A Shadow On The Street
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Homeless Network"One man's blessing can be another's curse.
16 total reviews
Comment from Pam Norris
I really enjoyed this piece. The characters were easy to visualise and the story flowed well. It also had a happy ending and I do love a happy ending.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I really enjoyed this piece. The characters were easy to visualise and the story flowed well. It also had a happy ending and I do love a happy ending.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I always try to leave a story with a hopeful ending. Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from Sally Law
An action-packed read, Mike. I'm jumping in mid-stream here, but I'm sure to catch on. I always enjoy the gospel message laced throughout your stories. :)
A small improvement, if I may. In conversational dialogue, stay away from too many he said, she saids in a row. For example:
Revise this area for both grammar and smoothness. "Do you know (someone) (who) (would) pass Mr. Davis a note without him knowing? Caleb and Kathy agreed on Jack Johnston." I hope this is helpful for you.
Sending you my best today as always, and abundant blessings for the new year!
Sally xo
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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An action-packed read, Mike. I'm jumping in mid-stream here, but I'm sure to catch on. I always enjoy the gospel message laced throughout your stories. :)
A small improvement, if I may. In conversational dialogue, stay away from too many he said, she saids in a row. For example:
Revise this area for both grammar and smoothness. "Do you know (someone) (who) (would) pass Mr. Davis a note without him knowing? Caleb and Kathy agreed on Jack Johnston." I hope this is helpful for you.
Sending you my best today as always, and abundant blessings for the new year!
Sally xo
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review. I will work on that point, thank you.
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from KatyM
Why does it have this: 2,670 words. Lew and his friends face the Viligante Killer. (When it comes to the word count?)
There is a section where he is talking to the cop and said that he saw the cop kill the lawyer. I thought it was the homeless guy that had the son that saw the murder?
That part was a bit confusing when it comes to this chapter.
katy
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Why does it have this: 2,670 words. Lew and his friends face the Viligante Killer. (When it comes to the word count?)
There is a section where he is talking to the cop and said that he saw the cop kill the lawyer. I thought it was the homeless guy that had the son that saw the murder?
That part was a bit confusing when it comes to this chapter.
katy
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I put a word count on so people who don't like long stories will avoid it. I know, it's crazy. Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
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OH Ok on the word count. I was just wondering about it. You have a wonderful New Year! See ya next year with new stories. katy
Comment from Liberty Justice
SIX STARS******What a suspenseful good will story and such humanitarian actions notifying homeless people of food through homeless network. Read Review mine also. lolol www.libertyjusticebooks.com.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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SIX STARS******What a suspenseful good will story and such humanitarian actions notifying homeless people of food through homeless network. Read Review mine also. lolol www.libertyjusticebooks.com.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Many thanks for your kind words and for those shiny six stars. They are deeply appreciated! I'll be by to read.
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I think this has intriguing possibilities. A Homeless Network sounds like it is very plausible. Even the most respectable people can snap if there is a murder in the family. Here is a line I liked on the humorous side: "He can steal your underwear without you knowing it." Caleb laughs
I was a little distracted at the end by rather quick forgiveness, as if Mr. Davis' actions are already attributable to identifiable mental illness or something else. But this time of year, God's mercy is best emphasized.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I think this has intriguing possibilities. A Homeless Network sounds like it is very plausible. Even the most respectable people can snap if there is a murder in the family. Here is a line I liked on the humorous side: "He can steal your underwear without you knowing it." Caleb laughs
I was a little distracted at the end by rather quick forgiveness, as if Mr. Davis' actions are already attributable to identifiable mental illness or something else. But this time of year, God's mercy is best emphasized.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Mr. Davis will have to pay for his crimes, Lew wanted him to know, forgiveness was there when he was ready. Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Mike. A good read that flows along well. Dialogue progresses the story and is interesting. I see nothing to change. The homeless network is a good idea. We have churches here that open the doors to them for the night. Marilyn
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Hi Mike. A good read that flows along well. Dialogue progresses the story and is interesting. I see nothing to change. The homeless network is a good idea. We have churches here that open the doors to them for the night. Marilyn
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Hi, Marilyn! Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review.
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from country ranch writer
It is sad people think they have to kill to get revenge when something horrible happens to their loved one. We can never take things for granted ever.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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It is sad people think they have to kill to get revenge when something horrible happens to their loved one. We can never take things for granted ever.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from Janilou
Now this is something I want to read more of. Wow, wow, wow. I am super impressed. Your story pulled me right in. It is so unique. But better than that is how well it is written. How refreshing! I am going back to read earlier chapters now. Fantastic story. Just fantastic.
What more can I say?
I love it.
Jan
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Now this is something I want to read more of. Wow, wow, wow. I am super impressed. Your story pulled me right in. It is so unique. But better than that is how well it is written. How refreshing! I am going back to read earlier chapters now. Fantastic story. Just fantastic.
What more can I say?
I love it.
Jan
Comment Written 28-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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This book was not on my radar until the Holy Spirit slapped me with it. I was going to start another Gabe Hope book, but that's on hold for now. Many thanks for those shiny six stars!
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from RShipp
"What good is this gift if I can't get anybody to believe me?" A very valid question.
"If we go there, human services will take Earl away from me. He's all I have left." Fat too sad!
I greatly enjoyed the read. well done.
Of all the superpowers available, the ability to read a mind is not one that I would want- maybe it would be OK if I could pick an d choose when I had the skill? But to read all minds all the time. No thanks!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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"What good is this gift if I can't get anybody to believe me?" A very valid question.
"If we go there, human services will take Earl away from me. He's all I have left." Fat too sad!
I greatly enjoyed the read. well done.
Of all the superpowers available, the ability to read a mind is not one that I would want- maybe it would be OK if I could pick an d choose when I had the skill? But to read all minds all the time. No thanks!
Comment Written 27-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
Comment from Cindy Warren
I'm glad they caught the killer. That's good insight into what made him want to do it. I think it's true that anybody could end up homeless, too. They're not all drunks and drug addicts. Some are just regular people who had nobody to help them through a hard time.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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I'm glad they caught the killer. That's good insight into what made him want to do it. I think it's true that anybody could end up homeless, too. They're not all drunks and drug addicts. Some are just regular people who had nobody to help them through a hard time.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
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Many thanks for your kind words and encouraging review!
Happy Holidays and God bless.
mike
