Love's Vision
The Japanese Kouta with a challenge41 total reviews
Comment from MamaBebop
Yvette, I love this Japanese format! Thank you for introducing it to me. I will definitely try it! Thank you for the challenge.
The two lovers whispering their dreams to each other the ultimate experience of romance for me.
Blessings, Beth
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
Yvette, I love this Japanese format! Thank you for introducing it to me. I will definitely try it! Thank you for the challenge.
The two lovers whispering their dreams to each other the ultimate experience of romance for me.
Blessings, Beth
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
-
Thanx so much for your review on this 'newly discovered' short form, Beth... gotta keep life interesting, ya know?! ;) :) Look forward to you're giving it a go! ;) :) Have a bright, sunshiny week! ;) Yvette
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Interesting format. Strong rhymes, alliteration, and personification. Lyrical lilt easy to detect. When with someone you care about whispered secrets and dreams are things one wants to share with them.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
Interesting format. Strong rhymes, alliteration, and personification. Lyrical lilt easy to detect. When with someone you care about whispered secrets and dreams are things one wants to share with them.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Thanx so much for your review on this 'newly discovered' short form, Brett... gotta keep life interesting, ya know?! ;) :) Have a bright, sunshiny weekend! ;) Yvette
Comment from Susan X Smith
This is a lovely short poem which introduced me to a previously unknown format. The words have a pleasing lilt and the brief rhyme works well. The picture is a nice addition.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
This is a lovely short poem which introduced me to a previously unknown format. The words have a pleasing lilt and the brief rhyme works well. The picture is a nice addition.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Thanx so much for your review on this 'newly discovered' short form, Susan... gotta keep life interesting, ya know?! ;) :) Have a bright, sunshiny weekend! ;) Yvette
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I counted syllables and would say this poem definitely fits the syllabic requirements. It has a lyrical quality, especially in lines 1 and 2. And also 4. There is 'd' alliteration with 'dew drop's' and personification with the word 'kiss.' There might even be said to be 's' alliteration with 'secrets,' 'stars,' and 'skin.' I hear 's' consonance with the end word of each lines. Nice job.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
I counted syllables and would say this poem definitely fits the syllabic requirements. It has a lyrical quality, especially in lines 1 and 2. And also 4. There is 'd' alliteration with 'dew drop's' and personification with the word 'kiss.' There might even be said to be 's' alliteration with 'secrets,' 'stars,' and 'skin.' I hear 's' consonance with the end word of each lines. Nice job.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Oh, Crystie, thanx so much for this awesome review on this 'newly discovered' short form. I ran across it over the holidays and decided to give it a go? you just made it worth the effort!! ;) Would love to see your pen see what it could do with it? !! ;) Thanx again and have a bright, sunshiny weekend! ;) Yvette Yvette
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fantasy write of hopeful dreams here and I liked the positiveness in your words Yvette. Our hopes and dreams are what we strive for, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
A fantasy write of hopeful dreams here and I liked the positiveness in your words Yvette. Our hopes and dreams are what we strive for, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Thanx so much for your review on this 'newly discovered' short form, Dolly... gotta keep life interesting, ya know?! ;) :) Have a bright, sunshiny weekend! ;) Yvette
Comment from Ricky1024
"Loves Vision"
A Japanese Kouta."
Sort of like an extended version of a Haiku 5 7-5.
...
Short and sweet right to the point.
"Dream a Little Dream of Me?"
...
Thanks Yvette!
Doctor Ricky 1024
"Still preaching the choir here at fanstory"
...
I was given that distinction not long after I joined this site 7 years ago by 'C Lucas.'
Or Charles...
Or Charlie Lucas the Great Western novelist!
...
And, after he bestowed that privilege on me...
He told me that basically he had been doing that for quite a few years also.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
"Loves Vision"
A Japanese Kouta."
Sort of like an extended version of a Haiku 5 7-5.
...
Short and sweet right to the point.
"Dream a Little Dream of Me?"
...
Thanks Yvette!
Doctor Ricky 1024
"Still preaching the choir here at fanstory"
...
I was given that distinction not long after I joined this site 7 years ago by 'C Lucas.'
Or Charles...
Or Charlie Lucas the Great Western novelist!
...
And, after he bestowed that privilege on me...
He told me that basically he had been doing that for quite a few years also.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Great moniker, Ricky -- Charles had it right: itsuits you well! ;) :) Thanx so much for your review on this 'newly discovered' short form, Doc... gotta keep life interesting, ya know?! ;) :) Have a bright, sunshiny weekend! ;) Yvette
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written kouta about two lovers who are in a private setting and whisper love words into each others' ears the things that make them excited to be around one another.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
A very well-written kouta about two lovers who are in a private setting and whisper love words into each others' ears the things that make them excited to be around one another.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Thanx so much for your review on this 'newly discovered' short form, Sandra... gotta keep life interesting, ya know?! ;) :) Have a bright, sunshiny weekend! ;) Yvette
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for introducing me to this Japanese form. I admired your use of the imperative and alliteration in this compelling poem. The artwork you selected thoroughly reinforces the theme and title of your Kouta. I'd like to try this form and hope my muse cooperates. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
Thank you for introducing me to this Japanese form. I admired your use of the imperative and alliteration in this compelling poem. The artwork you selected thoroughly reinforces the theme and title of your Kouta. I'd like to try this form and hope my muse cooperates. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 16-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
-
Thanx so much for your review on this 'newly discovered' short form, Joan... gotta keep life interesting, ya know?! ;) :) Look forward to you're giving it a go! ;) :) Have a bright, sunshiny week! ;) Yvette
Comment from June Sargent
I love this Japanese format! Will definitely try it! The imagery of two lovers whispering sweet nothings to each other is so romantic. And I like it with the rhymes. Thank you for the challenge!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
I love this Japanese format! Will definitely try it! The imagery of two lovers whispering sweet nothings to each other is so romantic. And I like it with the rhymes. Thank you for the challenge!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Hooray!! :) ;) I look forward to reading your 'swat', my lady - lol!! This is a form I ran across over the holidays and decided to give it a go! ;) Thanx for your enthusiasm and have a bright, sunshiny weekend!! ;) Yvette
Comment from lyenochka
Thanks for sharing about this new Japanese form that I never heard of before! And you created a sweet love poem using the 5575 syllables.
Did you prefer to have dewdrop as two words?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
Thanks for sharing about this new Japanese form that I never heard of before! And you created a sweet love poem using the 5575 syllables.
Did you prefer to have dewdrop as two words?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
-
Pretty sure that first line is 7, Helen... ;) :) And, yeah, we'll leave it as is. ;) Thanx for your review, ma'am! ;)