Mother of the bride
A twist10 total reviews
Comment from Dutchie
You keep surprising me Rikki. You are good in stories with a twist: expect the unexpected... Well the ladies can spent a lot of time together now: unnoticed... Great write!!! Fia xx
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
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You keep surprising me Rikki. You are good in stories with a twist: expect the unexpected... Well the ladies can spent a lot of time together now: unnoticed... Great write!!! Fia xx
Comment Written 13-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
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A surprise is always good. Thank you for reading.
RikkiLXXIII
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Wow... now those are some crying women!! ;) But at least they have another date now... LOL!! ;) :) A fun offering, Rikki -- thanx for shairng, sir!! ;) Yvette
yard, "Mom-dad this Diageo Sanchez, son of Paul and Marie. Tom walks away ---> yard. [new paragraph here] "Mom-dad this Diageo Sanchez, son of Paul and Marie." [new paragraph here] Tom walks away
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Wow... now those are some crying women!! ;) But at least they have another date now... LOL!! ;) :) A fun offering, Rikki -- thanx for shairng, sir!! ;) Yvette
yard, "Mom-dad this Diageo Sanchez, son of Paul and Marie. Tom walks away ---> yard. [new paragraph here] "Mom-dad this Diageo Sanchez, son of Paul and Marie." [new paragraph here] Tom walks away
Comment Written 29-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Thank you for review and kind suggestion.
Rikki
Comment from aryr
This was definitely interesting. You addressed the various aspects of life, from curiosity, to surprise, to shock. It was a great story that encompassed all of these things and was also a comfortable read. You did well with this and I did enjoy the title.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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This was definitely interesting. You addressed the various aspects of life, from curiosity, to surprise, to shock. It was a great story that encompassed all of these things and was also a comfortable read. You did well with this and I did enjoy the title.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Thank you for the read and the review.
Rikki
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You are most welcome.
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Blessings for today.
Rikki
Comment from Lobber
Hello,
I find your writing refreshing and riveting. For me it starts with: She and Ree had agreed they were not lesbians, just two middle-aged broads exploring their sexuality before they were too old.
The rest is a delight to read...especially the credible dialogue. - Lobber
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Hello,
I find your writing refreshing and riveting. For me it starts with: She and Ree had agreed they were not lesbians, just two middle-aged broads exploring their sexuality before they were too old.
The rest is a delight to read...especially the credible dialogue. - Lobber
Comment Written 28-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Thank you for the kind words your suggestion would have been a good starting place, glad you enjoyed.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, am glad that the mother and father of the bride are all happy. Hope the bride is, too!
Hope had a great Thanksgiving!
Some comments:
"reminiscing about what had just occurred" (suggest 'reflecting on' or 'ruminating about' instead of 'reminiscing about' because it usually refers to something much farther in the past.
""Paul what's your line" asks Tom. (add question mark before end quotes.
Pretty (needs open quotes here. Not sure who's talking at this point.) There are other places were quotations are missing.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Well, am glad that the mother and father of the bride are all happy. Hope the bride is, too!
Hope had a great Thanksgiving!
Some comments:
"reminiscing about what had just occurred" (suggest 'reflecting on' or 'ruminating about' instead of 'reminiscing about' because it usually refers to something much farther in the past.
""Paul what's your line" asks Tom. (add question mark before end quotes.
Pretty (needs open quotes here. Not sure who's talking at this point.) There are other places were quotations are missing.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Thanksgiving was great and your review made it better.
Rikki
Comment from Darlene Franklin
Did neither women realize the other was married? That would be a shock! I had a little trouble keeping up with the men's names, I'm not sure why. May the wedding go off without a hitch.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Did neither women realize the other was married? That would be a shock! I had a little trouble keeping up with the men's names, I'm not sure why. May the wedding go off without a hitch.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Hadn't thought about it but may need a back story and a follow up. The wedding has to have a hitch seen enough Hallmark and Lifetime to know that
Rikki
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
LOL! If the kids ever find out about this, we'll feel the explosion all over FanStory, from US to UK to AU and NZ. It's probably for the best though. Now they'll have a legitimate reason to hang out together. :)
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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LOL! If the kids ever find out about this, we'll feel the explosion all over FanStory, from US to UK to AU and NZ. It's probably for the best though. Now they'll have a legitimate reason to hang out together. :)
Comment Written 28-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Who knows what the future may hold.
Rikki
Comment from Supe
is at the grill, Louise at the bar
this is Diageo
Tom walks away from the grill his hand extended Paul.....does not read well
I think there is dialogue in here? "Diageo welcome to Casa Rainer."
"I tripped, clumsy me," she mumbles.
"Pretty much like yours....this sentence is dialogue.
Marie, work?"
a few tips."
She owns a spa. Louise
"Of course, son," says Tom
and go to Sally. She joins
Marie embraces Louise, "The spa
This is a good chapter, with a few edits here and there. Your characters dialogue is very plausible. Nice twist. All in all well written. I enjoyed it.I hope there's going to be more.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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is at the grill, Louise at the bar
this is Diageo
Tom walks away from the grill his hand extended Paul.....does not read well
I think there is dialogue in here? "Diageo welcome to Casa Rainer."
"I tripped, clumsy me," she mumbles.
"Pretty much like yours....this sentence is dialogue.
Marie, work?"
a few tips."
She owns a spa. Louise
"Of course, son," says Tom
and go to Sally. She joins
Marie embraces Louise, "The spa
This is a good chapter, with a few edits here and there. Your characters dialogue is very plausible. Nice twist. All in all well written. I enjoyed it.I hope there's going to be more.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Thank you for the read and the review,
Rikki
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you are welcome.
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Smile for a good day.
Comment from JudyE
This is very clever. I can only imagine how surprised the two women were. lol I do think it would look better on the page if the paragraphs were double spaced. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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This is very clever. I can only imagine how surprised the two women were. lol I do think it would look better on the page if the paragraphs were double spaced. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Thank you for the read and the suggestions.
Rikki
Comment from oliver818
Nice story I enjoyed reading it. It flows well and you have created interesting characters. Thanks for sharing this and have yourself a really great day
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Nice story I enjoyed reading it. It flows well and you have created interesting characters. Thanks for sharing this and have yourself a really great day
Comment Written 28-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2019
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Thank you for the read and the review.
Rikki
