Celtic Roots
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Life: learning the ropes"Autobiography of an oldest son lost in a family
7 total reviews
Comment from WryWriter
What a great bio story you have written! This chapter transitions smoothly from paragraph to paragraph and keeps the reader glued to the page. Your descriptions of the hardship endured were excellent. Each person brought to life by your skilled use of real character traits. I enjoyed reading your work!
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2020
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What a great bio story you have written! This chapter transitions smoothly from paragraph to paragraph and keeps the reader glued to the page. Your descriptions of the hardship endured were excellent. Each person brought to life by your skilled use of real character traits. I enjoyed reading your work!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2020
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I can't thank you enjoy for the time and comments. Your six-star review certainly helps me to move ahead into the next chapter,
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Interesting story, the life in immigration is not great, but coming as a child gives you certain advantages then when you come as an adult. Step by step the child grows up and integrates easily in the new society, the adult will carry always a certain nostalgia for the place of origin. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2020
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Interesting story, the life in immigration is not great, but coming as a child gives you certain advantages then when you come as an adult. Step by step the child grows up and integrates easily in the new society, the adult will carry always a certain nostalgia for the place of origin. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2020
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Iza, thank you
Comment from beizanten
A good title and interesting background summary. A well written and interesting opening paragraph. a well written and engaging plotline. The main character's emotion flow strongly throughout the story bringing into life.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2020
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A good title and interesting background summary. A well written and interesting opening paragraph. a well written and engaging plotline. The main character's emotion flow strongly throughout the story bringing into life.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the vote of confidence. I am writing about life's realities and I appreciate the encouragement to go forward.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a very convincing description of poverty, and how children cope with it.
What I found slightly difficult to assess was what era we were in, and especially I was disappointed that the brogue didn't peek through?
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2020
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This is a very convincing description of poverty, and how children cope with it.
What I found slightly difficult to assess was what era we were in, and especially I was disappointed that the brogue didn't peek through?
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2020
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Katherine, the mid 1950's The brogue quite literally was forced away to assimilate as fast as possible. I did incorporate Irish in chapter one when still in Ireland.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
What an amazing story! I'm happy to read more of it. Your life growing up as a young Irish immigrant boy was full of challenges, surprises, the beautiful and the ugly.
I did see a number of grammatical errors, but if you publish this (and I hope you will) you will have people help you correct them. I've pointed out a few in one paragraph, I think it's the sixth one down, it starts,
"The one time, each day..."
The words should be "the best and the worse" should be "the best and the worst."
In "These times, I soon realized, was," "was" should be "were."
After "the games they played," you should continue the sentence with a comma, continuing "and..." otherwise the next bit is just a fragment.
"It was on one freezing day in November, " could start a new paragraph. (I liked this part of the story very much. My husband, who also got into some fights as a child, tells me that the adults often considered who started it, what motivated the scuffle and the relative sizes of the children involved.)
Your Mam is a fascinating figure. She's only 25 here! Beautiful, yet sickly; entertaining men for money, even while suffering illness. It must have been a rude awakening when you realized where she was getting the extra money. It's hard to judge her, when you were poor, and she was also sick. How on earth did she do it? And to give extras to her children with the money... that's a mother's love. I'm sure it didn't help that she had been so abused by your Da, back in Ireland. Such a beautiful woman, her self-esteem must have taken a beating, too. I'm sorry if this is too personal, but I am sure you have thought long and hard on these matters by now. Thank you for continuing to share your family story.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
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What an amazing story! I'm happy to read more of it. Your life growing up as a young Irish immigrant boy was full of challenges, surprises, the beautiful and the ugly.
I did see a number of grammatical errors, but if you publish this (and I hope you will) you will have people help you correct them. I've pointed out a few in one paragraph, I think it's the sixth one down, it starts,
"The one time, each day..."
The words should be "the best and the worse" should be "the best and the worst."
In "These times, I soon realized, was," "was" should be "were."
After "the games they played," you should continue the sentence with a comma, continuing "and..." otherwise the next bit is just a fragment.
"It was on one freezing day in November, " could start a new paragraph. (I liked this part of the story very much. My husband, who also got into some fights as a child, tells me that the adults often considered who started it, what motivated the scuffle and the relative sizes of the children involved.)
Your Mam is a fascinating figure. She's only 25 here! Beautiful, yet sickly; entertaining men for money, even while suffering illness. It must have been a rude awakening when you realized where she was getting the extra money. It's hard to judge her, when you were poor, and she was also sick. How on earth did she do it? And to give extras to her children with the money... that's a mother's love. I'm sure it didn't help that she had been so abused by your Da, back in Ireland. Such a beautiful woman, her self-esteem must have taken a beating, too. I'm sorry if this is too personal, but I am sure you have thought long and hard on these matters by now. Thank you for continuing to share your family story.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
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Mary Kay, Mega thanks! I captured all those nuances and made corrections, I am so grateful. In spite of my Mam's idiosyncrasies, she was my mother and I did come to a place in life that I was able to make peace with everything and everyone -- She was not a saint, however, I do know that she did what was in her capabilities out of love.
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It's beautiful that you can see your mother with eyes of love, even without looking through rose-colored glasses. It's a blessing to make peace with one's past, especially the people involved. You're very welcome.
Comment from Sally Law
Dear Jim, Happy New Year! I'm glad to see you writing. This is emotionally packed as the others, even more so. It is hard to see the morally bankrupt side of our own parents. I saw and heard things I wished I hadn't. Thank you for sharing such a personal autobiography. It takes an enormous amount of courage to do so.
I see you made the necessary changes and I upgraded your score.
All my best to you and yours,
Sally :))
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
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Dear Jim, Happy New Year! I'm glad to see you writing. This is emotionally packed as the others, even more so. It is hard to see the morally bankrupt side of our own parents. I saw and heard things I wished I hadn't. Thank you for sharing such a personal autobiography. It takes an enormous amount of courage to do so.
I see you made the necessary changes and I upgraded your score.
All my best to you and yours,
Sally :))
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
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Sally, as always, thank you, I did go back through these and a few others that have been pointed out.
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I see that. I updated your score and cleaned up the review. Sal xo
Comment from Brenda Elizabeth Rose
I enjoyed your chapter. Your life seems to be hard, especially the move from Ireland to a new country. It reminds me a bit of the novel "Angela's Ashes". Well written and told story. I was surprised at the last line. To take hand-outs is hard. I hope your life is better now. Thank you for sharing this interesting but sad chapter with us. ~Brenda
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
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I enjoyed your chapter. Your life seems to be hard, especially the move from Ireland to a new country. It reminds me a bit of the novel "Angela's Ashes". Well written and told story. I was surprised at the last line. To take hand-outs is hard. I hope your life is better now. Thank you for sharing this interesting but sad chapter with us. ~Brenda
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
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Brenda, While starting out was difficult, I would not change many of the days I have lived. Difficulty comes to each and everyone, living through it is not a solo act, God played a major role in my life along with a hand few of awesome mentors who were life coaches!
