Of You I Feel This Way
When someone grabs your heart and never lets go32 total reviews
Comment from Wabigoon
Oh, I like this and I think you certainly express your love or adoration. For me, there's maybe a word or two too many and I think you defeat your purpose a bit with the way you put things, a bit archaic, perhaps, with a strain sometimes to rhyme or have the right syllable count or something. But nice job. You've done it your way and that's what counts, not my score.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
Oh, I like this and I think you certainly express your love or adoration. For me, there's maybe a word or two too many and I think you defeat your purpose a bit with the way you put things, a bit archaic, perhaps, with a strain sometimes to rhyme or have the right syllable count or something. But nice job. You've done it your way and that's what counts, not my score.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
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Jeff, thanks
Comment from June Sargent
This is lovely! The sentiments are beatifully expressed, creating imagery that is romantic but not overtly sexual. Eyes that sparkle like fireflies, a gown that is smooth and silky, like fine wine. And you did it without usng the list of forbidden words! Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
This is lovely! The sentiments are beatifully expressed, creating imagery that is romantic but not overtly sexual. Eyes that sparkle like fireflies, a gown that is smooth and silky, like fine wine. And you did it without usng the list of forbidden words! Well done.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2019
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June, thank you!
Comment from Brian Hill
The words here are really putting this story into a glorious visual for all of us to see. To have such romantic visions with beautiful words guiding us is breathtaking... Thank you
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
The words here are really putting this story into a glorious visual for all of us to see. To have such romantic visions with beautiful words guiding us is breathtaking... Thank you
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
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Brian, thank you!
Comment from sunnilicious
It is nice to be in love and loved back in return. You seem intoxicated here. Well thought out. Clearly and creatively written poem in a story. And it unfolded nicely. May you always be blest. Good luck in the contest :)
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
It is nice to be in love and loved back in return. You seem intoxicated here. Well thought out. Clearly and creatively written poem in a story. And it unfolded nicely. May you always be blest. Good luck in the contest :)
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
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Thank you! And I so wish this to be so...
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I'm thinking that you're talking about a Japanese girl throughout this poem. They can be dazzling that's for sure. Such touching words without having to use any of the words that were mentioned above.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
I'm thinking that you're talking about a Japanese girl throughout this poem. They can be dazzling that's for sure. Such touching words without having to use any of the words that were mentioned above.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
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Rosemary thank you!
Comment from Boogienights
You have done a fine job on this contest entry. You have written a poem filked with love and devotion without using the forbidden words...not an easy thing to do. I wish you luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
You have done a fine job on this contest entry. You have written a poem filked with love and devotion without using the forbidden words...not an easy thing to do. I wish you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement!
Comment from Janet Foor
A thoughtful poem conveying your lovely message perfectly.
When someone grabs your heart and never lets go is a powerful thought that many will identify with.
Well done and good luck in the Love Poem contest.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
A thoughtful poem conveying your lovely message perfectly.
When someone grabs your heart and never lets go is a powerful thought that many will identify with.
Well done and good luck in the Love Poem contest.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
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Janet, thank you!
Comment from Susan Larson
Since I've joined fanstory I am particularly intrigued and entertained by these poems that require the poet to use certain words. It reminds me of when I was involved with odyssey of the mind, where the creativity came from within the confines of "box" and the kids had to use their ingenuity to think their way out of it. Love this!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
Since I've joined fanstory I am particularly intrigued and entertained by these poems that require the poet to use certain words. It reminds me of when I was involved with odyssey of the mind, where the creativity came from within the confines of "box" and the kids had to use their ingenuity to think their way out of it. Love this!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
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Susan thank you these are particularly enjoyable challenges.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written love poem that tells the other how he feels about the love of his life with her green eyes she dazzled him. Her scent a surprising perfume and she makes him to float on cloud nine.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
A very well-written love poem that tells the other how he feels about the love of his life with her green eyes she dazzled him. Her scent a surprising perfume and she makes him to float on cloud nine.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
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Sandra, thank you.
Comment from angel123
Your love poem is meaningful and very well-written. I enjoyed reading it and it held my attention. Your first two sentences very caught my attention and the following two are equally well-written. Your poem flows and rhymes well and you choose a nice artwork choice. I don't recommend any changes.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
Your love poem is meaningful and very well-written. I enjoyed reading it and it held my attention. Your first two sentences very caught my attention and the following two are equally well-written. Your poem flows and rhymes well and you choose a nice artwork choice. I don't recommend any changes.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2019
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Thank you!