Don't Be A Show-off
Avoid an injury on the ice.16 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a racing rhyme. It really keeps the reader running to keep up, but it's fun.
I particularly liked
"You'll take a tumble if you stumble -
and that will really make you grumble!"
and of course (being British)
"and then your hip will give you gyp."
I separated that from the line above it, as for some reason I didn't like that as well - I can't explain why, as the scan was perfect...Anyway, it was a job well done.
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This is a racing rhyme. It really keeps the reader running to keep up, but it's fun.
I particularly liked
"You'll take a tumble if you stumble -
and that will really make you grumble!"
and of course (being British)
"and then your hip will give you gyp."
I separated that from the line above it, as for some reason I didn't like that as well - I can't explain why, as the scan was perfect...Anyway, it was a job well done.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2019
Comment from Therese Caron
This poem is humorous, and yet serious at the same time about being careful. I live where there is a lot of ice in the winter, and we have many falls resulting in some pretty serious injuries. I like the way this poem manages to tackle this problem with humor. Good rhyming, and could combining of words. Fun image to complement it. Nice job!
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This poem is humorous, and yet serious at the same time about being careful. I live where there is a lot of ice in the winter, and we have many falls resulting in some pretty serious injuries. I like the way this poem manages to tackle this problem with humor. Good rhyming, and could combining of words. Fun image to complement it. Nice job!
Comment Written 15-Dec-2019
Comment from Louise Michelle
Okay, I'll take your advice and will stay off the ice. Wait a minute, it's in the 70's here - there's no ice. Well, anyway, this was a fun-to-read poem and I loved the last line. It really tied this bit of whimsy up nicely. Hugs, Lou
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Okay, I'll take your advice and will stay off the ice. Wait a minute, it's in the 70's here - there's no ice. Well, anyway, this was a fun-to-read poem and I loved the last line. It really tied this bit of whimsy up nicely. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 14-Dec-2019
Comment from Sugarray77
Haha... this is very enjoyable and fun, Lisa. Well done on your choices of rhymes, both internal and line ends... I like the humor you invoke with all of your writing. Good job.
Melissa
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Haha... this is very enjoyable and fun, Lisa. Well done on your choices of rhymes, both internal and line ends... I like the humor you invoke with all of your writing. Good job.
Melissa
Comment Written 14-Dec-2019
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about showing off at the icy lake can cause unnecessary pain when we try to ice skate like a professional but don't really know what you're doing.
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A very well-written poem about showing off at the icy lake can cause unnecessary pain when we try to ice skate like a professional but don't really know what you're doing.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2019
Comment from lauralumummu
I like your warning message in a humorous poem. My Mom slipped and fell one winter broke her hip and was never the same after that. I don't walk outside here in the winter much and it is very icy at times. I know this expression very well we use it quite often. So I won't give you the gyp, I think your poem is hip. Well, done1 All the best Laura.
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I like your warning message in a humorous poem. My Mom slipped and fell one winter broke her hip and was never the same after that. I don't walk outside here in the winter much and it is very icy at times. I know this expression very well we use it quite often. So I won't give you the gyp, I think your poem is hip. Well, done1 All the best Laura.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2019
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Lisa. Good advice given in your piece, especially as we get older. Your poem is timely for the season and rhymes well. I like the image, too. Marilyn
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Hi Lisa. Good advice given in your piece, especially as we get older. Your poem is timely for the season and rhymes well. I like the image, too. Marilyn
Comment Written 13-Dec-2019
Comment from Gail Denham
Good job - I like it - plus the action in the poem is really fun. The alliteration or whatever that word is - works. Rhyming, for me, is still a struggle, but some, like you, do it so natrually.
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Good job - I like it - plus the action in the poem is really fun. The alliteration or whatever that word is - works. Rhyming, for me, is still a struggle, but some, like you, do it so natrually.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2019
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
You deliver a sound piece of cautionary advice for this time of year. Nothing worse than slipping on ice a you have no control as your body helplessly loses balance. The word choices are superb as they convey a sense of motion. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
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You deliver a sound piece of cautionary advice for this time of year. Nothing worse than slipping on ice a you have no control as your body helplessly loses balance. The word choices are superb as they convey a sense of motion. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2019
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is really cute! I love reading your nonsense dribble. It's like following you around and trying to keep up. I can always count on you for a laugh!Luv,
Patty
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This is really cute! I love reading your nonsense dribble. It's like following you around and trying to keep up. I can always count on you for a laugh!Luv,
Patty
Comment Written 13-Dec-2019
