Inside
A 5 line poem21 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Ooooo.... I really like the use of the 'reverse metaphor' on this one... or should that be just metaphor 'in reverse'...? lol!! Either way, it works beautifully in conveying your serene message of needing love's presence in one's heart and one's life -- great job!! ;) Thanx for sharing! ;) :) Yvette
Please forgive the tardiness (again!)...I'll probably catch up in time to fall behind again starting Wednesday (going to the in-laws - send the Calvary if I'm not back by Sunday!!)
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
  |
Ooooo.... I really like the use of the 'reverse metaphor' on this one... or should that be just metaphor 'in reverse'...? lol!! Either way, it works beautifully in conveying your serene message of needing love's presence in one's heart and one's life -- great job!! ;) Thanx for sharing! ;) :) Yvette
Please forgive the tardiness (again!)...I'll probably catch up in time to fall behind again starting Wednesday (going to the in-laws - send the Calvary if I'm not back by Sunday!!)
Comment Written 25-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
-
Many thanks, I enjoyed trying to relay a message in this form, and I will lead the Calvary to make sure that my help and encouragement return, ****kahpot
Comment from lauralumummu
Well presented 5 line poem with a great flow. The picture is a good choice as well. So true about surrendering loneliness Good luck in the contest. All the best, Laura.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2019
|
Well presented 5 line poem with a great flow. The picture is a good choice as well. So true about surrendering loneliness Good luck in the contest. All the best, Laura.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2019
-
Thank you very much for your excellent review and comments, much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wonderful presentation. The artwork and purple background with white lettering, centered, was the way to go. The first three lines speak to me, although, the word "surrender" isn't the way for me to prevent loneliness. I think the ending line is sad and if true, unfortunate, for the one who desires 'imprisoned' love. If love imprisons me then I will have none of it. I would rather be free and alone, than a prisoner to a lover. But, that's just me. I'm sure a lot of people here will relate to what you have written. Good work on trying a challenging form. It's well done, I just have trouble with the ending message.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
Wonderful presentation. The artwork and purple background with white lettering, centered, was the way to go. The first three lines speak to me, although, the word "surrender" isn't the way for me to prevent loneliness. I think the ending line is sad and if true, unfortunate, for the one who desires 'imprisoned' love. If love imprisons me then I will have none of it. I would rather be free and alone, than a prisoner to a lover. But, that's just me. I'm sure a lot of people here will relate to what you have written. Good work on trying a challenging form. It's well done, I just have trouble with the ending message.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thank you and you are not the only one, I did not see it like that when written it, oh well! I enjoyed the challenge, many thanks****kahpot
-
I've had that happen to me as well. Sometimes you don't see it until you see it through someone else's eyes.
You're welcome.
Jesse
-
Exactly, I did just change the last line to see what others may think (by welcoming love)
-
Good idea. Never too late to edit.
Jesse
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a lovely verse for the 5 Line Poem contest.
Your short poem tells a story of surrendering loneliness and imprisoning love. What a splendid concept.
Well done and good luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
I think this is a lovely verse for the 5 Line Poem contest.
Your short poem tells a story of surrendering loneliness and imprisoning love. What a splendid concept.
Well done and good luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thank you for your wonderful review and comments, as always much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from jenintorre
High there Kahpot
I really like your five line poem. It is very profound and cerainly true. I love the artwork and presentation. Good luck in the competition. Jen.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
High there Kahpot
I really like your five line poem. It is very profound and cerainly true. I love the artwork and presentation. Good luck in the competition. Jen.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thank you, I am glad you liked this one, it was a fun challenge, as always much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Therese Caron
Wow, I love this one. It is a great 5 line poem contest entry. The pictures and colors you chose are stunning and add to your presentation. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
Wow, I love this one. It is a great 5 line poem contest entry. The pictures and colors you chose are stunning and add to your presentation. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thank you for your wonderful comments and encouraging review, much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Gail Denham
Good poem - but might not want to imprison love - rather let it out to breathe and grow (my opinion) - still a very nice poem with a good message, that's for sure.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
Good poem - but might not want to imprison love - rather let it out to breathe and grow (my opinion) - still a very nice poem with a good message, that's for sure.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thank you, and I agree "let it out" never thought of it like that, many thanks and much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Barbaraj1
This is an excellent poem. I love the lines about surrendering loneliness and imprison love. This is very insightful and clever. Good job on this 5 line poem.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
This is an excellent poem. I love the lines about surrendering loneliness and imprison love. This is very insightful and clever. Good job on this 5 line poem.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thank you for this excellent review, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
So true and yes, profound! It never stops, the seeking of love, whether it be benign or torrid it is ever-present in our daily comings and goings. Love is the supreme subject of our everyday living! Well done1
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
So true and yes, profound! It never stops, the seeking of love, whether it be benign or torrid it is ever-present in our daily comings and goings. Love is the supreme subject of our everyday living! Well done1
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thank you for these wonderful comments and review, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I think this is a truism that is well-done in the short poetic format here. I like the graphic art choice with the slightly cold colors reminiscent of a prison but the purple adds the element of love's feeling.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
I think this is a truism that is well-done in the short poetic format here. I like the graphic art choice with the slightly cold colors reminiscent of a prison but the purple adds the element of love's feeling.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thank you very much, I am glad you liked the artwork it seemed to suit, much appreciated****kahpot
