Love Long Distance
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Grandpa's Footprints!-Chapter 18"A Wartime Romance
26 total reviews
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
This is my first time reading your work and this was completely out pf context for me. And yet, I enjoyed the love the old couple holds for each other and the flashback memories. In the very beginning, the doctor telling them to gather around and pray was funny:-)
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
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This is my first time reading your work and this was completely out pf context for me. And yet, I enjoyed the love the old couple holds for each other and the flashback memories. In the very beginning, the doctor telling them to gather around and pray was funny:-)
Comment Written 13-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
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Hi Aaqib, First of all, welcome to FanStory! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. We encourage you to read our past chapters as well. Although it was out of context for you, we are glad you enjoyed it and found parts funny. We hope you continue to read along. Chapter 19 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you all the best in 2020.
Respectfully,
Bill and Cathy
Comment from Commando
"AWESOME!" Way-to-go, "HERO." Best Chapter yet, Co-Author! Now, let's go do Chapter 19. A "SALUTE, Best wishes and God Bless." Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Bill.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
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"AWESOME!" Way-to-go, "HERO." Best Chapter yet, Co-Author! Now, let's go do Chapter 19. A "SALUTE, Best wishes and God Bless." Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Bill.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
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"AWESOME!" Way-to-go! And you are the "HERO" because you are the one who made this chapter the best ever! And Chapter 19 is going to be even better! Thanks so much for the six stars and for making "Love Long Distance" so special! Best wishes and God Bless. Respectfully with Love and Admiration Always, Cathy
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
It's an intriguing story you're writing, with engaging characters. This is my first exposure to your novel.
I found some minor errors, but wasn't able to identify them all for you -- my phone was giving me problems highlighting text and copying it in to show corrections. There weren't a whole lot of errors but here are the ones I am able to show you:
Hi Darlin' What's the emergency?" --> Hi Darlin', what's the emergency?"
You used an expression, "Grandpa's made of strong chain" that I've never seen before. Maybe "strong stuff"?
I don't think "Right back atcha" was a colloquialism in the 60's (I was a child then).
And one general concern:
You switched between various points of view of different characters, and between past and present. I know you're using the asterisks to separate scenes and/or characters, and the large text to separate scenes in the past, but it would help if there was more consistency, or an easier way to know who was speaking right away.
At the same time, having the action take place in more than one era adds to the interest of your story and makes your novel more fascinating.
Your story is quite captivating and I hope to read more of it! I hope Bill doesn't die.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
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It's an intriguing story you're writing, with engaging characters. This is my first exposure to your novel.
I found some minor errors, but wasn't able to identify them all for you -- my phone was giving me problems highlighting text and copying it in to show corrections. There weren't a whole lot of errors but here are the ones I am able to show you:
Hi Darlin' What's the emergency?" --> Hi Darlin', what's the emergency?"
You used an expression, "Grandpa's made of strong chain" that I've never seen before. Maybe "strong stuff"?
I don't think "Right back atcha" was a colloquialism in the 60's (I was a child then).
And one general concern:
You switched between various points of view of different characters, and between past and present. I know you're using the asterisks to separate scenes and/or characters, and the large text to separate scenes in the past, but it would help if there was more consistency, or an easier way to know who was speaking right away.
At the same time, having the action take place in more than one era adds to the interest of your story and makes your novel more fascinating.
Your story is quite captivating and I hope to read more of it! I hope Bill doesn't die.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
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Hi Mary Kay! Welcome to FanStory! We both appreciate you stopping by to read and review this chapter. Thank you! All previous chapters are on this profile page, so we encourage you to check them out. Thank you also for you pointing out where a comma and lower case letter were needed. They've been fixed. Much appreciated! The "strong chain" saying dates back to biblical times, and is also the title of our previous chapter. Also, "Right back atcha" is a contraction of "back at you!" and has been used since the early '60s. We've kept those as is, but understand it may be that you haven't heard them before or during that time frame. We're happy you found this chapter captivating and want to read more. Chapter 19 is in the works and coming soon. God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
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Hi Bill and Cathy,
Thank you for the warm welcome. It's a pleasure to meet you.
I honestly never heard the "strong chain" idiom before, but clearly it's beyond my Google search, very interesting! I know of the "back at you!" contraction but didn't hear of it until recent times. Thank you for bringing me up to date, always happy to learn more :-)
I can see that you're lovely people. God bless you, too! Respect and admiration, reciprocated!
- Mary Kay
Comment from Janilou
Another wonderful installment. Love reading your story.
Notes:
"You, betcha it is, Billy! So, go do your chores, jump in bed, then get a heap of sleep. 'Cause we'll be leaving out when the roosters crows at daylight.(")
You need to add closing quotation marks here.
What a cliff hanger! Hope the next chapter is ready soon!
All the best,
Jan
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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
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Another wonderful installment. Love reading your story.
Notes:
"You, betcha it is, Billy! So, go do your chores, jump in bed, then get a heap of sleep. 'Cause we'll be leaving out when the roosters crows at daylight.(")
You need to add closing quotation marks here.
What a cliff hanger! Hope the next chapter is ready soon!
All the best,
Jan
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
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Hi Janilou! We are so happy you are enjoying our story. Thank you so much for reading this chapter! We both greatly appreciate your continued support. Thank you also for pointing out where a quotation mark was needed. It has been added. :) Chapter 19 is in the works and coming soon! God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Sasha
This was a fast pace and exciting chapter. I hope grampa gets better and I pray that Billy doesn't die... he's going to be a father and it is just too soon to take him out of the story. Great work with this one, kept me on the edge of my chair from beginning to end. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter. I am enjoying this story immensely.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
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This was a fast pace and exciting chapter. I hope grampa gets better and I pray that Billy doesn't die... he's going to be a father and it is just too soon to take him out of the story. Great work with this one, kept me on the edge of my chair from beginning to end. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter. I am enjoying this story immensely.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
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Hi Sasha! Thank you for the AWESOME six star rating and review. A double "SALUTE" for you! We are so glad you found this chapter exciting, and you are enjoying the story. Your continued support means so much to both of us! Chapter 19 will be coming soon. Hurrah! God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
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You are welcome.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
There's no way Billy can die now. If he does die, it would be have to be during the war, not by a semi. I can't wait to find out if Grandpa lives. I sure hope he does. He's important to the story. I do enjoy reading this.
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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
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There's no way Billy can die now. If he does die, it would be have to be during the war, not by a semi. I can't wait to find out if Grandpa lives. I sure hope he does. He's important to the story. I do enjoy reading this.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
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Hi Barbara! Thank you for reading and reviewing this--so quickly, too! Also, thank you for your continued support. Good thoughts on this chapter here. We're so glad you are enjoying the story. We'll be starting to work on Chapter 19 right away. Wishing you a wonderful week ahead. God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
