The Boozy, Woozy Floozie
A lesson in restraint.8 total reviews
Comment from Dancemom
This is a cute little poem that is perfect for the drink poetry contest. I like the meter and rhyming pattern to your poem. I like how you wrote about a writer who can't get the job done because she drank too much. Great job and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
  |
This is a cute little poem that is perfect for the drink poetry contest. I like the meter and rhyming pattern to your poem. I like how you wrote about a writer who can't get the job done because she drank too much. Great job and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
-
Thanks for your review!
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow poet, hope this review finds you well. Thank you for sharing your poem, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
|
Hello fellow poet, hope this review finds you well. Thank you for sharing your poem, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
-
Thanks for your review!
Comment from Janice Canerdy
WOW! Also LOL! Your creatively composed, vividly descriptive poem certainly fulfills the prompt requirements. One sip, then another, on and on. Sloshed woman = no poem tonight!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
|
WOW! Also LOL! Your creatively composed, vividly descriptive poem certainly fulfills the prompt requirements. One sip, then another, on and on. Sloshed woman = no poem tonight!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Thanks for reviewing!
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
You've shown us clearly that to much of the bubbly doesn't mix well with writing. It would definitely hinder the flow of fluid and coherent sentences. You'd probably wake up the next morning wondering what that chicken scratch is that you've wrote down. Thanks for sharing this humorous and well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
|
You've shown us clearly that to much of the bubbly doesn't mix well with writing. It would definitely hinder the flow of fluid and coherent sentences. You'd probably wake up the next morning wondering what that chicken scratch is that you've wrote down. Thanks for sharing this humorous and well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Thanks for reviewing!
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the "The Drink Poetry" writing prompt.
This short verse tells of Lucy having to much to drink.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
|
I think this is a good entry for the "The Drink Poetry" writing prompt.
This short verse tells of Lucy having to much to drink.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Thanks for reviewing!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written fun and humorous poem about Lucy's drinking habit interferes with her writing quest. She cannot see straight and the lines is swimming. She will rather go to sleep before she drowns.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
|
A very well-written fun and humorous poem about Lucy's drinking habit interferes with her writing quest. She cannot see straight and the lines is swimming. She will rather go to sleep before she drowns.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
-
Thanks for your review!
Comment from phill doran
Hello "Anon Writer"
Even blind, I get a sense of the antipodean hand here. A very funny piece (says he, the teetotaler: as an Australian, you may need to reference the dictionary for the meaning).
In passing, I had difficulty with the last verse: a syllable short on line two and two or three too many on line four - it just jars when I read it (it may be my accent): Not these words but as an e.g.;
"...What will happen now that she's boozy?
Her poem may well become a doozy,
but Lucy's just a sozzled floozy,
and she'llnever not end finish it - she's feeling woozy..."
I mean no disrespect to your words and I wish you well with your continued writing.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
|
Hello "Anon Writer"
Even blind, I get a sense of the antipodean hand here. A very funny piece (says he, the teetotaler: as an Australian, you may need to reference the dictionary for the meaning).
In passing, I had difficulty with the last verse: a syllable short on line two and two or three too many on line four - it just jars when I read it (it may be my accent): Not these words but as an e.g.;
"...What will happen now that she's boozy?
Her poem may well become a doozy,
but Lucy's just a sozzled floozy,
and she'll
I mean no disrespect to your words and I wish you well with your continued writing.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Hello phill
thanks for your reviewing comments, pointing out the clunky bumps.
I initially had Lucy as "I", so it was part of the effect to be wonky. But I changed it to Lucy in case readers thought it was personal. I am not a drunkard.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
One too many for Lucy here and I heard that you should never drink alcohol and then expect to write anything that makes sense! Ha ha ha, this is a fun post with good rhyming, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
|
One too many for Lucy here and I heard that you should never drink alcohol and then expect to write anything that makes sense! Ha ha ha, this is a fun post with good rhyming, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2020
-
Thanks for your review!
