Me and You 40+ years of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "The Gift of a Monkey Mug"Poetry and Short Stories by George Medina Martinez
3 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Thanks for sharing your life using this Potlatch poem assignment. I'm so glad you survived the torture of teasing kids and older brothers. And seems like you were really blessed with Angela.
Your Roger's Refrain has the right repetitions and the couplet at the end but it is not iambic tetrameter. Your lines are really long and it is supposed to be only 8 syllables long with the rhythm of daDumdaDumdaDumdaDum with a feminine rhyme, you get go as long as 9 syllables with the last syllable being unstressed. But I don't know if you could have told all your story with this limitation.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2019
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Thanks for sharing your life using this Potlatch poem assignment. I'm so glad you survived the torture of teasing kids and older brothers. And seems like you were really blessed with Angela.
Your Roger's Refrain has the right repetitions and the couplet at the end but it is not iambic tetrameter. Your lines are really long and it is supposed to be only 8 syllables long with the rhythm of daDumdaDumdaDumdaDum with a feminine rhyme, you get go as long as 9 syllables with the last syllable being unstressed. But I don't know if you could have told all your story with this limitation.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2019
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Thank you for this clarification, I completely overlooked the 8 syllable requirement, I believe this was my first attempt at this format and basically used the example as reference. I will review it and see if I can still bring it in line with the requirements, if I can, I will add a note to explain the revision(s)
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Good for you to keep editing - a sign of a good writer/poet! I personally love iambic tetrameter so even though my Roger's Refrain was my first, it wasn't hard.
Comment from country ranch writer
Growing up kids can be mean taking it to extreme. It is all fun and games till the tables are turned on them and they end up on the receiving end.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
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Growing up kids can be mean taking it to extreme. It is all fun and games till the tables are turned on them and they end up on the receiving end.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
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Thank you for the review and complimentary comments, Your Support and Encouragement is Greatly Appreciated.
Comment from Lost1
Hey George,
I don't have much
But the way you disgorged is lit as torch.
Rendering just the right amount of scorch.
I hope the monkey ridicules helps you find the key.
Life is a pool of hurdles but, I hope you're cool.
If you ever need cuddles, Maybe go to God.
He's strong and tall
And He sees it all
Just a little whisper and he answers the call.
Kudos!
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
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Hey George,
I don't have much
But the way you disgorged is lit as torch.
Rendering just the right amount of scorch.
I hope the monkey ridicules helps you find the key.
Life is a pool of hurdles but, I hope you're cool.
If you ever need cuddles, Maybe go to God.
He's strong and tall
And He sees it all
Just a little whisper and he answers the call.
Kudos!
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
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Blessings, and Thank you for the review and compliments. Yes, I did not mention the Giant roll Our Lord Jesus Christ played within this particular poem offering. I attempted to keep this one a bit lighter, Thanks again.
