Reviews from

Pash Rash

An adult erotic story no warning required

8 total reviews 
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a good entry into the contest. Sounds as if the subject of the story is "warming up to the idea" of an erotic interlude, even though she doesn't claim interest in one. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
    Ha Ha Marilyn, Not likely in the heat LOL. I couldn't resist writing this piece as I sat sweltering in the hot summer heat and saw this contest and started to laugh. My husband though I was nuts actually smiled when I read out my writing and so I posted it not thnking of anything other than another cold drink. It actually scored an equal second place. LOL
    My other Christmas story 'The wishing stone' gained a committe voted second and that really made me happy knowing how hard it is to get anywhere in those contests
    Hope you had a good start to 2020 we have
    Cheers Chrisx
reply by BeasPeas on 02-Jan-2020
    Well congrats to you, Christine. That's wonderful. Marilyn
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yeah, you don't want to get hot and sweaty just sitting around. If you're going to get hot and sweaty, then, let it be during pleasurable activities as you've so eloquently stated. Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
    Ha Ha Thanks Jeffrey I had fun writing this Cheers
Comment from beizanten
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very interesting choice of title and beginning paragraph. An interesting and engaging plotline. Is this still consider erotic if there is no sex. Regardless a very good story, good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    Hi Beizanten Thanks for your review sorry about the lack of erotic content but that was the best I could do on a such a hot day LOL .This is very much a tongue in cheek piece. Cheers
Comment from giraffmang
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi there,

you may be running the risk of disqualification here as you've swopped about the words in the opening line. This will probably be deemed an infraction. It should be thirty and tired.

Too bloody hot for a nookie. - I don't think you need the 'a' before 'nookie'.

I am tired and thirsty, but far from feeling erotic. Too bloody hot for a nookie. This would be the last thing on my mind at the moment - I'm not sure this works. if it's the last thing on the narrator's mind, why is it the first thing they comment on. I don't believe it works in first person.

All I can do, is too keep trapsing - to keep.

wet my face cloth with the icy water.- facecloth can be a single word here.

Even after several trip throughout today - trips.

has a way of sapping ones energy. - one's.

little hints of breeze that is sent in- as hints is plural it should really be are sent.

I enjoyed this piece. i think the voice/tone is spot on but it does need a little tinkering.
GMG

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    Hi giraffmang, Thanks for reading and for the heads up re the opening line. I guess I was tired from the heat. This was very much a tongue in cheek piece and I needed to write in the first person as that is how I viewed the whole situation during the oppresive heat we had yesterday. So forgive my levity in the contest content. I have re edited and changed the lines as suggested but left 'a nookie' as that is how we say it .Have a nookie' singular not just nookie plural . It has cooled down LOL Cheers for your comments
Comment from Lobber
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi,
All I could think of was Irving Berlin's lyrics:
We're having a heat wave,
A tropical heat wave,
The temperature's rising,
It isn't surprising.
She certainly can can-can.

Somehow I can't imagine youre up to doing the can-can.
- Lobber

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    No certainly not, not even a slow fox trot LOL Thank for your review Cheers Stay cool
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, your story is very amusing. Sometimes our more basic bodily needs become much more important than erotic desires. Our society would have us believe that we're always panting after the next sexual union, but if we're tired, hungry, thirsty, itchy, uncomfortable, or feeling sick in any way, often sex is far from our minds -- although everyone is different, and one can't always generalize. But for most of us, if we're honest (and especially if we're not young pups anymore), sexual needs can often take a backseat to more pressing physical conditions.
You have some spelling errors that I won't go into here -- I think spellcheck would catch at least some of them.
I enjoyed your story, which reflects a refreshing honesty!

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    Hi MaryKay Thanks for your review and yes the hot weather will kill off desire LOL I have revisited the spelling and hopefully have corrected most of them Cheers
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

HA ha ha pretty funny and twisted story and you put the warning signs in place. No sex on a thirsty stomach and on a super hot weather, indefinitely no hunky punky when you can get a o
Pash rush in the middle. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    Hi Iza Thanks for reviewing my not erotic story LOL I saw the funny side of being in the sweltering heat and this contest request No thanks Ha Ha Cheers
Comment from Pam Norris
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a fun piece to read. It's a nice twist on the contest prompt. I hope by now its cooled down a little. Good luck in the competition.
Happy New Year!

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    Hi Pam Thanks for taking a chance to read my story LOL it is damm hot here over 40 degrees and waiting for a cool change hopefully this evening ai thought my erotic story may raise a smile Cheers and Happy New Year to you have a good one