Comment from June Sargent

Excellent

Beautiful imagery of magnolias like pretty girls in white dresses at a dance! Spring is a time of fertility and growth. With the scattering of their lovely petals by the warm breezes, it does evoke visions of the Garden of Eden. Well done.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your interesting perspective on the poem. I think you got exactly what I wanted to say, and that makes me think the poem may have been successful estory

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi estory. I love the way you have personified the delicate and fragrant flower of the magnolia. One of my favourites as well. It's message that spring has arrived is undeniable. You've written a lovely free verse poem. It was a joy to read. All best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your continued support of my poetry, I appreciate it. I am glad you liked it; I think this book overall will be much more upbeat, than some of the others. Especially in this spring sequence. Easter is coming, but before that I will post a couple of short stories from the new collection I am putting together. estory

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Another lovely Suite addition and good use of simile with the Magnolia. A very nice descriptive piece and I particularly like your final two lines -

Dressed up for the season of blossom and seed
Passed down like fruit from the tree of life...... Very lovely.

Warm regards Dorothy xx

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting the poem. Glad you liked those last couple of lines. I think the first two lines and the last two lines are the ones that I built the poem around. estory

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Estory
Oh how good to find out there is another suite to read, about a beautiful flower named magnolia.
You have a wonderful way in your free verse of telling us the beauty of the season spring.
Gert

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting this poem. Glad you liked this one. Spring was fun to write about, and I think those are the ones sometimes that come off the best. estory

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Oh what a lovely description of one of my favorite trees, E -- there is no beauty that compares to a huge old magnolia in full bloom.... your description here is almost perfect!! ;) Thanx so much for the vision of the lady with bouquets... Maggie's many blossoms!! ;) Yvette

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting this poem. I think I really liked the first two lines in this poem, and then the last two, and kind of filled in the blanks and worked it through a few rewrites to mold into the fertility theme I wanted estory

Comment from Bill Pinder

Excellent

I enjoyed this free verse talking about spring and using the image of the girl at a dance. You chose an interesting allusion to the tree of life also. Thanks for this very creative and well done writing.
Bill

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting the poem. I am glad you liked it. I was after an articulation of the experience of fertility, of procreation, but with a spiritual imagery. If that makes sense. estory

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is another great free verse poem titled spring suite part !! Magnolia. You used very good descriptive words that make for great imagery also. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Blessings,Teri

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting this poem, glad you enjoyed it. estory

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written spring suite the magnolia that reminds of a little girl with a white dress waiting for a guy to ask her for the dance her blossom and seed passed down to others for the future.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting the poem. I think you got exactly what I was trying to say, so i'm glad the poem seems to have worked. estory

Comment from susand3022

Excellent

What this brings to my mind, right off the bat, is an old fashioned... and I mean really old fashioned, coming out party. Where the girl has been more or less cloistered until she's almost of marrying age. Then she 'comes out' into society as it were... to meet the right man and get married, thus staying pure as the driven snow for the occasion. Magnolias, a lovely flower. :)

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks for the excellent review and your take on the poem was spot on. That was exactly what I was getting at. I think I really liked the first two lines, and then the last two lines, and juggled and rejuggled the rest to get them to fit inbetween. Sometimes you have to do that. estory

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Love the imagery, tone and tenor as well as phrasing phonetics. The flow is great, but I stumble on the grammar in the first sentence. Also, I suggest using commas or fixing it another way.


Some suggestions:

A magnolia, like a girl in a white dress,
Waits for someone to ask her for a dance.

OR


A magnolia's like a girl in a white dress
Waiting for someone to ask her for a dance.


The personification of nature is superb, especially here:

All the blooming trees seem to swirl across the field
To the rhythm of light and a gentle breeze,
Dressed up for the season of blossom and seed
Passed down like fruit from the tree of life.


I forgot to mention in my recent review that the poem (that one, and this one too) has a lot of enjambment so capping each line is not ideal, in my opinion. I suggest sentence style capitalization. Optional, of course.

Great job again!

Warmly,
rd

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 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks so much for the excellent review and all the comments and suggestions. I'm old fashioned, so I like to cap out the lines in poetry, but I see what you're saying. Maybe I will try it in a more free flowing style someday and see how it goes... I kind of liked those first two lines. I think they are the best lines of the poem. Very Seamus Heaney, actually, I think. estory

reply by rama devi on 10-Jan-2020

I'm not sure who that is?

Seamus...should I know him?

Warmly,
rd

reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020

Seamus Heaney, the Nobel prize winning poet? He's a must for the bookshelf, I would say. Get Poems 1965-1975, that contains his first four books, Death of a Naturalist, Door into the Dark, Wintering Out and North. And then read Field Work. He is probably best known for his translation of Beowulf. estory

reply by rama devi on 10-Jan-2020

Thanks! The name sounds vaguely familiar but I had not read him. I'll visit the library soon!
Warmly, rd