Reviews from

Reading In The Park

A lune poem (5-3-5 syllables)

19 total reviews 
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Congratulations your poem is exciting colorful and dynamic ;"Reading in the park -
leaves rustle
as the pages turn."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2019
    I really appreciate your terrific review!
Comment from MissMerri
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is just beautiful LisaMay! It is no wonder it won the contest. Congratulations and keep up the fantastic work. I loved the clever word play in this one. Simply remarkable. MM

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 09-Dec-2019
    Thank you so much for this brilliant review!
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Many kudos on winning the Lune contest. I could hear the rustling of the "leaves" and feel the turning of the "pages". You completely captured the mood of "Reading in the park". Well done- Joan

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2019

Comment from juliaSjames
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Kudos on a well deserved win LisaMay. You use simple language and a delicate play on words to convey the essence of a pleasurable fall day. The interplay between the natural world and the world of imagination creates a mood of peaceful relaxation.

Exceptional!

Blessings Julia

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2019

Comment from Contests

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A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2019

Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good luck in the contest with this creative write. The image works well with your topic. You seem to have no end to your imagination. Again, the play on words "leaves rustle" is great. Marilyn

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2019

Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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I enjoyed this lune poem for the contest. I wish you the best in the contest. Have a blessed week. May your reading find that as the pages turn you hear rustling.
Patricia

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2019

Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written Lune poem reading a book in the park us a peaceful experience with no one else around we hear only the rustling of the leaves when we turn the pages.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 03-Dec-2019
    Thanks for reviewing!
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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I like your word play of "leaves" which can be from trees or the pages of the book. One thing I've been told about "lunes" is that to have that crescent moon shape, you wouldn't center your poem but have each line start at the left margin. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 02-Dec-2019
    I was wondering why it's called a 'lune'. I changed the poem to align at left, but the crescent is a rather far-fetched visual concept in my particular poem. I think it would need more lines to have a semi-circular edge showing a crescent better.
reply by lyenochka on 02-Dec-2019
    I agree that it's not really a pretty lune no matter what words we use! But that's what I've been told so I try to keep it flush to the left margin. I suppose one could do it to the right side.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You have made excellent use of all of your syllables in this lovely piece about the great combination of a park and a book, with pages turning and leaves rustling.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2019


reply by the author on 03-Dec-2019
    Thank you!