Love Long Distance
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Strong Chain - Chapter 17"A Wartime Romance
21 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Bill & Cathy,
This collaborative chapter is AWESOME! The attention to detail, the video references, the dialogue, and the great imagery all add to the enjoyment, poignancy, and believability of your story.
The setting is described well which makes readers feel a part of the story. Both the log cabin where Cathy is with Grandma and Grandpa and the training location with Bill and his team on their training mission are easily pictured by readers.
The videos are great supporting elements to your story. The 2 dandelion ones are a stark contrast to the one of the little girl with the premise of the bomb wiping out everything on the Earth. But, they show the state of society in 1964--the turmoil among the common day-to-day living. This is a great way to ground the setting of the year of this story. Adding these in the story could be all that some would do. But, you add the videos to further emphasize the state of politics, the war, and the regular goings on of society.
The dialogue of Grandma, Grandpa, and Cathy is natural. It is easy to see the closeness of the three and their love for each other. Even in the face of Grandpa's heart attack, Grandma shows her strong will and faith. Bill's earlier description of his premonition of this event is eerie. I like how you continued with premonitions as you had introduced that idea in the last chapter. Readers get more insight into Bill's character when he is talking to himself and thinking about his training and the war. They feel his bond with his team (and they with him), his wish to end the killing, and his longing for normalcy. His thoughts as to what he will tell Cathy when he phones her is awesome. His words are poetic and filled with imagery and love. I like how you italicized them. Those words could/should be written into a free-verse poem--they are beautiful. Every woman should be so lucky to have her significant other write and recite them to her.
The scene where Cathy sees and realizes the desperation of Grandpa's heart attack is well written although poignant. As Grandpa is such a driving force in Bill's life, he will be remembered even if the worse happens.
Thank you, both, for sharing, this AWESOME chapter. I look forward to Chapter 18.
Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Jan
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Bill & Cathy,
This collaborative chapter is AWESOME! The attention to detail, the video references, the dialogue, and the great imagery all add to the enjoyment, poignancy, and believability of your story.
The setting is described well which makes readers feel a part of the story. Both the log cabin where Cathy is with Grandma and Grandpa and the training location with Bill and his team on their training mission are easily pictured by readers.
The videos are great supporting elements to your story. The 2 dandelion ones are a stark contrast to the one of the little girl with the premise of the bomb wiping out everything on the Earth. But, they show the state of society in 1964--the turmoil among the common day-to-day living. This is a great way to ground the setting of the year of this story. Adding these in the story could be all that some would do. But, you add the videos to further emphasize the state of politics, the war, and the regular goings on of society.
The dialogue of Grandma, Grandpa, and Cathy is natural. It is easy to see the closeness of the three and their love for each other. Even in the face of Grandpa's heart attack, Grandma shows her strong will and faith. Bill's earlier description of his premonition of this event is eerie. I like how you continued with premonitions as you had introduced that idea in the last chapter. Readers get more insight into Bill's character when he is talking to himself and thinking about his training and the war. They feel his bond with his team (and they with him), his wish to end the killing, and his longing for normalcy. His thoughts as to what he will tell Cathy when he phones her is awesome. His words are poetic and filled with imagery and love. I like how you italicized them. Those words could/should be written into a free-verse poem--they are beautiful. Every woman should be so lucky to have her significant other write and recite them to her.
The scene where Cathy sees and realizes the desperation of Grandpa's heart attack is well written although poignant. As Grandpa is such a driving force in Bill's life, he will be remembered even if the worse happens.
Thank you, both, for sharing, this AWESOME chapter. I look forward to Chapter 18.
Respectfully with Love and Admiration, Jan
Comment Written 03-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Hi Jan. AWESOME! Thank you SO MUCH for this AMAZING six star rating and review! A double "SALUTE!" Your detailed reviews are so helpful, and we both appreciate all you've shared. YOU ARE WONDERFUL! We are so glad you are enjoying this novel as we write it. Your continued support means so much to us! Chapter 18 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you good health and much happiness in 2020! God Bless.
Respectfully with Love and Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Tootie. I have to mention the "Daisy" commercial. I wrote about that many months ago. As a HS student, I remember seeing that spot. LBJ only ran it small number of times. It was awful. The politics of it set my preferences in STONE.
During the interludes from training Commando's thoughts were not of war but of Cathy, with the exception of the premonition of Grandpa. Excellent. Robert
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Hello Tootie. I have to mention the "Daisy" commercial. I wrote about that many months ago. As a HS student, I remember seeing that spot. LBJ only ran it small number of times. It was awful. The politics of it set my preferences in STONE.
During the interludes from training Commando's thoughts were not of war but of Cathy, with the exception of the premonition of Grandpa. Excellent. Robert
Comment Written 03-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Hello Robert! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter.Thank you, also, for your mention of the "Daisy" commercial. We have made an edit to it. We really appreciate the help, as well as the continued support. Glad you found this chapter excellent. Chapter 18 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you all the best in this new year. God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
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Hi Tootie. You're welcome.
Comment from Janilou
I can certainly relate to the disrupted sleep as it's four in the morning here and I am up, reviewing works on FanStory after waking up with knee pain. Sigh.
Now, to your wonderful story. I continue to love reading every chapter. I don't know how, but you guys manage to make every chapter both fascinating, moving and easy to follow and read.
No errors found.
All the best,
Jan
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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I can certainly relate to the disrupted sleep as it's four in the morning here and I am up, reviewing works on FanStory after waking up with knee pain. Sigh.
Now, to your wonderful story. I continue to love reading every chapter. I don't know how, but you guys manage to make every chapter both fascinating, moving and easy to follow and read.
No errors found.
All the best,
Jan
Comment Written 03-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Hi Janilou! Awww...you are so sweet! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Also, for your continued support. It makes us smile to know you love our story, and you find it fascinating, moving and easy to follow and read. God Bless You!! Chapter 18 is already in the works and coming soon. Wishing you all the best in 2020!
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Nice wish for peace and understanding but nobody control the faith of a war and it takes the tool of the many lives. This phrase made me laugh :""Sweet Jesus! You're having too many of those these days. I'm scheduling you an appointment with our psychiatrist. Of course, after talking with you, he'll probably need counseling as well". The promotion come to true, so sad when our dears ones are choosing a different path- death,
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Nice wish for peace and understanding but nobody control the faith of a war and it takes the tool of the many lives. This phrase made me laugh :""Sweet Jesus! You're having too many of those these days. I'm scheduling you an appointment with our psychiatrist. Of course, after talking with you, he'll probably need counseling as well". The promotion come to true, so sad when our dears ones are choosing a different path- death,
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Hi Iza, Very true what you share here. Glad the line gave you a chuckle! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Also, thank you for your continued support. It means so much to both of us! Chapter 18 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you all the best in 2020. God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Sasha
I am so pleased I have a 6 to give you for this post. It is superbly written with terrific dialogue and vivid descriptions. I am enjoying this book very much and anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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I am so pleased I have a 6 to give you for this post. It is superbly written with terrific dialogue and vivid descriptions. I am enjoying this book very much and anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Hi Sasha. Thank you SO MUCH for the EXCEPTIONAL six star rating and review! A double "SALUTE!" You are AWESOME! Your continued support means so much to us. We're so glad you are enjoying this book, and you are anxious to read the next chapter. It's already in the works and coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful 2020! God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am sorry, I am all out of sixes or I would give this post one. I don't want Grandpa to die. He's so important on holding this family together. I will have to wait and see.
'Grandpa, I did most of the catching didn't I?' (comma needed after catching)
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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I am sorry, I am all out of sixes or I would give this post one. I don't want Grandpa to die. He's so important on holding this family together. I will have to wait and see.
'Grandpa, I did most of the catching didn't I?' (comma needed after catching)
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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H Barbara! No worries about the extra star. Cathy will have Bill reach up into the sky and get one. Then you know what we'll do? We'll give it to you because we are so grateful for your continued support! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Chapter 18 is already in the works and coming soon. Wishing you all the best in 2020! God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
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Thank you for the precious answer
Comment from Mistydawn
This is another very well-written, interesting chapter. Your dialogue seems natural and your characters really came to life. I do hope grandpa will be alright. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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This is another very well-written, interesting chapter. Your dialogue seems natural and your characters really came to life. I do hope grandpa will be alright. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Hi Mistydawn! Your continued support means so much to us! Thank you for reading and reviewing this chapter. We're happy that you look forward to reading more. Bill is going to be very upset when he finds out about Grandpa! Chapter 18 is in the works and coming soon. Wishing you all the best in 2020! God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Bill Pinder
Thanks for sharing this well-written story about fighting in Vietnam while the girlfriend is at home and both are dealing with their own tough situations. Have a great new year!
Bill
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Thanks for sharing this well-written story about fighting in Vietnam while the girlfriend is at home and both are dealing with their own tough situations. Have a great new year!
Bill
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Hi Bill! We both wish you a great new year as well! Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review this chapter. Your support means a lot to us! Stay tuned--Chapter 18 is already in the works and coming soon. God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from Ricky1024
This is Well written rich in theme and imagery.
Was quite wrong but it was very interesting.
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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This is Well written rich in theme and imagery.
Was quite wrong but it was very interesting.
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Hi Doctor Ricky! Thanks for stopping by to read and review this chapter. Glad you found it well written. Thank you also for your continued support. Chapter 18 is in the works and coming soon. Have a wonderful 2020! God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
Comment from RShipp
Yes, you did leave us hanging again.
"Oh, did I mention, that's not a 'premonition'--it's an order!" My favorite line from this episode!
As always, looking forward to the next installment.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Yes, you did leave us hanging again.
"Oh, did I mention, that's not a 'premonition'--it's an order!" My favorite line from this episode!
As always, looking forward to the next installment.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
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Hi RShipp! Welcome to FanStory! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. Thank you also for mentioning your favorite line. We're so glad you will be following along! All of our previous chapters are available to read here, and Chapter 18 is in works and coming soon. Wishing you a wonderful 2020! God Bless.
Respectfully with Admiration,
Bill & Cathy
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Thanks
