Flushed With Success
One man's nothing is another's paradise.19 total reviews
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello M. That's an interesting story. I'm quite sure that is the most I ever read about a bowel movement and I spent four years in the Army. It's interesting that Bud was able to find a job for he can earn a living and stay on the golden toilet. I don't think I'm going to go sees Zoltare anytime soon. Good luck in the contest. Robert
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Hello M. That's an interesting story. I'm quite sure that is the most I ever read about a bowel movement and I spent four years in the Army. It's interesting that Bud was able to find a job for he can earn a living and stay on the golden toilet. I don't think I'm going to go sees Zoltare anytime soon. Good luck in the contest. Robert
Comment Written 16-Dec-2019
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's hilarious. Very creative. I can't imagine being so attached to anything. Glad Timmy decided his life didn't depend on his phone. Good luck in the contest.
'What does derogstory mean' needs a question mark.
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That's hilarious. Very creative. I can't imagine being so attached to anything. Glad Timmy decided his life didn't depend on his phone. Good luck in the contest.
'What does derogstory mean' needs a question mark.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2019
Comment from robyn corum
Monica,
What a fun tale! Besides being a great cautionary story on becoming too attached to THINGS - it was just a HOOT. hahaha
There were too many parts to try to tell you what all I liked best. Turns of phrases and catchy lines - you really outdid yourself this time.
Some notes, though, if I may?
1.) "Oh, does it look like this(?)" Grandpa asked as he slid the missing item
2.) That's how the Clintons) became so important;
3.) Hungry, Timmy?" (s)he asked.
4.) Yenta and her nephew would move it (r)ound from fair to fair.
Thanks for the trip!
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Monica,
What a fun tale! Besides being a great cautionary story on becoming too attached to THINGS - it was just a HOOT. hahaha
There were too many parts to try to tell you what all I liked best. Turns of phrases and catchy lines - you really outdid yourself this time.
Some notes, though, if I may?
1.) "Oh, does it look like this(?)" Grandpa asked as he slid the missing item
2.) That's how the Clintons) became so important;
3.) Hungry, Timmy?" (s)he asked.
4.) Yenta and her nephew would move it (r)ound from fair to fair.
Thanks for the trip!
Comment Written 16-Dec-2019
Comment from country ranch writer
This is cute and good ole grampa's in his own way of doing things got his point across to the boy. Grandma has a way to keeping grandpa under control.
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This is cute and good ole grampa's in his own way of doing things got his point across to the boy. Grandma has a way to keeping grandpa under control.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2019
Comment from JudyE
You've done really well with this. I thought about entering but wasn't brave enough! It's a great story incorporating the words you were given.
hamper ones self-confidence - apostrophe needed - one's
"Hungry, Timmy?" She asked - lower case for 'she'
Timmy could see she was still really mad, he simply pointed in Grandpa's direction. - I might have made this two sentences or started it with 'As Timmy could see..'
"What does derogstory mean," - question mark after 'mean'
the added benefit of being able sneak off to the lavatory - word missing - 'able to sneak..'
See that's the real pain of constipation - comma after 'See'
"I think that might have been a bad idea," Timmy said shaking his head solemnly - comma after 'said'
"When the damn burst - spelling - dam
"Was it? Don't all toilets have labels inside em?" - apostrophe needed - 'em
Eventually it would break - comma after 'eventually'
"Bud would get to be close to his magic toilet forever for he would be sitting on it all day long as he provided advice from his outhouse office - comma after 'forever'
Yenta and her nephew would move it wound from fair to fair - should be 'round from..'
Not to mention it's not a real out house - one word - outhouse
Eventually he hopped down from the stool - comma after 'eventually'
Good luck in the contest.
Judy
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You've done really well with this. I thought about entering but wasn't brave enough! It's a great story incorporating the words you were given.
hamper ones self-confidence - apostrophe needed - one's
"Hungry, Timmy?" She asked - lower case for 'she'
Timmy could see she was still really mad, he simply pointed in Grandpa's direction. - I might have made this two sentences or started it with 'As Timmy could see..'
"What does derogstory mean," - question mark after 'mean'
the added benefit of being able sneak off to the lavatory - word missing - 'able to sneak..'
See that's the real pain of constipation - comma after 'See'
"I think that might have been a bad idea," Timmy said shaking his head solemnly - comma after 'said'
"When the damn burst - spelling - dam
"Was it? Don't all toilets have labels inside em?" - apostrophe needed - 'em
Eventually it would break - comma after 'eventually'
"Bud would get to be close to his magic toilet forever for he would be sitting on it all day long as he provided advice from his outhouse office - comma after 'forever'
Yenta and her nephew would move it wound from fair to fair - should be 'round from..'
Not to mention it's not a real out house - one word - outhouse
Eventually he hopped down from the stool - comma after 'eventually'
Good luck in the contest.
Judy
Comment Written 16-Dec-2019
Comment from aryr
This was great reading. Good luck in the contest. I really enjoyed how Grandpa told the story of Bud for Timmy, who finally understood the rationale. It was indeed a good tale.
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This was great reading. Good luck in the contest. I really enjoyed how Grandpa told the story of Bud for Timmy, who finally understood the rationale. It was indeed a good tale.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2019
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Definitely first rate first grade humor! You might have already fixed these, since I have been trying to finish this review for an hour.
"When the damn burst
I think you mean dam burst
a plan that would insure Bud's happiness
it should be ensure and not insure
Very much liked reading this. It would be helpful for several young people, I think, too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Definitely first rate first grade humor! You might have already fixed these, since I have been trying to finish this review for an hour.
"When the damn burst
I think you mean dam burst
a plan that would insure Bud's happiness
it should be ensure and not insure
Very much liked reading this. It would be helpful for several young people, I think, too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2019
Comment from royowen
What a clever way to rid a young man of his bondage and greatest source of inspiration at the same, of course I think we all have a similar superstition or others, as a sportsman, I always has a "quirk" I thought I couldn't live without, mind you they are always false. Beautifully and imaginatively written Monica. You've done a super job with this. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo : That's how the Clinton(')s became... Yenta and her nephew would move it (wound) round?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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What a clever way to rid a young man of his bondage and greatest source of inspiration at the same, of course I think we all have a similar superstition or others, as a sportsman, I always has a "quirk" I thought I couldn't live without, mind you they are always false. Beautifully and imaginatively written Monica. You've done a super job with this. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo : That's how the Clinton(')s became... Yenta and her nephew would move it (wound) round?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2019
Comment from Sasha
It is hysterical and written very well. It captured my full attention because I can personally relate to being constipated and have had similar conversations with both Agustin and Veronica. This is a great entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
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It is hysterical and written very well. It captured my full attention because I can personally relate to being constipated and have had similar conversations with both Agustin and Veronica. This is a great entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2019
