Reviews from

Hawk Soars

Hunter and hunted - nature's ploys

41 total reviews 
Comment from Therese Caron
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Very good 5-7-5 poem. Syllables are perfect, good word usage, and a nice topic. The picture you chose is a wonderful image to accompany your poem. Good contest entry. Best of luck.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Terri, Thank you for the review and comments.
Comment from evesayshi
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In my opinion, truer verse was never spoken - this then is the natural world, to be or not to be - though it is for survival and not for hate or envy. We dare not learn from nature, it could end all wars, and then what pursuits would garner our attention and engagement...

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Eve, thanks for validating my work.
reply by evesayshi on 13-Jan-2020
    You are very welcome indeed, JLR...Eve
Comment from Gail Denham
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What a competative world these poor animals live in - it's eat or be eaten. We see this in our neighborhood around here. We have coyotes, deer, rabbits, cougars, predatory birds. Right now we have three rather unafraid rabbits who come round to eat birdfood. Our small dog loves to chase them - he'd like to play with them I think.
Good poem

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Thank you for the review and comments
Comment from Sugarray77
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A like your focus on nature J... superb photo really plays a key note in keeping the awareness sharp and the hunted and the hunter as the main characters. We feel like we are part of the chase. Well done and good luck!!

Melissa

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Melissa, Thank you for the review and comments.
Comment from May 1
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I love your choice of words for this poem, it makes it really fun to read. Also, I like the image you chose for the poem. All in all, I really enjoyed reading this poem.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    May, Thank you for the review and comments.
Comment from jenintorre
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I do hope the bunny escapes the scary hawk. A very well written Haiku and well chosen artwork. I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Best wishes. Jen

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Jen, Thank you for the review and comments.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
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This is an excellent Haiku, describing a captivating scenario in nature. Nice photo. Many a rabbit has often scampered from a hawk, mostly for dear life! But the more experienced ones could have a touch of spite in their long hops (especially if they've lost family members to diving hawks).
Hawks probably catch the very young, the very old and the injured. They probably "thin the herd" (really the warren), helping to develop more acrobatic rabbits!
We have Red-tailed Hawks here in NYC. We once had more of a problem with pigeon droppings, but the pigeons have migrated to safer quarters. Our squirrels are still with us, because it's hard for the hawks to see through the canopy of old trees that still grow in front of many of these old buildings.
Great subject, great poem!

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Mary Kay, It is amazing how truly hardy flora and fauna can still be among the steel and concrete buildings in the Big City..of course, there is the magnificent Central park however.
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 13-Jan-2020
    So true!
Comment from lyenochka
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The struggle to eat and to survive is a dramatic thing in Nature! We see eagles and bunnies do the same thing here. I am not a haiku expert but here are some things I learned on this site:
1) try to condense to remove things like "the"
2) a haiku doesn't have to have 5/7/5 syllables
3) haiku needs to have a seasonal reference (a kigo) which I think you do by mentioning the hawk/rabbit
4) haiku needs to have a turn of idea (a satori) - a new understanding. You have something like it but not a strong one. I like how the first and last line has the hawk soaring vs. looking down
5) the typical title of a haiku: haiku(first line). The reason is the traditional haiku didn't have titles

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Thank you, yes condensed does smooth the edges! Thanks
Comment from Sharon Haiste
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I think this is a good entry for the Haiku Poetry contest.
The picture is a great match.
Well done and I wish you lots of luck with the contest.
Sharon

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Thank you for the review and comments.
Comment from Diana L Crawford
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The hawk is plentiful where I live and I live watching it soar. It is the closest to an Eagle's flight that I have seen here. We have a Eagle or two in the area near the river where I live but it is rare to catch site of them. Great Haiku! xoxo

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Thank you for the review and comments.
reply by Diana L Crawford on 13-Jan-2020
    My pleasure!