Reviews from

Aaron's Dragons

Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Battle Continues"
An aging knight finds a clutch of dragon eggs

16 total reviews 
Comment from Mistydawn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That was quite a suspenseful little piece. I'm just glad the dragons were such a big help, probably saved everyone's life. I'm glad to see he's going home where he can get some rest. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting, believable. A great continuum to your story.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
    Thanks. The dragons are earning their keep. I'm so glad you're still enjoying the story.
Comment from Sugarray77
Excellent
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Hi Cindy. Good writing. The intensity of the battle with the wizard uses great imaginative details... seeing thousands, grit blow in eyes, etc. all great choices for fantasy fiction. Well done.

Melissa

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
    Thanks. I'm so glad you enjoyed my story. Aaron is not a wizard. The dragons each have unique personalities and abilities. The enemy doesn't know about them, and they think Aaron is responsible. That's why they want to kill him.
reply by Sugarray77 on 12-Jan-2020
    Thanks for the explanation. It is helpful. :)

    Melissa
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It's nice to see the sense of camaraderie that you are developing here, an essential element in any successful fighting force.
Just one typo:

As Brown and Green ran out of venom, (t)he last ones bitten knew they were in trouble

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
    Thanks for the six! The typo is fixed. I agree, the camaraderie is important, and the dragons will have the right people on their side.
Comment from Sallyo
Excellent
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venom, he last
venom, the last
Another chapter! I've been hanging out for one. Apart from the tiny typo above, I have just one suggestion. The first paragraphs have a lot of "said NAME" constructions. My suggestion is to use "said" MOST of the time, but not quite ALL the time.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
    Thanks. Glad you enjoyed the story. The typo is fixed. I'll take another look at those first paragraphs. It's hard to judge. Sometimes reviewers can't tell who is talking.
reply by Sallyo on 13-Jan-2020
    Yes, I know. Maybe you could use two other terms, or else use an action tag.
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
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"The Battle Continues'
Is another well written chapter on your book entitled, "Aaron's Dragons"
...
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues as well.
...
It also was rich in Theme and Imagery.
And, the Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks and have a Blessed Sunday.
Doctor Ricky 1024


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 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
    Thanks Ricky. I'm so glad you're enjoying my book. Hope you're having a great weekend.
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
Excellent
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I found this to be a good read. Although, this was all out of context for me, as I have not read any of the previous chapters, it still managed to peak my interest. Well written piece that I hope to follow up on soon!

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 Comment Written 12-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
    Thanks. Yes, this is chapter 24 and it would be hard to join in now. The other chapters are all available in my portfolio if you're interested.