank you for sharing this wonderfully crafted poem. God bless
August
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
|
This is a well crafted poem with vivid imagining, I also enjoyed the varying rhymes scheme used which moves the poem along nicely. Credit must be given when due. Thank you for sharing this wonderfully crafted poem. God bless
August
Comment Written 19-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
-
Thank you very much, August! You have really made my day special with your exceptional rating and marvelous review! Sorry for the delay in response. My eyes have been hurting me lately. I love your insights and details on what you liked best of this poem. I am glad you liked the varying rhyme scheme. It seemed to ask for it when I was writing it. Thanks again, for the splendid six stars!
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Y. M. Roger
A very intriguing write here, Jesse. Even though I realize it is the result of self-examination, I have to say that I enjoy your use of words such as dust and rust metaphors because it gives a concrete feel to the description beyond just imagining them. And 'memories that hurt' and 'cut' do the same thing but for different feel.... overall, you've given the reader an awesome 'swim' in the psyche of Jesse who, even after the ups/downs/skids/stalls stands strong! ;) Thanx for sharing! :) Yvette
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
|
A very intriguing write here, Jesse. Even though I realize it is the result of self-examination, I have to say that I enjoy your use of words such as dust and rust metaphors because it gives a concrete feel to the description beyond just imagining them. And 'memories that hurt' and 'cut' do the same thing but for different feel.... overall, you've given the reader an awesome 'swim' in the psyche of Jesse who, even after the ups/downs/skids/stalls stands strong! ;) Thanx for sharing! :) Yvette
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2020
-
Hi Yvette. What a marvelous review! Sorry for the delay in response. My eyes have been hurting me lately. You have given me the most comprehensive examples of what you thought worked well and how it worked well. I love your phrases, "swim in the psyche" and the "ups/downs/skids/stalls stands strong!" We could've collaborated, you got the gist of my poem so well! I am glad you enjoyed reading this.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Therese Caron
What an excellent piece of work. I love the second stanza. Your words flow beautifully throughout and your rhyme scheme is wonderful. You have covered a lot in this poem. Thanks for sharing this with us!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
What an excellent piece of work. I love the second stanza. Your words flow beautifully throughout and your rhyme scheme is wonderful. You have covered a lot in this poem. Thanks for sharing this with us!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Thank you, Therese, for your kind comments. I appreciate you choosing the stanza that stood out for you. I am glad you liked it. You're welcome for sharing this. It helps me to write, and then share, my personal journey through poetry, with those at FS. Thank you for the excellent review and rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, I really like this poem - it appears to include us all - a soliloquy in smoothly rendered verse, with only one uneven sounding spot - presented dramatically by an easily complemented illustration. I have only one suggestion, again, only a suggestion, with your permission;
Stanza 4 - 4th line - "hard to know, as I was never taught" - just seems
to read smoother with this slight revision...
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
In my opinion, I really like this poem - it appears to include us all - a soliloquy in smoothly rendered verse, with only one uneven sounding spot - presented dramatically by an easily complemented illustration. I have only one suggestion, again, only a suggestion, with your permission;
Stanza 4 - 4th line - "hard to know, as I was never taught" - just seems
to read smoother with this slight revision...
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Thank you for your positive review, with a suggestion to change a part of Stanza 4 - 4th line. Thank you for your suggestion, and I have considered doing it that way, but preferred the choice I made as to how I want the line to read. I appreciate your kind comments. I am glad you liked this poem. Thank you for the suggestion for revision. I like your honesty and willingness to help make this smoother. Thank you for the excellent review and rating.
Take care, Jesse
-
You're very welcome, Jesse. I believe it is my obligation to offer suggestions to peers and welcome theirs for mine, whether or not I agree, like you...Eve
-
Thank you for accepting graciously my decline of your suggestion. Not everyone is so open to suggestions as we are.
Take care, Jesse
-
That is very true, Jesse, but then, our perception of ourselves and what we do are not contingent upon others' views. I believe we are unique in that regard...Eve
-
Hello Eve.
Each person has their own truth. I heard that said the other day and I believe it to be true.
Jesse
-
I can only agree in part, Jesse, because there is truth that is factual and stands on its own merit. My measure of truth in our present circumstance pertains only to personal views...Eve
Comment from rspoet
Hello Jesse,
Most poets are a bit off kilter, otherwise they likely wouldn't be poets. :)
Your poem, though, seems very much on kilter with excellent rhymes in
varying schemes and solid meter that read smoothly. Nice use of alliteration, too.
The imagery is very good as each stanza offers a different perspective
from hard-facing memories to the crux of my cranium.
Sometimes I think it is better not to examine ourselves to closely.
Simply accept that we are all beautiful people, each unique in our own way.
If every tree was an elm, every flower a rose, every bird a cardinal, the world would lose wonder.
Your poem is standing tall, words on the ground, thoughts in the wind.
Well done, my friend.
Wish I had a six for you.
Robert
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
|
Hello Jesse,
Most poets are a bit off kilter, otherwise they likely wouldn't be poets. :)
Your poem, though, seems very much on kilter with excellent rhymes in
varying schemes and solid meter that read smoothly. Nice use of alliteration, too.
The imagery is very good as each stanza offers a different perspective
from hard-facing memories to the crux of my cranium.
Sometimes I think it is better not to examine ourselves to closely.
Simply accept that we are all beautiful people, each unique in our own way.
If every tree was an elm, every flower a rose, every bird a cardinal, the world would lose wonder.
Your poem is standing tall, words on the ground, thoughts in the wind.
Well done, my friend.
Wish I had a six for you.
Robert
Comment Written 18-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
-
Hello Robert.
You have given me an exemplary comprehensive review, unlike any other reader. You noticed everything about this piece, and Liked it enough to give me a 'virtual' six, since you're out of sixes. I am thrilled with your fantastic review. A 'virtual' six means just as much to me as the real deal. After all, what are the ratings but figures to compete with, and I write to express myself and to move my readers.
As far as examining myself too closely... I have worked hard on my issues, and have reached a summit in my personal journey, which I am proud of. I know there still are mountains to climb but, I'll do them one at a time as they come before me. It's my passion in life to know myself better, just like my passion to write poetry. When I can combine them together, I am most happy.
Thank you for all of your very kind words. And thank you for an exceptional review, my friend. I cherish the reviews I receive from you.
Take care, Jesse
