Still Here
I love my aging mother and want to be there for her.28 total reviews
Comment from Janilou
Such a moving and beautiful tribute to your mother and also to your brother. It brought me to tears which is automatically six stars if I have them. I found no errors in your work.
Now you need help, more than me,
And who is there for you?
I wish I could return even a tenth of the efforts you've made for me!
I have little strength,
But I am trying to make your life better,
Even a little easier,
A little happier,
Less painful.
These words in particular meant a lot to me. I have five adult children and I am close to all of them. To know they love me and want to take care of me in my old age (as they have said) means the world to me, as I am certain it does to your mother. It gives me hope that for all the mistakes made during the parenting years - all the regrets and wishing things could have been easier or better, I must have something right because my adult children love me.
I too, spent several years as a single parent to my first four children. I remarried and we had one more - she is a blessing to us, and the youngest of course - now almost twenty years old. Where does the time fly to?
I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. We lost my step-daughter,(my husband's daughter) earlier this year and it's not something you get over. Somehow you learn to live with it and go on.
All the best,
Jan
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
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Such a moving and beautiful tribute to your mother and also to your brother. It brought me to tears which is automatically six stars if I have them. I found no errors in your work.
Now you need help, more than me,
And who is there for you?
I wish I could return even a tenth of the efforts you've made for me!
I have little strength,
But I am trying to make your life better,
Even a little easier,
A little happier,
Less painful.
These words in particular meant a lot to me. I have five adult children and I am close to all of them. To know they love me and want to take care of me in my old age (as they have said) means the world to me, as I am certain it does to your mother. It gives me hope that for all the mistakes made during the parenting years - all the regrets and wishing things could have been easier or better, I must have something right because my adult children love me.
I too, spent several years as a single parent to my first four children. I remarried and we had one more - she is a blessing to us, and the youngest of course - now almost twenty years old. Where does the time fly to?
I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. We lost my step-daughter,(my husband's daughter) earlier this year and it's not something you get over. Somehow you learn to live with it and go on.
All the best,
Jan
Comment Written 31-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
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Thank you deeply, Jan, for the six-star review, and for all your comments and everything you shared. Thanks especially for sharing your response to my mother and to my brother. I also broke down crying when I read this to Mom.
Yes, I think all parents make mistakes, but when they truly love us, that love greatly overshadows any errors in judgment or human frailties they had along the way. Especially when they are aging, there are things we need to overlook, but they needed a lot of patience to raise their children, too, including us! One can never read 1 Corinthians chapter 13, too many times -- it contains universal truths about love. "[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
(I Corinthians 13:7, NKJV) It's often read at weddings, but should also be read at baptisms and baby dedications. It shouldn't matter whether a person is Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, atheist or in any other belief system, because it's simply, profoundly about love.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your step-daughter. You're right, it's not something you get over. I've learned what a shock it is, for children to predecease their parents. Unfortunately, it's happened to every generation of my family, from my great-grandparents' generation, to my Mom. I don't have children of my own.
It's lovely that you have a blended family. I'm grateful for a kind and loving husband, and of course, for my devoted mother, although I continue to pray for her healing, because I don't like to see her suffering as she is - in pain, and unable to walk. She's in rehab, and I really hope it helps her, by the grace of God. Thank you for your compassion, and sharing!
Comment from Gail Denham
What a lovely tribute to your mom - and how many moms have this job - to raise children by themselves.- and yet have time to chat - to teach them about life. A great poem for your mom.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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What a lovely tribute to your mom - and how many moms have this job - to raise children by themselves.- and yet have time to chat - to teach them about life. A great poem for your mom.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Thank you so much for your beautiful review and for your thoughts.
Comment from Patty Palmer
What a beautiful tribute to your mom. Filled with memories, most good, but some sad. Your mom must be a beautiful lady because she raised you to be caring and loving too. Caring and loving are things that can't be taught. Those are learned by imitating how you've seen others act and by the sounds of it she showed you how. Now that you've made me have a few tears I wish you well and your mom too.
Patty
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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What a beautiful tribute to your mom. Filled with memories, most good, but some sad. Your mom must be a beautiful lady because she raised you to be caring and loving too. Caring and loving are things that can't be taught. Those are learned by imitating how you've seen others act and by the sounds of it she showed you how. Now that you've made me have a few tears I wish you well and your mom too.
Patty
Comment Written 30-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Thank you so very much, Patty, I am so grateful for your 6-star rating! I appreciate what you wrote about my Mom, and everything you said. Thanks so much for your good wishes, God bless you too!
Comment from Susan Larson
What a beautiful tribute to your mother. How pleased she must be to know that you appreciated all those extra things she did like cleaning your dorm room with Pinesol. What a happy ending to your poem but not to the end of your story.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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What a beautiful tribute to your mother. How pleased she must be to know that you appreciated all those extra things she did like cleaning your dorm room with Pinesol. What a happy ending to your poem but not to the end of your story.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Thank you very much, Susan. Yes, she is pleased to know of my appreciation and she really loved this poem about her! Yes, the poem does have a happy ending, but the story isn't over yet, if that's what you mean. By the grace of God and with much prayer, I hope we can make things better for Mom at this stage in her life.
Comment from susand3022
Hi Mary Kay, this is just a lovely Free Verse tribute to your mother. She sounds like she's a strong woman. I feel the same about my own mom. Although, thank goodness, she didn't have to do it herself, I have the best dad, she still did an amazing job of running a household and stretching a budget to handle 4 kids, all while she stayed home and took care of us. (at least until we were all in jr. high when she got a part-time job) Moms... they're phenomenal. :)
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Hi Mary Kay, this is just a lovely Free Verse tribute to your mother. She sounds like she's a strong woman. I feel the same about my own mom. Although, thank goodness, she didn't have to do it herself, I have the best dad, she still did an amazing job of running a household and stretching a budget to handle 4 kids, all while she stayed home and took care of us. (at least until we were all in jr. high when she got a part-time job) Moms... they're phenomenal. :)
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Thank you very much for your beautiful review, and for your lovely comments about my Mom. She is a strong woman but is going through a tough time right now. So good to know that you also had a home with so much love! God bless you and your family, Happy New Year!
Comment from lyenochka
Lovely poem of gratitude and commitment! I can relate to you as my mom is in pain and lives very far away. I think you did a great job with your free verse and I hope you sent the poem to your mom.
To make it more poetic, you can lose some of the things used in prose and add more poetic devices like alliteration, assonance, repetition in the right places to weave the poem together.
I think you might want to change the category from General to Biographical. It's not necessary - it just may result in different people reviewing.
Welcome to Fanstory!
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2019
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Lovely poem of gratitude and commitment! I can relate to you as my mom is in pain and lives very far away. I think you did a great job with your free verse and I hope you sent the poem to your mom.
To make it more poetic, you can lose some of the things used in prose and add more poetic devices like alliteration, assonance, repetition in the right places to weave the poem together.
I think you might want to change the category from General to Biographical. It's not necessary - it just may result in different people reviewing.
Welcome to Fanstory!
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2019
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Thank you very much for your wonderful review. I'm sorry that your mother is in a similar situation, and that you're a long distance away. I'm not as far off, but without a car (or a driver's license), it's a difficult trip, or an expensive one. On our last visit, I read my poem to her, and I couldn't hold back my tears. I think she was crying, too. I have to print out a copy somewhere before see her next.
She's in a rehab facility now, but may soon return home -- which is a whole other issue. There are some serious dilemmas regarding long term care, and we are praying.
Thank you for your advice and suggestions on improving the poem. Once it's in the contest and being reviewed, I don't think I can alter it here, but I don't know all the rules. I should probably leave it be, and work on it offline when I feel ready. I did use your suggestion to change the category, because Biographical is more appropriate. I also decided it needed some color! So I fixed that. Thank you for everything.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
What a wonderful offering for this contest and a beautiful tribute to a mother who is loved... be sure to share a copy with her! ;) Thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest! :) Yvette
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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What a wonderful offering for this contest and a beautiful tribute to a mother who is loved... be sure to share a copy with her! ;) Thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest! :) Yvette
Comment Written 27-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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Thank you very much for your lovely review! Yes, I did read this to Mom when I visited her in the rehab where she's temporarily staying. I couldn't keep the tears from my eyes, and I think she was crying, too. Out of all the great reviews I've had, you're actually the first person who's suggested that -- and yes, she wants her own copy! I have to get to a printer and make her one before her 83rd birthday (God bless her!), which is right around the corner. God bless you, too. Thanks for everything you said.
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And be sure to laminate it as well so that it cannot be ruined!! Blessings and A Joyous New Year to you both!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Wabigoon
I like the sentiment here. The "talkiness" maybe distracts from the "poem" aspect. Maybe you could be less "prosy?" And I don't think you need to apologize for not doing everything you maybe think you should be doing. It sounds a bit like whining. Do what you are doing and call it enough.
Thanks for the poems
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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I like the sentiment here. The "talkiness" maybe distracts from the "poem" aspect. Maybe you could be less "prosy?" And I don't think you need to apologize for not doing everything you maybe think you should be doing. It sounds a bit like whining. Do what you are doing and call it enough.
Thanks for the poems
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 27-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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Thank you for your excellent rating and honest review.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written poem you have penned about family and people that has been in your life and is still here. You used very good descriptive words and a very lovely picture. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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This is a very well written poem you have penned about family and people that has been in your life and is still here. You used very good descriptive words and a very lovely picture. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 27-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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Thank you for your great review and everything you wrote. I appreciate it very much. Love and blessings to you, too.
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you are so welcome. May God bless you! Teri
Comment from Sugarray77
Very well written, Mary Kay. Your heartfelt free verse poem is so touching and tender hearted. Your emotions shine through with your love for your mother. You transferred that into verse very well. Good luck.
Melissa
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Very well written, Mary Kay. Your heartfelt free verse poem is so touching and tender hearted. Your emotions shine through with your love for your mother. You transferred that into verse very well. Good luck.
Melissa
Comment Written 25-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2019
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Thank you so very much, Melissa. I am blessed by your encouraging review and Excellent rating of my poem. May God bless you, too!
