Stolen Blooms
Influenced by Wordsworth and Yeats.34 total reviews
Comment from Sugarray77
What a very deep and meaningful write!! Your mix of famous lines is good and does draw the attention to the plight of the homeless. Thanks for crafting a good poem with great insight!
Melissa
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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What a very deep and meaningful write!! Your mix of famous lines is good and does draw the attention to the plight of the homeless. Thanks for crafting a good poem with great insight!
Melissa
Comment Written 30-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Sallyo
That's one of the most difficult things to grasp in the world of a "comfortable" country. You put it so well... these people have somehow fallen through the cracks.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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That's one of the most difficult things to grasp in the world of a "comfortable" country. You put it so well... these people have somehow fallen through the cracks.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Alex Edwards-Bourdrez
I like the movement in this: from isolation to interaction (although we don't know if the "I" will accept the invitation--or will the "I" continue the avoidance?), as well as from a kind of vagueness and aimlessness ("wandering") to something specific (if frightening). The address "O human kindness" in line four--the collective voice of the "host of forgotten homeless people"--is very effective: the "host" is all at once perceptive, hopeful, and reverent (flattering?) with respect to the "I," in whom the potential, at least, for human kindness resides (as it does in all humans, represented by the "I"?). The familiar experience of the first line connects with the reader (to this one, to be sure), which makes the reader also an object of the address in line four: the homeless are inviting the reader. One suspects that if the quality of kindness in the "I" is touched, the "I" and the reader will--or should--accept the invitation and be all the more kind for doing so, given what we are being invited to. I think the poem would have more impact with some more evocative word choice and some condensing. Can you find something a bit more jarring, for example, than "all at once" in line two. "Spied" seems inaccurate when juxtaposed with "avoiding"--perhaps something less proactive. I do like the line's fine rhythm, though: it evokes a kind of automaticity the corresponds to wandering. Maybe the encounter of the homeless could be an opportunity to break the rhythm, which could be accomplished with a substitute for "spied" that has more than one syllable. Condensing the poem by striking "people" and maybe "human," too--though "human kindness" lends a universality that I suspect you want to keep. Finally, introducing something more detailed and textured as a substitute for "destitute and down and out" would bring the reader right down to the street level.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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I like the movement in this: from isolation to interaction (although we don't know if the "I" will accept the invitation--or will the "I" continue the avoidance?), as well as from a kind of vagueness and aimlessness ("wandering") to something specific (if frightening). The address "O human kindness" in line four--the collective voice of the "host of forgotten homeless people"--is very effective: the "host" is all at once perceptive, hopeful, and reverent (flattering?) with respect to the "I," in whom the potential, at least, for human kindness resides (as it does in all humans, represented by the "I"?). The familiar experience of the first line connects with the reader (to this one, to be sure), which makes the reader also an object of the address in line four: the homeless are inviting the reader. One suspects that if the quality of kindness in the "I" is touched, the "I" and the reader will--or should--accept the invitation and be all the more kind for doing so, given what we are being invited to. I think the poem would have more impact with some more evocative word choice and some condensing. Can you find something a bit more jarring, for example, than "all at once" in line two. "Spied" seems inaccurate when juxtaposed with "avoiding"--perhaps something less proactive. I do like the line's fine rhythm, though: it evokes a kind of automaticity the corresponds to wandering. Maybe the encounter of the homeless could be an opportunity to break the rhythm, which could be accomplished with a substitute for "spied" that has more than one syllable. Condensing the poem by striking "people" and maybe "human," too--though "human kindness" lends a universality that I suspect you want to keep. Finally, introducing something more detailed and textured as a substitute for "destitute and down and out" would bring the reader right down to the street level.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Sally Law
Many do come and understand but unfortunately, not enough. Thankfully angels are about to do God's work, as well. A fine poetry offering of the importance of human kindness and mercy.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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Many do come and understand but unfortunately, not enough. Thankfully angels are about to do God's work, as well. A fine poetry offering of the importance of human kindness and mercy.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo
Comment Written 30-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
-
Thank you
Comment from Eleanor Frances (Elf)
This poem is wonderful! I like how it makes me stop and think. Your presentation colors and photo add to the reflection. A beautiful free verse poem. Good luck in the contest!
--Elf
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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This poem is wonderful! I like how it makes me stop and think. Your presentation colors and photo add to the reflection. A beautiful free verse poem. Good luck in the contest!
--Elf
Comment Written 30-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your free verse, although, it is poignant in meaning Lordinajamjar. The image is haunting--looks like the child has been crying. Good job with the smooth flow and great imagery. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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I enjoyed your free verse, although, it is poignant in meaning Lordinajamjar. The image is haunting--looks like the child has been crying. Good job with the smooth flow and great imagery. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 30-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Barbaraj1
This is a fine free verse. Compassion is not enough to help the
homeless. We have to find solutions to this problem. Good luck in
the contest. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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This is a fine free verse. Compassion is not enough to help the
homeless. We have to find solutions to this problem. Good luck in
the contest. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements nicely as you deliver a well penned Free Verse. The content is timely and relevant and will resonate with many readers. Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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This meets the contest requirements nicely as you deliver a well penned Free Verse. The content is timely and relevant and will resonate with many readers. Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Cindy Warren
It's tragic that there are so many homeless people. I wonder how they got that way. Isn't there anyone who wants them? It seems there are thousands in every big city. What's wrong with society that nothing is done about it? It's a sad reflection on governments that they can do so much for themselves, yet the most vulnerable freeze and starve.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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It's tragic that there are so many homeless people. I wonder how they got that way. Isn't there anyone who wants them? It seems there are thousands in every big city. What's wrong with society that nothing is done about it? It's a sad reflection on governments that they can do so much for themselves, yet the most vulnerable freeze and starve.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
-
Thank you
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Free Verse Poetry contest.
Your verse is very thought provoking and has a good message.
Well done and good luck to you with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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I think this is a good entry for the Free Verse Poetry contest.
Your verse is very thought provoking and has a good message.
Well done and good luck to you with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 30-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2019
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Thank you
