Reviews from

Aaron's Dragons

Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Dylan Meets the Witch"
An aging knight finds a clutch of dragon eggs

10 total reviews 
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi Cindy, this is yet another great chapter and I'm fascinated by the dragons and their interactions. I only saw one thing: then thought the better of it. = then thought better of it. I would omit 'the'. Well written. All best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 10-Dec-2019
    Thanks. I'll take another look at that line. Glad you're still enjoying the story.
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow! What an imagination you have. Illusions that look like Dylan and Aaron and using them to scare off the invaders. Pretty creative! I can't wait to see all of the new skills the dragons have developed! xoxo

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2019
    Thanks for the six! These little dragons are turning out to be a lot of fun. Now they're coming up with new talents and some of their own ideas!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great episode. Loved the fake flames and visions of the two men...so clever and effective! The enemy doesn't have a chance with those magical dragons on the job. Well done!

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
    Thanks for the six! The other guys will figure out it's illusion, their problem will be figuring out what's real. Do you happen to know the correct spelling of 'trebouje?' It's an archaic weapon. I want to give one to the guys who don't have dragons. It's not in my dictionary, and spell check wants to replace it with 'turbojet." I can't give them one of those!
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 08-Dec-2019
    A trebuchet is a medieval siege weapon and was possibly invented in China. While superficially similar, a trebuchet is distinct from a catapult, which uses tension to fling a projectile; a trebuchet uses a counterweight. A catapult builds tension in the arm in order to fling a projectile when that tension is released; a trebuchet holds a counterweight in place and the release of the counterweight flings the projectile, with no tension in the arm.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2019
    Thanks. I saw one on the History channel one night, so I had a pretty good idea what it was. The guys were building it. It can throw further and harder than the catapult. It fell out of use with the invention of the cannon. I had no idea how to spell it.
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The introduction of ethical differences between the dragons and humans is a nice touch, adding another layer of interest. I also liked the backstory, explaining more about Douane.
Those who have magic at their disposal have an undeniable advantage. The art is not making things too easy for them. I think you have the balance about right at this stage.

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2019
    Thanks for the six! The dragons are young, and they make mistakes. If it's too easy for them it makes for a dull story. I'm going to give the other side a trebouje (if I can figure out how to spell it; it's not in my dictionary) and superior numbers.
Comment from juliaSjames
Excellent
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"Had they found them, they would have torn them to pieces." - You're referring here to Purple and Brown. But only Brown has been living there since Purple left. So only she was at risk.

"Many were the same weapons they themselves had fired." - "the same missiles"

"The cabin appeared to catch fire and plumes of flames shot towards the enemy" - "gouts of flame"

This is an exciting chapter, Cindy. Readers can easily visualize the battle through your vivid and detailed words.

I love the dragons. You've given them personalities that make them endearing. But, as seen when they try to eat the dead warriors, they are young dragons, not human children. Looking forward to seeing what more talents they will acquire and use.

Perhaps you are already planning a chapter dedicated to the unrest in the kingdom. So far you've used reports from Aaron, Dylan and Duane.

Excellent work. I'm a devoted fan.:-))

Blessings Julia

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2019
    Thanks. I put the part in about them wanting to eat the bodies to make it clear they are dragons. They saw nothing wrong with it. Will edit the spag. Thanks again for catching it.
reply by juliaSjames on 07-Dec-2019
    You're welcome. Enjoy the rest of your day.

    Blessings Julia
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Excellent
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This is getting more and more exciting. I like the fact that the dragons are learning new skills. The situation at the palace is grim an is going to be difficult to sort out. I'm enjoying this saga. Keep it coming! Well done!

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
    Thanks. Yes, the situation is grim, but it will be sorted out. I thought it needed a little more excitement first.
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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Boy, that was intense! It's a good thing Brown didn't stay in the cave. I'm beginning to really like the Dragoyles. They had some pretty good tricks. The dragons are all maturing are a nice rate, and soon, I guess they will go on their own. I'm dreading when this story ends. 8-)

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
    Thanks. I know, it's going to be hard to wrap this up. I'm having so much fun with the little dragons.
reply by damommy on 06-Dec-2019
    Me, too!!!!!
Comment from Mistydawn
Excellent
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That was a very suspenseful post start to finish. I thought they were done in for sure. I'm so glad it turned out the way it did and now he knows the history of the boy. I do look forward to finding out the dragon's talents.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
    Thanks. I can't do them in! I'd have no more story. I haven't decided what each one can do yet. It should be fun figuring it out.
Comment from Sallyo
Excellent
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Wow! Good point about eating people. It shows the dragons are still learning. One thing I forgot to ask from the last chapter - why is the princess unfit to rule? I can't remember anything about her.
This is one of those rare books that would appeal across a long range of ages.
the kings food
the king's food

singing one man's hair
singeing one man's hair

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
    Thanks for catching the spag. It's fixed. The princess is a spoiled brat. She has no idea how to run things.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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What an intense chapter, Cindy. I enjoyed reading it. I was engaged from start to finish. You did a great job with the sequencing of events. I liked what the witch shared. The battle with all the illusions was expertly told--good job with that. I liked that the dragons are coming into their own and will help in any way they can. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully with Love, Jan

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2019
    Thanks! This was a difficult chapter. I'm glad you thought it worked.